What would You do?

   Ask Yourselves what You would do if these People did this to You, there are plenty out there that would have walked right up to Bill Rowley and shot Him in the face I know. Myself? I really wish I could to tell the truth, but I have spent some time in jail and do not wish to be locked up again, even though I'd more than likely only do a few years. What I am hoping for is that this Punk Ass Son of a piece of shit approaches Me, that is about to happen too I am sure. He is so sure of Himself that I feel He believes He can be proven innocent. When I contacted this Ass about the Playboy He lied through His teeth, and the way He did so was no Gentleman either. His words were pretty brash, He stated how He has something He can taste and a bunch of other crap. In the first place Mr. Rowley, You flat out disrespected Your Wife saying the things You said. I can hear Him denying any disrespect, but it is a fact that when You talk about a Woman in such a manner it is exactly that. As far as Him coming up to Me, Bill that may be Your biggest mistake in Your life, You know first hand how fast this Kid can move, to this day I really don't have to work on it because it is a natural reaction for Me to move like I do, and You know it too. So here I sit and tell You, bring it on Boy. The rest of You enjoy Your life and stay away from the dope, They call it dope for a reason Ya big dope, Kelly

Here and now

   I have a cause, in My eye it is worth fighting for, a killing offense actually. I stress the point about taking a life as I stated somewhere probably a year ago, wow, because it grabs the attention of the Police. I hear Their computer picks up things like Murder and other violent crimes, good I say, and I will use it to My advantage. I can understand how a lot of You, more like nearly all of You, do not except that I was handed a Playboy printed especially for Me, that sounds like a farce to Me too, but I will go to My grave knowing that I speak the truth. Johnny Carson, Craig Furguson, the Simpsons, Tyler Perry that is some fucked up shit Pal, no wonder People hate Americans, They play headgames for one thing, that to Me is not normal, Grown Adults do nothing of the sort, that is a known fact. The words, "We are at war You know?", come to mind and I can actually see where They can look at Us like a bunch of spoiled brats, You allow People like this Hugh Hefner to be Millionaires because He was a Pervert that talked some Girls into posing for Him and He sold it. These People are nothing less than garbage in My opinion, and I really doubt that even then He could have started it all on $1,000. He borrowed from His Mother too. I can see My Moms reaction if I told Her I was going to do such a thing and I needed money to get it started. Well I gotta quit for now, God bless Us all, We need the help, Kelly.

Thank You Soldiers

   All I have to say today is Thank You to the ones that put Their lives on the line for others. I still say I made a mistake by not joining right out of high school, I know My life would have been better, My so-called Friends would have never had the chance to ruin My life. Amen.

With liberty and justice for All

   Liberty I say is not in question, but justice? Where in the Hell is that? If You are an outcast in the World there is no justice, the People in charge don't give a rats ass for a missfit. You have to realize that even before I was set up with the drugs They had chosen for Thier crime that I was still not a very bright Kid, but now I am what is known as a Spacecase. I did not by any means choose the path I walked, if I did I sure as shittin' would be standing along side of Nancy. It still boggles My mind when I realize that I hurt Her thirty years ago, what really bothers Me is that I have lived a lonely life since then when I actually should have been dating pretty regularly. This sucks! Here I am doing My damndest to bring down a couple Punks, depressing. I made up My mind the other day to continue for as long as it takes, I feel if I do so I might just get lucky in a few years down the road, pathetic aint it? Well I can say this for Myself at least, I sure as Hell am not a cradle robber like this Bill Rowley, the Boy even married Someone nearly half His age. Good for Him I hear Ya say, but to Me it says no Woman would know the Kid, I gaurantee none would if They knew how He truly is. "Don't insult My intelligence.", is what needs to be said to these Boys, I do have a little sense, I see what has been done to a slow Child and it infuriates Me. A Cad is a Cad, and I will not be called one, "I was a Womanizer.", I already admitted to being a Jerk that did'nt know any better then to break hearts, but now I refuse to do so. I have had plenty of chances to do just exactly that, but Nancy broke Me of that. Within months of walking away from Her I was doing exactly that, one last time, never again, not even for sex. Sex was so easy back then, now? Hell I told You before I won't even really try, but if things go right Ya never know aye? I gotta get out of here, I'll see Ya later, Kelly.

3000 pagewiews? Well almost.

    Ya, today I just looked in to see just how close I am to 3000, gettin' there. How's it goin'? Well I hope. Me? I still aint sold My truck, I need to in order to pay off the other one, I hate payments and the repo Man. I have bought only one new truck in the past, an '87 Chevy, it was repoed a year later. I don't want another brand new one until I can pay fully for it. Damn if all the People that looked at it were'nt scared of a little work I'd a sold Her by now. I'm too damn honest, when They ask if anythings wrong with it I tell Them everything because I really cannot do anything else. The saddest part about this retched life is that I really don't see a very good future in store, it's depressing to say the least. I do have options though, I have mentioned book ideas, it's just finding the time along with the ambition to do so. I'd love to be able to sit and watch the beach and have nothing to do but write and play the guitar, but in reality that's nothing but a dream. Not drinking I may be able save enough money to buy a chunck of land and build a house on it to sell, we're talking some money though just for the well and power, the rest I know I can accomplish Myself. Speaking of My career as a Carpenter, I have been the framing Superintendent for three different companies and I have five jobs under My belt, do You think They would let Somebody that was totally out of His mind run the job? I said I was on the verge of insanity, I have to explain that I am talking about fifteen years ago. Today I am a totally different Person. Well, I did'nt really want to blab on today, but why not? So I'm out a here Folks, thanks for reading, Kelly.

Sad but true

   Man, I gotta tell You the wierdest part of this story, like I aint said enough right? I was sitting on a foot stool when Richard got real close to Me in front with His ass near Me, and Bill crept up behind Me. Creepy? You'd better Fucking believe it, sent vibes People. I know what these Assholes are up to, Richard's trying to drive Me insane, I felt some serious anger today towards this Fellow, like I say I can't get this Prick out of My mind I want Him so bad. Insanity? I have been on the brink of it I believe. In the late '90s I was going through pure Hell. A drunken drug addict with a heart brake so bad it alon3e was driving Me over the edge. Anger was a real issue, but I have curbed it a bit. If I were totally insane Bill Rowley would have been killed, no doubt about that. I had enough of My witts to stop Me from commiting muder. I know that alone sounds Fucked up, but You have no clue at how mad They have Me at this point in life. Another thing about My sanity is that I have a better grip on reality then You may think. Also I have been sensing Full Grown aires latley, I see My life going through the fazes of life. This in no means gives Me the right to call Myself a Grown Man, Hell, I'm still too tounge tied at times to be considered a Man in My idea. Still aint drinklin' though, Wa-Hoo. C-Ya later bye.

Follow this

   I see I have found some new followers, even though I never seem to accumulate more than 97 or so. But that's alright with Me. Anybody want to buy a truck? I got tired of putting money into the one I bought over a year ago, now I'm in debt for $2,900. if I sell My old one for $1,500. I'll give the carlot $1,000., $5,500. total $2,600. down, it sure is nice to drive something You can take some pride in. The problem I have now is that I am sure I'll get into more trouble and lose it, I'm talking about running into one of these Assholes and Fucking Him up so bad They'll lock Me up for a spell. That does'nt bother Me, it's the thought of losing it all again. One thing I have no doubt They'll take My dumb butt to jail for is drinking, I have'nt had a drink since the Superbowl, I woke up the next morning with a purple ankle and don't remember falling down, that'll straighten Ya out a bit. I quit for a year and a half before, so I know that if I make it through these first months I'll make it all the way. I cannot stress it enough to You youths out there that have never experienced drugs and alcohol, take it from the voice of experience, DON'T START!!! If You never start, You'll never have a problem with them. The word 'problem' really should make You look at it as an Adult, "If it causes You problems then maybe I should'nt try Them", is exactly how a normal brain would look at it, not like the Kids in Americas that think They know better. If I knew the consequences from the get go I would have never allowed these People to attack My life in such a manner. Now, take that and think on it, Kelly.

Been Jammin'

   How in the Hell are You tonite? Myself? Feeling jocular. Bah, that should get some ones attention. Hey, I'm just some Clown these Guys Fuck with, I asked for help as best as I could. My problem is that I brake down. I am an 'emotional wreck' as the saying goes. I walked into the Playboy west studio in Santa Monica because I was attempting to write My life story and was seeking help, I thought it would be easy, that was in 2002. I was given a number to call and when I did He hung up due to Me not being able to stop crying. I know Myself pretty well, if I were to sit down and talk to an Attorney or Judge about what has taken place in My life I would brake down and cry enough that They would, especially a Judge, have Me sedated. The facts of life stare Me in the face daily, I am the Laughing Stock of America, Childsplay Sir! Richard Pattison is an adolesent, as many others Our age. I Myself have a bad habit of being childish in My manner at times, but not to the point of deliberatly setting out to destroy a life in such a crude and cruel fashion. I was the kind of Kid that just hung out and tried to fit in, naive and vulnerable. You have to remember, I jumped on top of Shiela at a dead run to get back into the room right before I was set up with the drugs and Rock & Roll. I felt like a Man once while We were together, once, but I will not insult Your intelligence by telling You I was even near a Grown Man, Hell I'm still not going to allow Myself to call this Child a Full Grown Man. I am wise to the ways of the World, not as wise a Man as I hope to become, but wise enough to know right from wrong, these People are seriously wrong. Have a good one, Kelly.