Been quiet

   Do not for an instant think I am letting these People off the hook. I have but few years left, be it twenty or forty. I am beyond middle aged and never even realized I was. there's not a whole lot of 108 year old's out there. I am really curious on how I have effected T.V., Richard seems to have an outlet just too mess with Me. I want You to understand that when I say something like that I look at it's reality. Since I started this I have actually been without the ability to watch whatever I want daily. Even now I pay for the web but not the cable. Hell the only reason I was watching those damn shows where Their arrogance is outstanding, is because I received the minimum channels that are free. Meaning Fox. I really can't put up with the crap They put out. Family Guy, The Simpson's, I could go on. Quality Television it is lacking. Well, I just had to say I'm still here and fighting, Kelly.

Bad Elvis1

   I am a new Human that is a fact. It is a serious thing I speak of Folks. Folks? I have used that one from the "get go" We all do it "Momma" We are taught to repeat, it is mockery. We as People do it because it is natural. Kid's mess with other Kid's because it is what is going on. Hey, I finally remembered a story of My life while typing, I'll be dammed. Too the Youth in the World as of the year 2114? I as a Human Being am named Kelly McGill. I just read what I had written and saw a bland, boring, so far back woods, uneducated, You know what I mean kinda Kid. Wow, I say. As I have stated I clean up what I scribble here and try to present an authentic story. So I leave My rough draft of the Evening for full exposure of My mind. No Bull Pal, that's Kelly McGill. I did have to go through this latter part to clarify a thing or two. As a finish of My jabbering Here Tonite I will conclude with a rendition of an earlier page. I will complete My story of the Night with Jibberish as far as I'll know. I am a Human though and am able to see different route too, I think I'll end with this, I am a Jackass. I even told John Pierson, Whom again I say lives in Pflugerville Texas, on Malden, to tell'em to say eeeah, Grandpa Kelly says Eeeah was done by Tyler Perry? I have to insist on continuing for one last thing. I am still capable of living a Life with an Adult Female standing by My side. Hurt pride is devastating. I am so amazed that I even live Friends. Pain sucks and this really brings it out so hard. I am so in love with a Woman. Nancy, You are My life. I'm through, She does bring a smile though.

   I have to ask the question, "America?".

Dork!

   That title cracked Me up. As I write here, right now, I am in a frame of mind less than normal. But at the same time I realize more than You comprehend. Meaning, You know nothing about My knowledge, nor My inner Being looking at the World go by. Granted, I too know of My own thoughts and not Yours. One of the greatest things known to Man is when You can see a Human understand what it is that You are understanding at the same time. Oh I know I am talking off the wall as They say it, and even being very crude in the sense of many mentalities around the Globe, but when You see right through a Person and see that that Human knew exactly what it was that You are realizing at that same time is neat. Hell Kid's, I could shock Your silly Behinds about now with such crud. You know, People out there criticize a Lonely Person, especially Males, but if I really tried married Gals are a dime a dozen. The Blues? I hate the exiztance of a Human, Myself. I was a Kid that sat back and watched. My late Teens? Hell on Wheels Pal. You nor any other Person is going to do anything, and I do refer to the Police out there. Hey, I really did walk up to the Playboy Mansion and rattle the gate. Twice now I have walked up to the Playboy west studio in Santa Monica Cal. too. The first time I had a brilliant idea to write My Life story. And knowing They had contacted Me in 1980 I thought what the hey. I even sent Snail Mail Hughs way at first. I know They are around somewhere. I do have a question for You, would a Guy go to these extremes as a bad joke? Try Me. Seriously, try Me in front of a Jury Tomorrow. I demand it.

What I hate!

   I hate Assholes, well I am one due to My retarded Life. I hate messed up People, well I are one! I hate People that allow Richard Pattison, I allowed Him.  I hate the Bullshit that surrounds Us daily. I hate the naive ways People look at the World, They want to kill Us. I hate these People wanting to kill You. In actuality I feel sorry for Them. They are in the same Boat as most Americans are up to the date September 20th, Today, in the year of 2014. Hey! We are being accosted by Enemies of America and I am now waking up to that fact Myself. "It'll blow over." is what brings Us down. I as an American am seeing a change come over Us, We have all seen what happened after the attack on New York itself, but what I see is an open Country with an Enemy that created itself entering with reckless Authority. Meaning They are here to Kill Goddamn it. Those are laymens terms Son. I am the last one to say Kill a Man, but I am being Freind, and yes that is My exact thought when saying this part, keep Your head lower than Your butt, We want to see 'em both around for a spell. Hey! People want to destroy Us. And as far as Richard goes, He'd more'nlikey back You, I'll give 'im that, don't  Yur back. Excuse Me if You will? Crudeness? That is Me. I just used the restroom and came back and read this? Kelly? No wonder You all ignore Me. "Just ignore Him maybe He'll go away!", never works.

Crap!

   The only way I could start Tonight came out. Crap! I had so much to say here recently. While doing this and living in a tent was easy, I'd use My phone and leave Myself messages daily. Now I am being bombarded with work and have so much on My mind now. The easiest way to keep track of a job is to carry a pocket size tablet, done it at least four times now. But as far as what I had to say here Tonight? I really am losing My ability to talk about My Life, mainly is because I have opened up too much already. Folks, I am not a "Get rich quick" kinda Guy. My proof is in My ability to climb the ladder at work faster than most. I know My job and I bust My ass harder than a casual life at work would even think of. Manual Labor is tough enough, but I am one of those that kick it up to the degree that Others are astonished. I Myself on Monday have not been awarded full helm as the Boss said He was considering, but I am going onto the addition to the Wind River Casino known as the food court with the handle of Foreman. Thus I am in charge of certain areas and all People within said range too. A General Contractor is the Job I have learned in the past few months. I do believe I have said enough to teach any Kid out there in the Streets, as I know I have stated before, to give You the confidence to see that there are avenues of opportunity, just take the walk. Hell, in California You can make it on the local bus systems nearly statewide. Covered a few miles that way when I left Santa Monica. It really is something how I can find a subject and ramble. The one Tonite as I say was at random. Thanks for listening to an old Fools rambling, Kelly.

Do You People even care?

   It seems to Me I am wasting My time here. I am wondering if I even deserve a decent shot in Life, Nobody else seems to give a shit. I look at My life and ask Myself what I have done to deserve such a rotten Life and after looking at it more times than I can recall I still have to ask why Me? I sincerely have never gone out of My way to harm another Person. Yes I did go to California to find this Pattison, but only after I realized exactly what He had done to My mind. These People find it amusing to do what They do and I doubt if any remorse has set in either. A Cowardly act if there ever has been one for sure. I insist on saying that these People are the direct party responsible for Me plight in Life. In all sincerity I really hate My life and will either change it or end it.

Loss of interest Myself

   I sure have'nt been rattling on lately. Tired is all. Forty hours has been a short week for quite a time now, it's catching up too. I really want to recap what I am even speaking of Tonight. As I have said, and I swear with open eyes looking at My dilemma, I was just some Kid that was beginning out in Life when I was sent into a World of heartache. Soon after People decided it was Their appointed duty to help Me become a song Writer. I seriously was sitting at home when a knock was heard on a door that only allows certain People in through an intercom. Huh! Right afterwards I find some "Acid Rock,", in an obvious position. After the second time being set up in the exact same manner I was asked by William "Bill" Ogden Rowley to join a Band, I did'nt know a chord. Again the wheels churned and with the help of Others I wound up in Austin Texas. Yes, I walked into a Party at the Marriott that night too. There was a concert in Austin I feel I should have followed My first thoughts and went to instead of goofing off like We were. Jackson Browne I believe it was, I am curious if I did'nt crash His after Party to be honest. And if You are wondering how They could have ever known where to find Me after I left that night, I did kind a lose it when the acid hit Me a bit and just happened to be looking out the window at the job I was working at at the time. It would be a simple thing to find out Who was running it and if They had some Kid from Wyoming working with Them named Kelly McGill. People, They gave a slow Kid, Me, enough acid to keep Him awake for over two day well before They gave Me the Playboy. I for one as a Human cannot even prtend to like a Person that messes with Another.

At a loss Here.

  I am at a loss on how these People are allowed to ruin My Life and then screw with Me. Good God!

Riverton Wyoming and getting cooler.

   The Mountains close by, the Wind Rivers, was gifted with enough snow last night to tell Us winter is creepin' in. You want some rugged country? The majority of these areas are Wilderness areas. Grizzlies and Wolves. Most of You out there look at Them as Animals, well They are. And They do as Animals do, They get hungry and eat something. The Wolves in particular have increased since the introduction of the Canadian species, bigger and faster, thus becoming a danger. Don't tell Me They won't attack Humans either. In the Cody Wyoming paper about a year or so ago there was an article about a Gentleman being chased while riding His bike. They never mentioned if He was on a Mountain trail or not but hey, a Wolf after You for dinner? I did'nt plan on going off on this subject Tonight really, I wanted to talk about how this Richard Pattison and His Pals were as Children. Nerds? Yea that is what Richard ran with. I know 'em all too well. I did'nt hang out with these Boy's Myself I became a Friend through Bill Rowley after working with Him. I just found a good finish for Tonite, Wolves in Nerds clothing. "Revenge of the Nerds!", is something Richard would come up with I can bet money. M t.v.? I do remember seeing Mike Judge's comic strip when He lived at Reagon Hills apartments. He used to sell pot that's how I wound up at His apartment. I wonder how deep Richard is. It is peculiar when I see all the commercials with a guitar in them. Being a Musician I notice this more. You have to understand Richard here, the Kid's baddass. I'd love to drop Him, and continue to kick Him in vital spots along His torso, but the Boy can play the guitar. This in no way excuses His actions then and now. "A Hot Dog.", "Too Cool.", "Hot Shot Kid.", "Too Smooth.", "Spoiled.",I can go on and on with cliche's about those Children. This Child needs You to know and see that I am here and I am in a certain sense My right mind. That in itself scares Me. I am writing this and seeing it in front of Me. I do take a realistic look at Myself, especially when I am writing this junk. As I have said since day one, this is no gag, Kelly.

Again I type, why?

   The question is why, why live? Why help Others? Why should We worry about the World's problems? Why am I asking? Because! People of Today's World are more intelligent They say. I don't feel it is so. Yes We have advanced beyond any of Their expectations for a fact, but all We are now are well educated. Even Myself had fair grades in My last four years of School. In fact due to probation I had to aquire My records. I had a B average in everything except Science where I had a D average. Of those classes range from creative writing, math, P.E., welding, food service, building trades, auto body, and the regular crowd. I came out with a B that makes Me feel good. Of course I never venture into Algebra, but I can spell it. Nor did I achieve a passing grade in Physics or Trig either. My plan was to skate through as close as I could without to much trouble, and yes that is how My life has actually been too. The wrong hand leading a Child does have severe affects People. I don't care much for bragging, what I say right here and now may sound like it though, if People would have left the little Boy alone He would have found greatness instead of being the one that saw it pass in front of Him without an ability to grab it. Life sucks for a lot of Us, Hey We don't need Your help in that area. "Hold Him back He's a Dummy.", that would tear a Childs heart out admit it. If You think a retarded Person has no clue that They are actually slow You are naive. Man, I am blown away. I also had an I,Q, # on that School report.................one hundred and sixty four if I remember right. I am not far off for damn sure. I even took one of those computer test recently, 125 but it was confusing at first on how to take the test. I did what I could in Their time limit. So I aint the biggest Dummy on Earth am I?

In the first place if I were,,,,,

   When My mind holds still long enough to really grasp how Others are it is amazing how Children are in America Today. A frightening thing is taking place and yet They screw with Me? I insist on the fact that I do write this crap from the heart too. I have an idea to help You with Your decision about Me, am I the one making fun of some retarded Kid? My Grand Mothers name is Ella, I am Grandpa Kelly too. Proof being on the text messages months before the show from area code 512, number 300-9450. A throw away phone from Target I still pay $10. a year on to keep active. It is in fact within ear shot as I type and For hours after to boot.  Damn it! I thought They were My Friends Folks. I have said it before and I am saying it again, if nothing else comes out of this other then changing Lives, opening eyes, Hell I'd be proud for damn sure. Hey! What the Fuck? Kelly.

By Golly!

   What in the Hell is a Golly? And to be by Golly? Is that like Holy Smokes, or By Jsesus? One thing I have taken into view, which does mean "I have noticed." is that when something is cool, meaning acceptable, We tend to copy it. Fact. Even saying the word fact is the same damn thing. Hey, do you want to go way overboard with that one? From the Day You are taught to talk You are in actuality just mocking what You see and hear. From that Day forward You instinctively watch and accept what is being formed. My experience in this field is undocumented yes. But My experience up close and for real is exactly that. I have heard over the years sayings such as "In the real World", I have one thing to say there. I may not live in Your World, but what ever World was created for Me is as real as it can be fro Me. I do not think of this as a fun thing what I am doing here. I have cried My eyes out Folks just to get this out there. Hey, I am a small Child in the eyes of Grown. I Myself would have killed this Child years ago if I thought He were unworthy of a decent Life. Kelly McGill.

F-in' Heimer!

   I left a little memento on My way from L.A. to Sacramento. The whole way up 99 I wrote F-in ' Heimer was Here! It was a monotony breaker. I wrote I slept here, I bathed here and a few other choice sayings I can't really recall. The point is, I did it. Kelly McGill has gone so many places and seen so many different opportunities in His Life and that is a written fact right here and now. But why in the Hell can He not be a normal Lover? Huh! Again, I am a lost Fool with a rough way in Life. This in itself will tarnish a Persons pride. I have said before that when I was blindsided by Nancy I looked so deep into the depths of My Life and knew I was out classed. The pain from that I would only wish on a rotten Human. Pain in Life opens Our eyes to reality. He that wishes to argue go hit Yourself with a hammer. By golly I'll show Ya sooner or later that I am a decent Human being harrassed in a fashion unallowed. By golly I let stand since I wrote 'er that way. Kelly.

You are a reason to live.

   Yes, I have a wisdom that allows Me to look at the World. I admit that My mental eye has yet to develope fully. I see Grown People new everytime I see one that's how new I am. A Greenhorn for sure. But the difference is that I do have an open mind to growing. I feel feelings most of You out there, no exaggerations, may never feel. People die daily You know? I could be done right after, or during this next sentence. Wow! I know for sure Nobodies wrote that one down before. But hey, My name is Kelly McGill and I was left to hang. I had to grab the attention of some People with the position to act upon what is a horrible offence. I truly am amazed at how these People are allowed to do what it is that They actually do get away with. Reality! You as a whole feel it is a cordial gathering. You against the slow Guy. I am that slow Guy. I hurt Nancy, and that one devastates Me. Reality? Grow the fuck up! What You have here is a lost soul that understands exactly where He is and What exactly is going on in the World around Him. I am not a totally lost Child, even though I Myself have My doubts without a joke intended. Hey! I am the one They..... Oh? You don't really give a Fuck? Wow? Americans Today? "Who cares?", "Dumbass!", "What a Winner!" or whatever clever things You have to say. Hey!!!! You!!!! The one joking about Me or anything else that a Man refuses to laugh at!!!!!!!!!