Friday, July 3, 2015
God I hurt inside. "Don't hold it in it'll eat You up.". As I grow older the pain for this Woman intensifies immensely. I hurt Her and that tears Me apart inside. I said I cried for a year, during that time I thought I had a chance at finding Her. I put out a classified in the Austin American Statesman that read, Nancy where are You? I've come to My senses. My heart jumped when it was answered by a Gal, She was looking for a Female. I went to Austin and went through the old adds in the Library, I found one from that same time that read, "Broken hearted Woman wanting to dance His memory away.", this is extremely painful to put in writing here too. It's an unfair World I am the last Person that needs to be reminded of that. I still get the looks from Gals is the main reason I even live. For a Guy that weighs 235 and should be at 185 I do get Women's attention, to My surprise still. I have messed up teeth and I have lost a lot of hair to boot. On the other hand I have a good set of arms and My chest isn't all that small, I can see the definition in My abs as well. I drink too much beer for one thing, but I walk a lot and practice My speed of hand and foot. I may be a basket case, but dammit I have potential still at My age to make something out of it. Hell, I didn't ask to be a Dummy, nor did I inquire any acid back when it all started. Kelly McGill here saying have a grand fourth, and be careful out there, We have way too many People wanting to cause problems in Your life.
Thursday, July 2, 2015
I just quit My job, but the Boss talked Me into staying a while longer. I even told Him I had planned on quitting when the framing was done already. He talks to Me like I don't have a clue what I'm doing. He has been asking Me about the fire sprinkler crew and telling Me to get Them on the site for three weeks now, We don't even have a full floor for Them to finish so I don't want to bring Them out to partially finish it and leave. When He said I have to have some proof that I'm even talking to Them He asked what proof do I have, I told Him My word is My proof. He then started to say something about how My word isn't any good and I politely told Him how I felt about that and a few other things. His Brother and Him both try to treat You as a lesser Human Being in My eye. My first day on the job I saw how His Brother is, He had made a mistake and argued with the Superintendent on the job then. He told Him He doesn't fix things. Wow. Every Carpenter will make mistakes, some will get You canned quick too, but that is the first time I have heard one say He doesn't fix things. That just tells You how I feel about it. I told You before I was interested in Montana, so Billings is where I'm headed soon. If it weren't for the Owners of the building I am working on I would have already been gone, They're great Guys and I wouldn't want to stab Them in the back by leaving when the job is just now really starting to roll. One thing I will not be called, besides a Liar, is a Back Stabber, My name is not Rowley nor Pattison either one, I just won't do it.
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
I have it figured out, I am supposed to bean Author. I have started a few book ideas but have yet to finish any of them. My latest one I am sure will do good. I cannot tell You at this time what it's about, but I feel it has a good plot to it. What I need to do is get busy on it I know. A copyright is as easy as sending it in really, getting Someone to buy it is another. I am a copyrighted Musician and believe Me when I say that as fast as They get Your copyright to You there are already Companies sending You stuff. I had two companies contact Me quite a few times too. But the way They sounded I was leery, I even walked into a Lawyers office and showed the paper work to Him. It wasn't His field but He felt that one of Them may not be legitimate so I gave up on both of Them. In the first place They wanted money from Me. If They want My music I am sure They would be offering Me money instead. A book seems an easier way to go to Me. Again all I have to do is apply Myself. I have started around four stories but have yet to complete one. I used to get A's in a class called different perspectives because of My ability to come up with stuff, so I think I'll work harder on My new idea. Wish Me luck will Ya? Sincerely, Kelly McGill.
Monday, June 29, 2015
I am already tired of Seattle. I stayed away from My apartment all day Saturday and Sunday because of My neighborhood, the Gay parade was going on and there's no way in Hell I'm even going to be seen walking down the same street. Another thing is You can't park in a decent spot. You have to pay money to the City to even park on the street in front of Your house, knutts. I really can't stand the job much either. So I am looking into Billings Montana. I was checking it out before, I went there for Thanksgiving and liked the way Women are towards Me more than here. When I took on the job here I was really wanting out of Riverton Wyoming because that little town gets to Me after a while. Since graduating in '78 I have never stayed there as long as I did the last time. Usually after a year there I'm wanting to see something new. The pay isn't much lower than here in Billings, and the rent is much better. My main reason for even coming to Seattle is that I had never been here. I hope to see all of the U.S. before I die and now I've covered a part I had been wanting to see. Seattle is definitely one of those places that is a nice place to visit, but I sure as Hell don't want to live here. So onward I say.
Saturday, June 27, 2015
I refuse to call Children Men. You see it all the time where so Kid did something and They'll say "This young Man." or similar. A Man is in no way a Child, these People that tried to completely destroy My mind and are now out there screwing with My life are exactly the type I mean too. Richard Pattison is the same age as I, fifty five year old. Do You know that at this age They start calling You a senior Citizen? I can even get the discount in a lot of places, even though I never try. But I will not lie and call Myself a Grown Man, I am honest with Myself. I am way too old to be screwed with by Children like these. I've said it before "There are some things a Man just doesn't do." and that is a fact of life. I have been the Foreman on many crews since I was twenty three, that alone says that I'm not all that fucked up, damn glad I didn't do the ether, but I can make the stupidest mistakes. All I have ever really wanted in life was to keep My head above water, I've near drowned in that aspect. But now I am at an age I want a decent life, I had a fairly good start to be honest. I would enjoy having a life with no worries, but it never fails something always blocks My path. I was wandering through life so lost that I didn't even realize I missed middle age. I feel that is around thirty five and forty, seriously at that age I was truly lost. I told You about crying for a solid year, seriously I cried everyday. I attempted suicide then too. I still have a life that hasn't been able to really get His shit together, but I am a different Person now. I don't have the anger I used to have for one thing, I was "Mad at the World" to be honest, now I try to let it roll off My back. Enough said, have a great weekend.