My most important letter to date, Kelly.

   I was laying awake in bed and thinking of the World as it is Today, and it scares the Hell out of Me. Here We are on the verge of all out War on the soil of the United States, nearer than most realize. This is a sobering fact of Life. We as a Nation are full of Believers in the word of a book known as the Bible. In this book there are stories beyond the beliefs of many normal People. I for one see it in a manner of My own. I believe Jesus walked the Earth, but I have My doubts that He actually did the things written. A fairy tale of sorts is what some perceive it as. Then We have the People on Earth that feel the Karaan is the right way. These People are insane beyond reason. I have read enough of it to understand They want blood. I can see why They want to hate America, We allow Gay marriages for one, immoral is what that is. But We do not condone the raping of Women and Children, nor do We say it is okay to commit murder. We do have some sense of sanity Here. I am wrong to say some sense, for there are many among Us that are rational Adults. We are under attack in America by People that are trying to take control of the World in My opinion, and the only way They can do that is to destroy the powerhouse We are. Islam is a serious threat to the World, not only America, but to all decent People. I for one say that We need to eradicate the World of this Problem before it becomes unstoppable. And if the President of the United States backs these People We are in deep shit. One thing these People need to understand is that We will win at all costs, that means We will blow up the World before We allow these type of People to gain control. And that My Friends is a fact. I hope You will join in with Me in a prayer. Our heavenly Father, We seek the strength to overcome the adversities We are being faced with. We are at a junction in Our history as a Country where We have to see clearly what it is that is right in front of Us. I fear many of Us do not understand what it is that We approach in Our future. I sincerely hope I am wrong, for I do not wish to witness what it is that I foresee. I ask for You to enlighten and open the eyes of the blind on Earth, be Them American or Whom ever. May the good People prevail over evil as it should be in a normal World. With the will of God We shall overcome this terror gripping Our lives. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

A born Loser!

  Yep, I lose, Again and again and again and again. It never fails, even when things go right I fall flat on My face. I have one to tell You here about when I was nineteen, before I was really a loser. Here I am crossing the street and I see a Cop, well I started squealing like a Pig. Once We got across the street I told Bill Rowley I wanted to go back. Well I walked back doing the same thing. When We reached the other side this Officer came over and shoved Me. I looked at Him and said 'I aint drunk and You can't do a damn thing about it!' and walked on by. A few months later Pat Lookingbill burned rubber and a Cop showed Him what power was all about by doing the same pulling into the parking lot. Later We were walking along and I saw that same Cop. I started squealing away and He pulled over in front of Us. I asked Him 'You must be new Here?' when He said He was I told Him 'I thought so.' and walked on by. Yep, I was a Hotdog back then. I thought My shit smelled like perfume, I was mistaken. Now I will, and have done, tell Officers that if I see Them in distress I will be the one stopping. If I see Someone shooting at an Officer I will without a doubt run His ass down. I was a Kid that did'nt have the sense God gave a Mule, and to this day I still don't show much. Even though I gave up he drugs and I am sticking to the sobriety. I don't even want to go out and drink a beer, I know in My heart I am finished with that nonsense. I have some more crap I aint proud of, I have over a span of thirty three years had three convictions for D.U.I. and two more I ran from. In the eighties a Guy could get away with it to a point and I never realized how stupid I was. Out of those there are only two I feel I really deserved. I admit I was not sober on any of them, but I still passed Their test before I was finally arrested. That My Friends is behind Me, I refuse to even drink a drop again. I was sober for a year and a half until I got around a so-called Friend, "Just one beer.", is what They say, a true Friend does not think it funny to see You jump off the wagon. If I see this same Fellow again I will tell Him to walk away from Me. I was, and still am, an innocent Human Being. I still have a problem talking to Women. I do know what it is to carry on an Adult conversation with Women though, but most of the time I just clam up. I feel I am unworthy, what Woman wants a dinged out Kid? Sad but true. Kelly.

The hard Life!

   If You can't tell by now, My life is what is known as a Mother Fucker. Excuse the course language but I am pissed off about all of this crap. These People are being allowed to mess with My Life and Nobody seems to be able to do a thing. I am dead serious when I say that I was camping out in Austin for a spell. One day while playing My guitar a Fella comes into My area yelling "Kelly! Kelly! Kelly!", around a year later I was watching the Simpson's and Homer is looking for His Wife Marge yelling, "Marge! Marge! Marge! Or is that Kelly! Kelly! Kelly!" and He finished by saying "Ah, I wanted the MaGilla Gorilla!", this My Friends makes Me so God Damned mad I want blood. I told You I went to Santa Monica just hoping to run into this Pattison Fella, I really hoped I would run into Him too. I said that I knew He is supposed to be in San Francisco, but I knew nothing of the place. Having been in Santa Monica before I knew exactly where I could eat daily. "Richard Pattison, Killeen Texas!" is another one that makes Me mad. These People are doing this to rub it in that I was'nt bright enough to know what it was that Hugh Hefner was sending Me the Playboy for. This is as serious a matter as there is in My opinion, I really want to hunt this Bastard down and put a bullet into Him Folks. The only thing that keeps from doing so to His Pal Bill Rowley is that I would rather see Them sit in Jail for a few years. I can say for a fact though that if I were to become terminally ill for some reason Bill would be killed before I went under ground. You really have to understand, this Child here is so blind at times that He breaks hearts of the ones that love Him. By God I am a retarded Person and I demand respect. I want these People in jail now.

More nonsense!

   I am pissed off. I told You about work being in Cheyenne, well I tried to get a job there today. This job is paying $32.21 an hour for qualified People. I was told since I have a record I was not going to be hired because the Air Force goes not allow Anybody with a record on Base. Bullcrap! I have worked on Base in Killeen Texas many times in the past, before I went to Santa Monica I was driving a cab on Base. It is ridiculous how it is in this Country when it comes to treating People right. I was refused an apartment once and the Gal pointed to the paperwork where it said I had a felony and was told, "That's the reason.". A Guy like Me gets run over and the People that commit real crimes like Richard Pattison and Bill Rowley walk away scott free, Bullshit! These are the times when I say to Myself that I should just end My life, but then I say to Myself that I might just win Tomorrow and keep plucking away. I plan on getting My record cleared through exspungement only it takes money. I know I can request a pardon too, again I need the cash. Give a Guy a break once in a while. I bet money that most of these People that blackball People have done the exact things I have, the difference is They never got caught. Less than a gram of Cocaine is a simple mistake, in actuality it was around two lines of the junk. I have'nt, and don't plan on doing, any of that crap for years now. It sure feels good to know I grew past that phase in My life. Kelly.

Holy Smokes, 5000 pageveiws!

   I am really surprised that People are actually reading this more than ever. If You saw it on My page I have contacted Hugh Hefner again, if I were lying about all of this there is no way on Earth I would go to such extremes. Like I said when I was in Santa Monica, I walked straight up to the gates of the Playboy mansion and requested an audience with Hugh personally. It still blows My mind that these Fellas can do this to My life and be accepted by Hefner and His crowd. All I was in life was a Kid that wanted to get along, and believe Me when I say that in itself was a tough thing to do. When You try to walk away from fist fights the Kids just push You all that much harder. I never really felt fear when confronted by the Boys, I just did'nt want to hurt Anyone. As I have said My first fight sent the Boy to the hospital. I snap kicked Him square in the nose without even knowing the word Karate at the time. The Kids around school after that started saying if You pushed Somebodies nose into the brain it would kill Them. Yes in four hours They will bleed internally until They die, but not instant death. I could see Ray Joe Lewis's Brother Dave starting that story. I still try to walk away, but the Kids in this land have to push a Guy like Me. I sure do hope someday They'll figure out that a Guy like Me really needs to be left alone. I am what is known as a natural when it comes to moving fast, Bill knew this for a fact too. He saw Me stop Billy Shlattery dead in His tracks on maid street here in Riverton. He also knew that I jumped off the ground and grabbed Rick Kranz before Rick could blink. They just have to try You and see if They can best a Fella. I am in no way a tough Guy, but when pushed I am a very dangerous Person, mainly because I study the Arts and it is a reaction to hit or kick when moved towards. What I am after is easy, bring these Boys down before We meet and I wind up in Prison for Manslaughter. Seriously, Kelly McGill.

What the Hell?

   I have no way out but to bring down this Richard Pattison Kid. I feel all is for not, but I can't quit. I was asked to join a Band when I did'nt even know how to play an instrument. As I have said I was home after work when I discovered Rushes 2112 sitting on top of the stereo. Before I could even start to play it Freda Mares came by with some acid, exactly like She did the weekend before when I found Pink Floyds Animals in the same manner. Within a few days Bill Rowley told Me that "Richard wants You to join in a Band.", suspicious is exactly what it is. I tell no lie when I say I moved to Texas and Kevin Childers a Friend of Bills that went along kept coming up with acid for Me to do. If You can't tell I was a slow Child, I never understood the side effects of doing L.S.D. or I would have never done the crap. I wound up crashing a Party in Austin and a week later, believe it or not, I was handed a Playboy. This Playboy in no way was a normal one to start with, the articles in it were interesting too. One stated "The Laws of Love." meaning no Gays allowed. Another was about the Lord of the rings, this told Me I was to be a Guitarist. I swear I browsed through that Magazine looking at every page in it, except for the article saying I had walked into the Party. While I was breezing through it I turned a page and it was a continuance of the main story, low and behold there is My name in print. I already knew it was about Me but I did'nt really care. The thing that really pisses Me off here is that I was set up with enough acid to destroy My mind, and once I was feeling the effects I was handed this Playboy and left alone. Buddy that Fucked My Life up. My mind has never been the same. I will not give up on justice, and the reason being is that I know it is obtainable if I find the right People to take charge. Again I would submit to a truth serum to prove My case. THank You for reading this, and pray that I prevail, Kelly.

A new Day

   To start with I wish to say thanks to all the Veterans out there, I still feel I made the mistake of not joining the Military when I was fresh out of school. Instead I became a damn Hippy. One that was so naive even My closest Friends thought it cute to screw with My life. My Family too. I was at My Grandfathers house doing something outside, when We finished My Dad wanted to go inside. I knew how My Granddad felt about long hair and said He would'nt want Me in there. Dad insisted and when We were inside My Grandpa sat with His back to Me and never said a word to Me. I realize it was all set up now. I finally cut My hair because of Him. My Family has a way of being cold to Me, but what does a Guy do? Disown Them? I am treated now in the nicest manner since I told the Folks off about the crap They pulling, even too nice to tell the truth. But it beats the Hell out of some of the crap They were doing. Well, enough of this junk for today. I hope You enjoy Your day out there, and everything is going good in Your life, sincerely, Kelly McGill.