My true calling

   I have it figured out, I am supposed to bean Author. I have started a few book ideas but have yet to finish any of them. My latest one I am sure will do good. I cannot tell You at this time what  it's about, but I feel it has a good plot to it. What I need to do is get busy on it I know. A copyright is as easy as sending it in really, getting Someone to buy it is another. I am a copyrighted Musician and believe Me when I say that as fast as They get Your copyright to You there are already Companies sending You stuff. I had two companies contact Me quite a few times too. But the way They sounded I was leery, I even walked into a Lawyers office and showed the paper work to Him. It wasn't His field but He felt that one of Them may not be legitimate so I gave up on both of Them. In the first place They wanted money from Me. If They want My music I am sure They would be offering Me money instead. A book seems an easier way to go to Me. Again all I have to do is apply Myself. I have started around four stories but have yet to complete one. I used to get A's in a class called different perspectives because of My ability to come up with stuff, so I think I'll work harder on My new idea. Wish Me luck will Ya? Sincerely, Kelly McGill.

Sick and tired

   I am already tired of Seattle. I stayed away from My apartment all day Saturday and Sunday because of My neighborhood, the Gay parade was going on and there's no way in Hell I'm even going to be seen walking down the same street. Another thing is You can't park in a decent spot. You have to pay money to the City to even park on the street in front of Your house, knutts. I really can't stand the job much either. So I am looking into Billings Montana. I was checking it out before, I went there for Thanksgiving and liked the way Women are towards Me more than here. When I took on the job here I was really wanting out of Riverton Wyoming because that little town gets to Me after a while. Since graduating in '78 I have never stayed there as long as I did the last time. Usually after a year there I'm wanting to see something new. The pay isn't much lower than here in Billings, and the rent is much better. My main reason for even coming to Seattle is that I had never been here. I hope to see all of the U.S. before I die and now I've covered a part I had been wanting to see. Seattle is definitely one of those places that is a nice place to visit, but I sure as Hell don't want to live here. So onward I say.

Cowards

  I refuse to call Children Men. You see it all the time where so Kid did something and They'll say "This young Man." or similar. A Man is in no way a Child, these People that tried to completely destroy My mind and are now out there screwing with My life are exactly the type I mean too. Richard Pattison is the same age as I, fifty five year old. Do You know that at this age They start calling You a senior Citizen? I can even get the discount in a lot of places, even though I never try. But I will not lie and call Myself a Grown Man, I am honest with Myself. I am way too old to be screwed with by Children like these. I've said it before "There are some things a Man just doesn't do." and that is a fact of life. I have been the Foreman on many crews since I was twenty three, that alone says that I'm not all that fucked up, damn glad I didn't do the ether, but I can make the stupidest mistakes. All I have ever really wanted in life was to keep My head above water, I've near drowned in that aspect. But now I am at an age I want a decent life, I had a fairly good start to be honest. I would enjoy having a life with no worries, but it never fails something always blocks My path. I was wandering through life so lost that I didn't even realize I missed middle age. I feel that is around thirty five and forty, seriously at that age I was truly lost. I told You about crying for a solid year, seriously I cried everyday. I attempted suicide then too. I still have a life that hasn't been able to really get His shit together, but I am a different Person now. I don't have the anger I used to have for one thing, I was "Mad at the World" to be honest, now I try to let it roll off My back. Enough said, have a great weekend.

Post 741

   With 741 posts I should have Your attention by now. "The Rich get richer.", wow. And, "Bad things happen to Good People.", another wow. I really cannot understand how these People blatantly mess with Me on a National scale and get away with it. I am dead serious about all of this.

A day to remember

   I've had a lot of days I'll remember, and Yesterday is one. I decided I'd take My company truck down and wash it. While sitting at a light I watched an Oriental Woman standing at the intersection. She started crying and covering Her face. The second time She did this another Woman walked over and asked if She was alright. The Oriental Gal took hold of Her arm, when She pulled away She reached for Her other arm. After pulling away the second time the Oriental Gal put Her finger down the front of this Ladies blouse. That didn't set well and She tried to walk away, the Oriental Gal wasn't going to let Her leave so She started running, the Oriental Gal started chasing Her. The light changed and I kept watching as I drove off. She didn't really seem like She was going to get violent to Me. I still think I should have went around the block and tried to help Her. It is that way in the Cities, "We don't want to get involved." is the saying, and I am sure that is what is happening with My plight, Nobody cares. I guarantee seeing that Yesterday doesn't set well with Me. I knew as soon as I saw this Woman crying like She was that She was not mentally stable, You live in the streets for a while and You see People different then before. Seattle is a crazy place I have to say that.

Today

  In America at this time in Our history We are going through some wild crap. The Confederate flag is being taken down, Muslims are telling Us how to live, and We are near an all out War on American soil. Why? Do We just let People run over Us? I Myself have always been the one that would get run over, but not as much now. Because I have been through it on the other side I see it clearly. Bullies are what We are facing in My opinion. They are leading Us into a fight for Our Lives. Most Americans will fight, but I'm seeing a lot that just want to be left alone. I for one am one of those that wants to be left alone too, but when others push You finally say enough and retaliate. We really need to open the eyes of America's Youth before They find Themselves in a predicament in which They are either fighting for Their Lives or in a concentration camp because They didn't think it was important enough. I feel that a lot of these People coming to America want exactly that, We killed the Indians and put the Survivors on Reservations. We really are in deep shit Folks. And People like this Richard Pattison and Hugh Hefner are the types They are after in My opinion. They do strange things in the eyes of the World. This messing with a Kid on T.V., and publishing a smut mag are not actually normal to People of the World. It just shows You how screwy America is. Let's do something now, Kelly McGill.

Seriously

I am a little pissed off right now. When I see how these People are and Nobodies doing a damn thing about Them I get hot. This down right nonsense to let some Kid do whatever He pleases. Richard is a spoiled little Kid. When He was'nt allowed to do what He wanted He ran away from home. I really doubt if He ever spoke to His Dad again. This Child needs bent over a knee and spanked for real. Richard knows I'd beat the crap out of too, He thinks He's a bad ass but He is mistaken. Put this Person behind bars now. I would if I could.

Still here

 Dammit Man, it has been a long time since I started this crap. I have been through a lot since I began this plea for help. I see all the time now how the Police are getting a bad reputation. I have sure fire way to make Yourselves look better, take down some Criminals. Sounds simple. But no People with money get away with crimes. Why? Who do They know? I guess old Hugh Hefner might have some big shot in His pocket. I've been hearing things about the old Boy that make Him seem like an Ass. I in My Youth have had a Life that still has Me spinning a bit. I'll refresh the beginning here for You. I had just gotten out of the shower and went to turn on some music. I look down and Pink Floyd's Animals was on the turntable. Bob Pace would have been the only one that could have put it there. The timing was perfect too. Before I could start it a knock was heard on My door. When I answered it Freda 'Fred' Mares was there. She asked if I wanted to buy some acid. Having never done any before, and not being all that bright, I said, 'I guess so'. I was so high I was playing lead with the album, air guitar. A week later I get out of the shower and go to the stereo, this time there is a cassette of Rushes 2112 sitting right on top of it. Again, before I could even play it there was a knock on the door. Low and behold it's Fred again asking if I want to buy some acid, 'Yea I guess so.' was again My reaction. That night turned My life. On My next payday I bought My first guitar. It was right after the 2112 trip that Bill Rowley said that, "Richard wants You to join Us in a band.", I barely knew how to hold the instrument. That summer acid kept showing up too. Every time I was asked to buy some I had the same reaction, 'I guess so.'. So I guess They can just do it and get away with it? Wow.

Dang Kid won't quit

   "Nice Guy's finish last, so no more Mr. Nice Guy!", it pays to be a nice Guy at times, like the apartment I just breezed into. Not like $800. a month for a studio is all that great, but I move in this afternoon with no money up front. The Owner of the building I am building owns other property and found a spot for Me. He also knocked some off the price for Me to boot. Along with a month to month lease agreement I think it will do. I have never been to a City like Seattle before, even though the aire here is familiar with Santa Monica's. They started building houses and never stopped it seems. You can drive for miles and all You see are houses. I've been to a lot of Cities and have never seen a set up quite like this area. One bad thing about My place is that it's directly centered in what is known as a Gay area. I have been sleeping in the truck the last few weeks and stayed close to the job. It is tougher than Hell to find a spot where You'll not draw attention. Homeless People here are different too. I saw a Homeless town like none I've seen. They actually had port-a-Johns. The whole area was fenced off too. Their tents are pitched on top of an elevated platform as well. I bet You money You don't even venture into the area if You're not a decent enough Person to be there. Meaning I think They Police Themselves in there and You will be tossed out for messing up. Anything that would make the City want to tear down Their little town definitely would not be advised. Well? How's the case against Richard Pattison going? If there even is one.

I really hate this

   Just coming up with a title for this silly ass shit depresses Me.

Hello

   I am a lousy life and I seek help. I hurt so bad last night for Nancy I question My sanity for even suffering through the pain I endure daily. I am the original nice Guy Folks. I am new to Seattle so I have been walking around the Capitol Hill area to learn it, it's a Gay area so I won't be learning any more around there. But as  was walking I saw a good looking young female and knew right away She was Homeless, once You've been out there it's easy to spot even when They don't look like most. I gave Her $20. and told Her I'd even be willing to help Her get out of the streets, I'm readily willing when buzzed up pretty good. About that time some Kid comes walking up and asks Her if I need stabbed, it didn't set too well with Me but I kept My cool. As soon as I walked off though I was dialing 911 and told Them where He was and what had taken place. My point is that even when I try to be kind to a Stranger something always back fires. Thus is the Life of one Kelly McGill. Hey, I am the Victim here. I am not the Sleezeball that would walk into a public place and start killing People, but I am the one that would take You out for doing so. Sincerely, Kelly McGill.

What the????

   Hey! Why is this Richard Pattison still out there? I understand there are worse Criminals then He, but God Dammit I want justice served now! If You cannot tell I am pissed off about this. I really hate this Person for what He has done and for what He is doing. The facts are that if You are allowing this You are an irresponsible Human, for if I did run into Him and took His life I gave You fair warning on how I feel about it. These Children are nothing more than that, Children. You do not truly understand the anger that arises when I think of how They can get away with such a vicious thing. Good God.

Is Anyone even caring?

   I love Nancy. That is how My day starts and ends in reality. I hurt so bad for a Woman I don't really even know. When I see Her standing there helpless and crying as I try to understand what is happening right in front of Me, and I see this everyday too, I hurt seriously worse then I can put down in words. In My opinion I am a deserving Person. I am not a Murderer, a Rapist, a Molester, Thief or really even a Bad Person. I hate Life is a fact, because My is an odd one for sure. It is amazing how some People can be the biggest Jerks and win, when a Guy like Me tries His damndest to get along and it back fires. Go figure.

An outrage I say!

   Here I am again at this sorry ass attempt at justice. It is reality what I say has happened, there is enough proof on national television to say that I am being screwed with. That alone has Me seriously pissed off at these People, rub it in My face will You? This Richard Pattison is nothing more than a over grown Child, I may have My own youthful exuberance to deal with but I sure as Hell am not as childish as this character. I find it insulting and demeaning. I insist on respect in this matter. I am bewildered at how He can get away with such B.S., if it were Me I know I'd be in jail by now because that's My rotten luck. I sure as Hell hope there is Someone out there reading this that has some pull because this is past the point of ridiculous. Good God Man!

My little Llife

   I am insignificant I see. It matters to Me and no one else it seems. It is an outrage!

Hopelessness

   When I say that I was as helpless as any Human Being could being My Life I tell no joke. I stood there and stared at Sheila's body until She was so scared She hid under the covers. I stood there and stared at Nancy's body to the point that She fell in love with this little Kid standing in front of Her. Sheila has fell in love with Me twice and both times I ignored Her because I saw a little Girl standing there. I see now that Sheila and Me would have had a good marriage. Nancy scares the crap out of Me. In the past I have ruined lives, but I had nothing to do with it in reality. I cannot be held responsible for My actions in either situation. I can say without a doubt that both of these Women would back Me up on this, neither one of Them had Their senses at that moment in Our Lives. "Love is blind.", and it sure blindsided Me. And to let some Boy like this Richard Pattison to get away with the crimes He has committed is an outrage. I insist on living for some odd reason.

I can't quit this crap

   I did keep from writing this junk for a spell, but here I am back at it. I am honest when I say that there have been attempts made on My Life, I have no idea for sure Who did it, but I sure as Hell know Someone did. I told You how I had My head hugging the ground when a bullet went hissing by. I am at a loss on what to do about all of this.

Over 13,000 pageveiws

   With that many People having read My crap You'd think Someone would have investigated it by now. I went to the top of the U.S. Marshals by contacting the head office of a department. I did'nt do it in a normal manner though. I would call at night and leave a message on the recorder. On the third or fourth call I yelled at Him to do asking why Richard Pattison is not in jail. I contacted the F.B.I. in Austin Texas in the same manner. When I went to the U.S. Marshals in Cheyenne I did walk into the building. An Officer met with Me at the entrance and sent Me to the U.S. Attorny's office. When I went in I was handed a form to fill out, I wrote what I felt needed to be said. I even wrote on the back of it. Nothing. I even called a U.S. Marshals phone line so much I was told to stop calling, no shit. But here I am still struggling with this attempt to bring down these arrogant little Kids, nonsense! I ssay it again, there is not a Grown Man on the face of the Earth that would allow what these People are doing, fact.

The Baddest Mother on Earth?

   I might just be on U-Tube. I was walking home from the Bar a week or so back. When I get drunk I practice Karate while walking. As I passed a car lot three Guys came running out, one said something about some serious Martial Arts. I was a bit confused and said something and walked away. By the time I reached the end of the block one of Them caught up to Me in His car. He had His phone cam going and wanted to film Me so I showed Him some simple moves. I admit I'm not all that tough in reality, but I am a fast Son of a Bitch. If You do find it You'll see the same Kid that walked up to the Playboy Mansion with a guitar on His back, only no beard now. Just like saying something Today is all, so You Folks have a great day.

Hello again

   Last night? I had a thought, it was a terrible on too. I thought that if I killed Myself all of it would end, I had the clearest insight I think I've ever had right then too. I knew that suicide was the perfect escape. But I have mentioned before My reasons for living. One has kept Me alive for a few years now, We are at War. I have had experiences in My life I have spoke of about being the baddest Mother on Earth. And I know that if all Hell broke loose on American soil I would probably win a battle or two and not even remember it. That is the way of My life. Another reason is stuff like this, I feel I need to open the eyes of the Youth in America so They can grow. When America changes the World changes.

America, Land of the Weird.

   I went to Packwood Washington two weekends ago for Their wild Flea market deal They have twice a year. I was standing there eating when a Man walks up and flat out asked Me if I'm that Guy from Wyoming, no shit. While in the same spot at least three others all blurted out something about Wyoming. What the Hell is going on? Is there Someone showing My face out there? This land is about to self implode People, stop screwing with Kids like Me. How many times does a simple Kid getting screwed with have to go off and kill a bunch of You Assholes before You understand? You People are nothing but Jerks most of the time, get a grip.

A born Loser

   I went out last night to a local sports bar that I can walk to. While sitting there I notice some Girl and Me kept looking at each other. She was I'd say in Her late twenties. This Kid had too many tattoos for Me so I was'nt really interested. When Her and Her Friend  were leaving I looked over and She again was looking at Me. The look on My face is an ugly one I am sure and She saw one of My stupidest looks right then I know for sure. I got a little friendly also with the neighbor Lady, kissing a lot is all, and She told Me that the pain I have inside Me is all over My face. I was'nt really interested in a Girlfriend and told Her that so that's over. You know I hate this shit. Just writing this has Me so close to just breaking down I can't stand it. Have a great life out there.

God help Us

   The title says it all. In America We allow these type of People to do what They please, Wow. I really doubt if any Police have even looked into this shit. I am not a game player like this Pattison Kid. I am a real life that has had it so rough I am still amazed that I even live. I hurt so bad inside I wonder how much more I can stand. Give Me the help I deserve please.

72k

   I have'nt been on here in a while, a lot has happened since then. I was offered a job and took it. I am now the Superintendent on a project in Seattle Washington. I tell You this because I am real close to Bill Rowley. I in no way made this move to track the Boy down. It is nothing like when I went to Santa Monica looking for Richard Pattison. I will whoop the Boys ass for Him when I see Him, but I'm not going out of My way to find the Kid.