I am serious

   "Richard Pattison, Killeen Texas!" from knowing Richard Pattison since High School I can see His influence. I can only prove that He is the same if Someone were to go to the '76 - 77 Riverton Wolverine's year book here in Wyoming and look at both of Us. He would have been there since I was in the ninth, '74 -75. Hey, this is a vicious crime to have a Person set out to alter Your mind in the first place. Screw with a Humans mind, I dare You to call it Mature.

Holy Hell Wyoming!

   I have a few choice words Tonight. "Are You a Man?", "Yes I am a Man!". "Why do You ask?", "If You need to ask!". I have said it before I have watched the Youth of America since I was three, being '63-'64 in Southern California. I grew up just nine miles from Huntington beach. Cops at times rolled down the streets saying to stay inside. The stories from the P.T.A. sponsored ticket sales at the Strawberry Festival were My Dad's. Riot's in the sixties were rare to Anybody from another part of the World. But I still fell for the dupe of, "Ya want a Buy some acid?". Then amazingly there is some Acid rock as it's know, Pink Floyd, sitting on the turntable. I was approached by this Bill Rowley about giving a "Place to stay.", this Kid was a Welder at the Mine's in 1980, He would have been making some cash then. I had this Kid even have Him move a bed into My bedroom so He's  have a bed too. This Kid, Bob Pace, or as a coat I even wound up with had the name Lapoca, that may be His name too. Well Bob had enough money to buy a serious Pioneer set up to boot. The night the acid was found at My door after bypassing the security gate that ruined the marriage Sheila was looking at. Hell that Girl and Nancy had the exact look in They're eyes. Kelly McGill telling You so.

a many future

   I just had to leave the title for Giggles and Shit's, I had no glasses on. Which in the reality of My mind is a saying I have made up, " Giggle's' and Shit's", in reverse of the latter being Giggle's of course., and leaving the extra comma, for yes I am a creative Child, As You have figured. Another one I mentioned is 'Paybacks are a Bitch.', deriving from "Paybacks are a Mother Fucker.". I cleaned it up for Sheila. I tell lies to get out of a ticket, but dammit, My jaw dropped when I saw My first Love. Kelly McGill saying for a fact that I was less then twenty years old at the Time. That was '79. Before I was twenty one I was a known as a mess. Most Parent's would kill knowing this about They're Children, Mine? I wonder. Riverton Wyoming where this all started is less than 11,000 in population, close knit.

No games here

    I am as honest as it comes. Yes I have a felony drug conviction but that in My mind does'nt make Me dishonest. A Thief I am not and that is a fact. As far as drugs go I say again it has been years since any use, I say for sure that I would pass a U.A. at this time too. I even gave a Friend a ride home recently and was asked to get stoned and I turned it down. I have no time for the crud Myself. At this point I just want to change My Life for the better. I insist on stating the fact that I was set up to make Me the way I am, and it is a sad thing to see these People getting away with it.

You need to know something

    I have mentioned Brian Foley a time or two. This is the type of People Richard Pattison hangs with. Brian showed up in Austin with some Black Fella one day. He tells Me They escaped from the San Antonio mental hospital. He was arrested for taking a pee on the court house I believe He said. A Cop beat Him up He told Me too. He had in His hand a .357 Mag. and was going to go back and kill Him He said. What I told Him was that the Cop had no right to beat Him and in return that He also had no right to take a Life over it. He understood and gave Me the gun. It was'nt long after that He was photoghraphed  in a tree on Campus at U.T., He was naked. I really do believe that this Character fakes most of His antics Myself, and I also feel He really is'nt stable. Richard just laughs about it Himself. And yet these People are allowed to Live a free Life. This Pattison Kid has two faces, I Myself don't like either one of Them.

Dignity

   I am not what is known as a dignified Person, meaning I can't respect Myself. I hurt so bad inside it's hard to believe that I live with the pain. Yesterday You read the writings of a Drunken Coward, for that is exactly what I am. My fate in Life is to be a Loser I guess. I read this morning about the assassination of the two Cops in New York, My condolences to the Families involved. I mention this due to the fact that I Myself am not that kind of a Person, to just kill another Human Being for no other reason then to do so is not My way. I said I have a possession of a controlled substance, less than a gram of cocaine. In Wyoming I am allowed to carry a concealed weapon if I want without even a permit, I have a black powder .44 under the seat of My pickup because of these types of Idiots. It is also a needed item when You go to the Mountains here, You hear every year where some Fool gets mauled by a Grizzlie Bear, Plus some tree hugger thought it wise to introduce Canadian Wolves into the area, now They are a dangerous Animal without fear of Humans. I say it straight when I say I will shoot a Cop killer without prejudice. Sincerley, Kelly McGill.

Few will understand

   I hurt for Nancy.

My kinda stuff

   Me? I would rather talk about Rabbit hunting Today. Esta Conejo con frio para Me comida, muy buen. I sure hope I got it right too.

Another Blog

   Here I am watching 'Dances with Wolves' when I understand something. It just may be what the Indians understood too. If these Assholes back in the 1800s had wanted to wipe Them out? It would have been too easy. I sure as Hell hope that Our Enemies don't see Us as easy Prey Today.

1 away from 1200

   Tonight I will hit 12000 page views. What that means is that People have looked at My page on Blogspot. Other then that I really do not know Who has looked at My Twitter account. There is a Country on the face of the Earth known as America, and I live upon it. That alone may be why I am ignored. The arrogance, set aside the ignorance, in which We live with daily, is astounding. My Family dates back generations itself. I do not recall if I told You about My far back Grandfather in the civil war. He was a Captain. He became shell shocked and was never the same. As far as fighting Indians, I have yet to be told. I know We have been in contact with the James Boys, in fact a Cousin is supposedly married to a direct decendent from Jesse. The truth be known My Uncle in the past was an Outlaw. We are the western history in which You People find interesting. The west has changed since the 1800s but dammit There are still crooks here too. All I seek is a chance.

8 away from 1200 pageveiws

   I retweeted the K.C. Police depts. tweet just to show some Folks how slow many of Us really are Here in America. I really do understand that They want to clean up this Land. We are being overrun and a solution is in order, also We are killing Ourselves from within.

One Hell of a Life

   Yes this is a real Life. I am a Person that has been through things very few will ever see. People just like to screw with a Kid like Me. Like the time in Cheyenne a few years back, I spent four months in Jail on an accusation. I was the one that found the discrepancy in the Police report that set Me free. I speak of wanting to take the Lives of these People that tried to utterly destroy My Life because They could, if I were a horrible Person that just wanted to kill Everyone that messed with Me I would have went after that Doctor. I am not sure if I explained what happened then. I called the Police and tried to explain about Richard Pattison and that I wanted to go to the mental institute so I could prove My sanity, I was drunk. After sitting in the E.R. for some time I sobered up a bit and decided I was going to leave. Two Male Nurses grabbed Me when I sat up and told Them I just wanted to go. They forced Me down and tied Me to the table I had been lying on. They left Me there for a long spell too. When the Police finally arrived They told Them I had hit the Doctor. In the Police report I had kicked Her on Her right side. Then when I read what She had said I supposedly kicked Her on the left side. Luck? I have none known as good.

How does a Fella win?

   In all seriousness I really do need to ask how to win. I show My ignorance daily Folks. Today I was told by the Owner of the company to attend a business luncheon, where I did fine. But afterwards I was talking to one of the representatives for one of the Subs and said something like, 'We was' where it should have been without saying We were. You work with People They rub off in My case. It's a 'Rez' thing to say aintit, and that is not a typo. Aintit is the way it sounds. All this proves is that I am a slow Person to People hearing it. Which in turn says it all, I am what I am. Richard Pattison knew this too and used it to His advantage. They knew I was too dumb to say no to the drugs I was being set up with. Again, the first time I did it there was music set up right where I would find it, very obvious looking back now. Another thing is that the only way into the building where I lived was through a security door, Freda knocked on My door when She brought the acid by. And now They are allowed to mess with Me? No true Adult would allow such nonsense. It is no wonder that People in the World want to kill Americans. No joke Folks, I moved out of the Cities due to the way things are going. Wake Your asses up!

Hopelessness

   As I said Yesterday it is nearing four whole years since I started this. A lot has happened in the World and America since then, it just shows how rapidly things happen. Like when I met Nancy, I went from a Kid that was brave enough with the Women to get phone numbers but now I shy away from fear of rejection and knowing I have the ability to scar Women with My screw up way. Their are People out there that willingly try to do harm to Others because They think They're right. Look around and see the craziness going on Today. They are actually trying to change Christmas even, leave People be. It's a Child's holiday for Christ sake, leave it be. In America We are supposed to have the right to believe in what We want, being it Atheism, Christianity, or even the Muslim beliefs We are supposed to accept it. But when You seek out ways to destroy the other You are not welcome in the eyes of America as a whole. I understand that I cannot speak for Everyone, but I know People and most just want to leave People alone. For years I have heard that "People just don't want to get involved" that allows the rotten ones to do more because of that attitude. I told You tat I saw on Americas most wanted an attempted armed robbery of an armored truck, the composite drawings were the exact match to three People I know in Texas. The guard got the jump on Them and jumped into the truck and They sped off. John Lucas owned at the time the exact gun They were using too, a mini m-14. He looked even in the re enactment to be shooting above the heads of the Guards, which would be John. I never said anything because They did'nt get away with any money and did'nt kill Anyone, I was wrong to do so. I even told John His face matched the drawings, as did Rodney Douglas and Tim Pruedom's. I was working for Lucas acouple years later when My lug nuts became loosened, that was when I called the F.B.I. in Austin and left a message about Them. They don't deserve to walk around free but I allowed it, never again.

Almost four years now

   It seems I am shunned. That People don't even give a damn about Me.

REALITY!

   I really have no respect for the title, it is disrespectful. No Man needs, nor is told such things. The problem is, I need to get My point across. I am crying My heart out heart. I admit to My faults People. I have told You about crawling into bed with a Girl after Bill Rowley and Ralph McMillan had had Their way with Her. The thing I recently thought about is this, I undressed crawled into bed, was accepted, and then She said, "Oh, You're not Bill!", and then I left the room. As I said before the Kid was there the next day lounging all over Me. When I just sat there She thanked Me and left. A set up? I insist that this Bill Rowley Kid was no Friend. Anybody that would set up a Friend that would go out of His way to help a Friend is no Friend at all, fact. I cry due to My Life, while They enjoy the spoils. Again I say, no Man would allow Their game. I told My Sister that Bill would be lucky if I did'nt shoot Him. I really do doubt My Families sincerity, Kelly.

Tweet 1000

   I said the Boss , George is a Man, I was wrong. This seventy year old screws with People. I understand that He has an agenda, but to lie to His Foreman's to create turmoil? It has been a few months since He told Me and another top Carpenter that We are about to be run off due to the lack of progress. The when alone He tells Me He's just pushing the Crew. Folks I live in a community where rumors abound. George is known and respected here. I have felt the feelings coming from the Person next to Me, a Native American that kept trying to but Me drinks Tonight, that I felt when I was robbed in Louisiana, I turned down drinks. There may be no connection between Richard Pattison and this, but money talks.

Age is catching up

   My body aches are showing My age. My Chiropractor told Me in '94 or so that I have arthritis in My lower back, now My fingers hurt like Hell was or twice a month to the point I can't grasp anything. What I am saying here is that I am running out of gas. From what I am seeing now I was supposed to be the one that was helped out in Life. If You knew the Foley Boy's You'd agree they are too much of a waste to offer anything to, but I can gaurantee Richard Pattison would do so. It is an odd Person this Richard, and very undeserving. I was just some Kid They knew They could walk all over and They did so. Those are the types of People that deserve nothing less than a good ass kicking. I hope to Hell They get Theirs soon because I am tired of it all.

When?

   The question I ask is when will I win? All My Life I have been a Loser. My Dad's nickname for Me was Charlie Brown to beat all. I tell it straight when I say that I feel like ending My miserable Life often, so give a poor Slob a chance. I am not a Pervert that does things to People, I am just a lost soul dragging Himself through Life with a broken heart.

I live a Life

   Here I am the Foreman on a big job, it in reality is a farce. I am over around fifteen People, most I refuse to call Men. The Arapaho Nation need seventy five percent Nationals on the Job, get Them to show up on time and put in a real days work. I hate the Boy's now. They try to walk all over You too. I have bitten a few heads off already. Even this Morning I had a Hand that I told He had to rework something, His reply was that He's just go Home. My reply? Go. I really do disrespect People that think They're better than You. The Owner of the Company even said that They hate Me for being a Badass that runs circles around Them, which I knew. Spoiled little Kid's are all around in America, Race means nothing. But I have witnessed over the years some races try harder. What this means in the long run is that I can quit any day. I will not put up with crap in which I am angry all the time. To make a long story short, People push this to the point where I am fighting pissed.

common sense

   I am the first to admit to My faults, and common sense is one. In the first place drugs would have never been introduced. Another? I would be married to Sheila. Hugh Hefner contacted a Child.

Help has to be out there

   I can understand that People would think this is a farce but I am a real Person. I feel hopeless at times seeing nothing being done. I am serious when I say that I walked into the U.S. Marshals office in Cheyenne Wyoming. The Man I talked to when entering sent Me to the U.S. Attorneys office. All I accomplished was pretty much the same as I am doing here, I filled out a paper They gave Me but not the way a normal Person would. I wrote on the back how I was writing this stuff and They needed to look at it. My reason being is that I really am an emotionally destroyed Life. I am not just saying so either. I know Myself well, I would break down in front of Them. What I am saying is I cry very easy. I understand it says I am messed up, but that is what I have been saying all along. All I want in Life is a chance. I have had a few before but I was worse then I am at the present. In the nineties I was so lost I still wonder how I survived. I had My shirt tied My neck while in Jail but could'nt finish the job, I put away My .44 Mag. because I was seriously tempted, I hurt so bad in 2001 I grabbed My Buck knife and came close to cutting My own throat, and once I drove through the thick fog like a crazy Man hoping to end My Life in a wreck. Today I look back and see how My Life was and it is scary. My words when I awake each day, and I mean daily, are I hate this Life. Again I never asked for any acid back in the eighties, but it sure as Hell was there.

An honest Soul

   The only thing I have accomplished in My Life thus far is becoming an Honest Person. Not saying I won't steal to eat, but I won't lie. Even with a felony record, a small amount of cocaine, I am an honest Person. This means I never hit an old Lady in the head just to get high, which is an average saying too. I am a Person willing to take it to the extremes, I just hope that it never comes to that. I admit that I went to the streets of Santa Monica looking for this Richard Pattison and I came to My senses enough that I never made it to Wenachie Washington to take Bill Rowley, but I scare Myself when I think of My capabilities. I sure as Hell hope that I have an Officer out there that takes this serious.

In My mind

    If People could see the reality of the Grown mind. It is a fact of Life that it changes You, I Myself have been through it. Even though some remain Children Others are shocked into growth upon witnessing the difference. I Myself? I am a rare Being, I am stuck in a World You would call Insane. Look hard at a Grown Adult, the aires Themselves will amaze Children.

I insist on justice

   I still wonder if this is even worth My time.

Today

   I cannot understand some People. Like the Architect on Our job. He draws it in a sketchy manner and then says find it Yourself. I have said for years that I dislike Architect and Engineers for a reason. It is His job to draw it out so a Man can follow it, not do as You please. This arrogance is what We deal with in the field, They get paid enough to look down on Us Peons. I say it now that I will not lay out another thing without proper drawings, I moved enough Today. The thing is, I can screw it up and then fix it faster than many can do it once, really. I say this just to show You how People are. I have a set of plans in My truck that are so scares on the measurements it is outrageous.

No joking matter

   I want to explain My anger of recent years. I am working with a piece of F.R.P. paneling and struggling with it. The cuss words I was using would curl the ears of some. Some Kid in the other room thought it funny that I was so pissed about it, My words were, ' If You're laughing at Me I'll knock You plumb the Fuck out!', there was no reply. It was purely unprofessional on My part and uncalled for too. Even Richard Pattison and Bill Rowley know Me better then that. I was a Kid that was walked all over with a soft attitude towards it, many of You out there would have been in a lot of fights if treated the way I was in Life, Me? I let it roll off My back like a Coward does. The difference being is I knew I would hurt People bad and stayed away from it. As I say I sent the first Kid I fought to the Hospital with a crushed nose. It's easy to prove too, Ray Joe Lewis went to the Stanton California Hospital in 1962, or '63 with a messed up nose. I still try to walk away, but dammit when Kids piss Me off I lose it. I hate it later too.

I am Real, Dammit!

   Here I sit in bleeding My heart out and nothing. Bill Cosby is a perfect Gentleman and yet He is picked out. I do not condone His actions, if convicted. I bring this Person up just to show You one thing, even Bill Cosby can be an Animal. These People did what They did and that is a fact. I have stated repeatedly that I have only the proof of Other's, therefore I am at the mercy of the few involved. Fat chance there.

My next blog

  Again I am trying to at least talk like an Adult, the main reason being I am sick of this Child's Life that I live. "Stop trying to be a Man!", I remember from when I was small, so I understand what I am doing here. "You call Yourself a Man?", is another. I do understand that these sayings are meant to change the Youth of America, We have had these Children thinking They know better since before I was born. I look at the events going on in America Today and wonder about it's chance's, I feel We'll prevail with the right moves on the Military's part, other then that I fear for Our future. I speak as a damn Kid, and that's from the heart.

Justice?

   I am a firm believer in justice where it is needed, and this is one instance it is in dire need. I tell You how rotten My life has been in order find sympathy, I know it is not what most People believe in. People in America don't want to hear about Someone else's problems I understand that. But I do have this Life and I want justice in a serious way. I tell You that I want to take the Lives of these People involved, that is the truth. I fear the thought of doing so though. All My Life I was a non violent Kid, now I have a rage inside of Me. "Don't hold it in it will eat You up inside.", is the truth. With that said I will end by wishing You a Happy Holiday season.

The stages of Life

   I see Myself as a Youngster going through the phases of Life. I actually want to talk to You People in a rational manner. Not only for the fact that it will attract Your attention, but I do see Myself. Here I am a "Clod" on the Planet, Damn it. I am a Victim of innocence to say the least. I was slack jawed looking at Sheila, and the truth is the only difference between that and the look I showed Nancy was the dropped jaw. It is a painful Life Folks.

A Life, Mine.

   This is absurd. I continue to talk about how these People are guilty, but no justice. I do understand, and want You to know the same, that it takes time. At an early age I stared at Sheila, My future Wife, with My jaw dropped. She is honest, She will say I did so. Just as Nancy would say I stared at He body in '82. I have to push the issue that I am an ignorant Child that took a thump on the head at the age of two that triggered something. It is not all as bad as it seems, I see beyond many. But yet?

As I learn

  I see Myself as a Child to this day, and I am fifty four years old. I completely understand that Men respect Men, and I am a Child in Their eyes, therefore a Human being unworthy. If I had control over My Life I would shock most of You with My feelings beyond Your realm of understanding. I just wish You could see beyond Your youth, You would be amazed. I Myself truly want to speak to You as a Full Grown Man, it is beyond My ability, for I am just a Kid. Hardships change a Kid, I have had it tough, but not tough enough to make Me a Man. What I have to say Tonight is, if You disrespect My honesty and honor these People You are an innocent Child in the first place. I do not laugh at this Life, I live through Hell. To be honest I am trying to be more of an Adult from here on out, such is My growth. Kelly.

I nearly forgot

 I had to come back Tonight just for this. Hey, I am a Loser. I ran into a Kid I know in Town here, He had two Gal's with Him. After talking to Him for a spell I turned to talk with one of the Girls, The reaction I received was disgusting, I can only explain it by saying She had a look that read, "You're  a piece of dirt.", the sad thing is I have seen this numerous times over the years. I Myself, I walked away. Girls, there are those that would stalk You and kill Your arrogant behinds. Kelly McGill is not one. Nancy's look was nowhere near this hard, but She had a hard look, right before She fell in love with a Kid.

Hide the facts

   I am so honest I say I jacked off in front of Laura Chiles. Excuse the blatantness it is rude. In fact I even excuse Myself when I cuss in front of Women. Bill Rowley would be an excellent Witness to My manner years ago, I cussed rarely. Now? I have a foul mouth to an extent.  Hey, there are married Gal's around town chasing Me, and yet I sleep alone. Does this tell You I am a Dip shit or what, there is one that has been trying to seduce Me for years around here.

I am at loss

  I was blind sided, and now it's funny? In reality I can see My own Boss, Garth Yeates, laughing at Me. I said I trust Him but I wonder. Here  am the Boss of a Job I know nothing about, I feel I am being set up for a fall. I Myself know that I will screw up, just how big? I have the shot. There are Employees ahead of Me that I would have put in charge, They seem to have a care less then a Man. What am I involved with. I am scared I am set up for a fall Myself. Most of You need to understand, this is a very small town, less than 11,000 reside here. It would be easy to spread the wealth and hide the facts. I fear that My own Family is involved.

Help!

  I play no Kid's game in the first place. "There's always someone else that has it tougher Then You.", Tonight I saw such a Person. I was watching a show where a Woman was continuously raped by a Doctor, She shot Him. The next move was She was sent to the electric chair. After months in Prison She went insane. therefore She was sent to the institute. I saw Myself as having it easy compared. The show had Others, after watching I felt Their feeling, Personally. Murder is a reality People, what scares Me is that I have the same feelings after watching such shows. When You feel this You sense People watching You too.

Wow!

   Hey! I completely understand what is going on in the World. I lie. If I had complete comphrehension? Hell I'm lost. Nancy put Me on My ear, fact, same as Sheila. This gives cause to mess with Me in the mind of Richard. I have to reiterate from the previous evening, I accused Garth Yeates of a connection, that Boy has done some growing, I cannot see Him as a vicious soul. I am His, around fourth in command, Boss. Garth is a realist so far. The others I mention?

Yes I am honest

  Who would believe a Guy that say He was set up with His own Playboy. The proof is out there. It is buried deep.

I am dangerous

   The title speaks it all.

Full Grown

   Excuse the writing Tonite, My glasses are at the job site. Everything's a bit blurry. I wonder about the Company I even work for to tell the truth. Here I am the assistant Superintendent on the job, I feel I am unworthy. There are others that have been with the Company for years. The thing is, most of these Fools seem to not give a damn, and They have held Their jobs for years. I worked for a Company a long time ago named Style Homes, My Boss worked there too, along with a lot of Friends of Richard Pattison, Bill Rowley and many others. What bothers Me is the fact that these People are worthless in My eye, but still have Their jobs. I would have fired half the crew. I have seen John Lucas do that exact thing in Virginia, what a difference it made. It seems to be a joke to the American Public that I am this Person, do You People completely understand that We are under attack due to You arrogance. Good God! I put it writing right here adn now, I would shoot Richard Pattison in the face and end His Life if I knew where He was Today. Mark Schosta is added to the list of Cronies. If I missed spelled the last name. He works for the local gas company. I do see there game, "We work and earn Our money.".  Me? Screw Kelly

The Western way

   I am truly surprised at how some Americans think. I was working in Indianapolis with a crew out of Texas. I was the framing Super for the first time then, that was in 1987. I also was doing some sub contract work on the Job. All of a sudden this Kid working for Me asked, "What part of Texas is Wyoming in anyways?", I told Him He was fired, that I did'nt want some Dumbass working for Me. I actually had yo explain where Wyoming is. The moral of the story is, I aint the only Dipshit in America.

Good Morning

   I had to write this while it's still fresh in My mind. I think I finally figured out why My Sister Lois was a vicious little Girl. We were at a Cousins house when one of the Sheila Walthers said She was going to beat My little Sister up. It was a reaction to grab Her and pull Her away. What happened was I fell backwards on the bed and Penny, My Sister, was on top of Me. Before I could let Her go She was hit in the stomach a few times. She was lucky I did have a hold of Her, Her muscles were pulled tight and it did'nt knock the wind out of Her. Hell I was trying to protect the Kid.

"Mean People suck."

   Finishing Yesterdays topic. This same Person kept up with His crap. I held Myself together when He started more crap too, I felt like chopping Him in the throat.

Manana?

  We'll see what Tomorrow brings. As far as Today? Here I am walking up to the crain Operator talking to a Hand of Ours, this Fool a starts acting like He wants to play fight, His strength was unsuspected too, plus My arm feels the difference, He was close to real pain. Me? I called the office and left a message telling Them I walk away, leaving Myself open for His next move. The thing is, this Fella has been raising caine about Our Company for months, and now He's finishing the project. I have had enough. The thing is, My elbow hurts. I really want to show this Ass. Ask People that really know Me and You'll understand Me, I walk away. But when a Person causes harm just to do? I have a genuine hatred. I left a message relating to this with the office. We'll talk later about it. I hate Kids that fuck with You Folks.

At My age?

   To be honest, and a fact I hate to admit too, My sex Life has been, well? My last serious date was in 1982, right after I hurt Nancy. Insane? You do not live until You hurt. Pain will make a Person know They are alive.

"The luck of the Irish."

   Yep, I am an unlucky Bastard. I mentioned how My first memory in Life was being given a Puppy, I never remembered playing with it or having it around either, the next time I saw it it was mean. During that same time I remember being bitten by a Girl on the block and climbing up a ladder that sent Me to the hospital, but no Dog. At the age of three I was given a toy pistol and holster. I played fast draw daily, even after I got My right hand stuck in a garage door spring and had to draw left handed. My Parents took it and put it in the hall closet. I remember asking My Sister Kay if She'd get it down for Me but She said no. I was given a trike by My Grandpa, this trike was bigger then normal and I know it would be worth something now, it too disappeared. From around the fifth grade until High School I continuously had to listen to My oldest Sister scream at Me. And to top it off I had My best Friend stab Me in the back and screw My life up. Now They mess with a slow Kid in a manner I cannot tolerate, nor would any Man. And You wonder why I want to take a trip to Wenachie Washington?

"I demand respect!"

   Why are these Boy's allowed to do whatever They please?

The hard facts

   I just want to say this, I felt so bad Today I contemplated suicide again. The one thing that actually keeps Me alive is the fact that I swear I will kill this Bill Rowley when I take My own Life. That dirty son of a Bitch had better count His blessings that He's nowhere near Me right now for I am completely capable of doing it. I say this not only to get a reaction, I WANT THESE PEOPLE IN JAIL NOW!!!!!

'Shut the fuck up!'

   Kelly? I worked with a Fella a few years back here in Wyoming, He passed away a few days ago. This is one of those stories where You wish You could take back what You said. Me and another Worker had pulled up 34 ft. 12 ga. steel by rope all day long, Ira shows up and jumps Our ass for doing it the easy way when We did what the Bosses Son told Us to do, let the lift do the work, We were doing it the soft way that time. We were doing it the hard way because it was easier then lowering the lift every time. When Ira said We were doing it the hard way I bit His head off. The thing is, He raises Hell all the time to begin with and had got on My nerves then. This is a time when You can say the last time You saw a Person You had foul words. R.I.P. Ira. 

I still have to try

   I hate Life and that is a fact that I deal with daily. They say People kill Themselves to rid Their Lives of the pain They're in, I suffer through it. I tell a story of being handed a Playboy, if I had'nt lived through it I doubt if I would believe such a story Myself. I told of even walking up to the gates of the Playboy  mansion, I am sure I was being filmed while I did so. I understand totally that You need real evidence that all of this took place, if in fact You were to do something about it. Even the fact tat They flat out say things on the air does'nt prove that it's My Life They are messing with. So all I can say is that it is a fact and I have no real proof. My only hope would be if one of Them decided to become a Grown Man and admit to Their crime. Myself? It would eat Me up inside knowing I had done something like that to another Human Being. I mentioned that a Guy named Danny was there the night We wound up at the Marriott, if He's still alive He may be the one to help. I think I told You about giving Him My old Wyoming drivers licence when I got My Texas one. He told Me He used it to change His name. All He did was to rearrange a few things but kept the Kelly McGill part the same. I was even taken into a back room at the D.P.S. department on Lamar in Austin and shown His picture and asked about it a few years later. The Kid was from Florida if that helps. If I have'nt made it clear enough I want these People bad. You do not seem to understand how mad I am right this moment. Kelly.

Richard who?

   Wyoming is real Folks. Here it is sixty degrees Sunday, three inches of snow on Monday and - degrees Today. Wow! In 1978 it never got above -30 for a month straight, that was when I had Laura leave My dumb ass. I just wish She'd a told Me We were through, I sure as Hell would have never went to Mississippi after Her. But what does a Kid do when He has no sense, "Well if You need to ask?". "Shit stinks!", is all I can say.

When?

  I sit here and cry, that in itself would have Me looking into what it is that some Fool is saying. I Myself look at things with a grain of salt, the reason being is that there are a lot of Kid's in America that think it's funny to mess with People. Do You Dumb Asses realize, I know the answer, that You are a real disgrace. I Myself can call My Life a disgrace for even being a Fool in My opinion, but I sure as Hell will not screw with Your Life. Bob Carrol, Clint McGill and Javiar Morales can tell You that when I screw with You it's right in front of You and jamming it down Your throat that You are in fact a Kid that needs told. I mentioned before that I was going totally mad, those are the reasons. I truly hate some People in America, and They think it's funny. My Nephew Clint was one. To this day He tells Me that I made Him grow up. I hated that Kid. He came around as some Kid that had nowhere else to turn. A Gang banger that knew it all, I fucked with Him hard. The thing is, I did it to His face, not in a game manner either, I wanted to slam the Boy. What I tell Him is that He changed His own Life. Now the Kid's got His two Sons to raise, and doing a respectful job too. I lie not when I say I hate the American Youth and the way They think Their shit is without a smell.

Paranoid?

  Yes I can say I am paranoid. Here I am getting out of the shower when I hear a crash at My back door. I had a gun in hand quick too, the plaster caved in.

Tough as nails

   Bah! Here I am practicing an X block, and messing it up too, when I here a voice behind Me asking if I'm dancing. Damn! I was heart broken again. When I say so it has no comparison to Nancy and Sheila, They hurt bad, and still to this day are uncomparable. Excuse the spelling. But We walked on until Her ride picked Her up, another loss in My opinion. She was a knock out from what I got a chance to see. The only chance I have in Life is to teach, and I did so Tonight. I know enough to not try the block down low, it is taught as a leg break if done right too. But You totally drop Your guard against an uppercut to the snoz. I was practicing both and seeing I was'nt getting it high enough when I heard a voice from behind. She finished Our conversation, including introductions from across the street. Really. Such is Kelly's luck. No joking matter too.

Enough said

   I have cried while doing what I do here. I have contemplated suicide. I have thrown everything I own away to find Richard. And yet nothing? A Garote was thought of. Which I do know how to use too. You put Your knee in Their back and cross the wire around the neck. It will decapitate the Person You are attacking. Do not put Your fingers in the way They too will be cut off. In that manner You have no defence if done right. I may have no Military back ground, My mistake, but I study everything I can find. Like the old Gentleman in a black belt mag. said, "Let the fear cross Your face Then kick 'em in the knee" He said He fought in San Francisco with the Gangs and never lost. Hello!

Screwed up Youth

   Hey! You Dumb Fucks out there! DRUGS KILL DAMMIT! Wow! This Fool says so! "Damn Kids anyhow". Wise? If I were I would not be living My Life. In the World Today People want to kill Your silly asses, but yet You allow this crazy ass kid shit to continue? Damn!

Bar Fly

   I spent some time at Fort Hood as a Cab Driver, You start to feel for the Soldiers. Tonight a Soldier was buying beer, it cost Me twenty plus. I am not a band wagon jumper, I recognized the pattern of His camo, even in Riverton Wyoming, and paid for His beer. I was there when Nadal killed People. I say it a lot that I messed up and never joined the Military, but dammit I support the effort. As an American I see what is going on.

I lie not

   How in the World do You allow these People to do what They do and get away with it?

Abnormality

    "Birds of a feather flock together" that was the reason Bill Rowley and Richard Pattison are such good Pals, their both pieces of crap that think They're smarter then some slow Kid. Well in actuality They really are, but that really is'nt saying a whole lot. I just wish I could run into one of Them on the streets, I can say for a fatc tat I would wind up in Prison for the rest of My Life. Knowing that afterwards I am sure I would end My Life too.

Normal?

   Here I am telling the crane Operator to lift His load, it was in a bind and the Kid realized it but kept going. The next thing I knew was it jumped two feet, missed cutting all of My fingers off by less then inches. The sickening feeling was overwhelming, I went for a beer. I played the lottery.

I can only keep trying

   I notice My daily readers are dropping, that I am sure is because I talk about the same things all the time. I really am at a loss on how to keep it interesting, but I am not here to be entertaining. Christ when I think of Nancy I feel such incredible pain. I was working in Corpus Christi when I was racked so bad I grabbed My Buck knife and came so close to cutting My throat that it scared the Hell out of Me. Again I would rather not talk about it, but I feel People need to see how rotten My Life has been even without these Jerks helping Me along with My misery. "I hide My pain in My anger", and I am one mad Mother too.

The story of My Life.

   I understand that I may not be the worse Life there is, but I bet money I hurt more than most inside. The feelings I am suffering through are written on My face. If You have ever seen the show "The Mentalist" You would have seen the look on the face of the Gal that plays the cop, that Woman has felt some pain. You know by the frown She wears on Her face. I am glad to see that after a while She smiled a lot more though. My Family is a hard one too as I have said, My Aunt Phil dies and the way They made Her face look at the funeral is disturbing, She had that frown. I am dead serious too, that is how They are. Like the time My Dad flat out said to Me, "You must know what You're looking for.", cruel People that They are. Why I even come around Them  I wonder. I really would'nt put it past Them to have told Bill Rowley that it was alright to do what They did. That is hard to really believe, but the way They are I'm not sure about Them. Well I think I'll go cry Myself to sleep, good night.

HARD ASS KID

   Excuse the capital letters, but GOD DAMMIT ALL!!!!!!

This sucks

   I really have to say something Tonight, just like I have before, because I cannot let it go. It is not a normal Person that jacks with My life in the manner in which Richard does. And I say again that no Man would allow His nonsense. This Kid is a Joker that needs to be locked up. As the saying goes I am not doing this for My health. Rough Life? You bet Your ass it is, and I sure as Hell did not need these People messing with My Life just to make it harder.

I write again

  What I have to say has more bearing on the Planets future than Children will comprehend. We have Enemies among Us, Who are They? What frightens Me is You will not be able to distinguish what Asshole needs shot, unless He/She is firing upon You first, which could be too late by then. So watch Your ass.

I am read?

   I am appreciative when I see that Someone is actually reading this stuff. I am an honest hard working stiff and I have really lived this mess. I see more then a lot of the Kids when it comes to Grown Adults, but I have to admit I don't know jack to be truthful. The feelings are rare too be straight up. It can be years between seeing a Full Grown feeling emit from a Human. I know there are many People out there that will understand what I am saying too. I want so bad, and this is from the heart, for the Youth of the World to see Grown. When You do You change, and this is a known fact from People ahead of You. A Young Man's feeling can confuse the Young, "I feel like a Man, I am Grown.", but in reality You have just cracked the egg, it needs some cooking before it's fried. Call Me a Liar and You'll show Your youth to be sure. For I learned things so long ago You would be amazed. Things like I have mention before, such as, "I'm the first one to admit to it.", "Face up to the facts of Life.", "Childish nonsense.", "God Damn Kid's!", and so much more it would astonish the Youth. My name is Kelly and I speak out, grab a hold of what I say.

Slow Sucker.

  Depends? Yes I am about to buy some. Here I sit talking to a Woman, one I do not remember meeting even though She knew Me, Damn Drunk again, when I have to pee. Well in this Bar there is only a one stool restroom, I have done the pee dance there before too. I really had no inclination to be romantic, but Dammitt when You pee Your pants You leave the Bar anyhow. That My Friends is exactly ow My Life is. What really bothers Me is that I am supposed to live a different life Than I do, and these People turned Me into what I am. I admit to being a dumb Kid and breaking Nancy's heart without even understanding I was doing so, which in the eyes of a normal Human would be enough to seek justice for the crime's committed......... Kelly Here saying this is absurd to allow these People. I have had just about enough, I really want to kill these Bastards.

Childsplay

   My God, I try again. If People that know Me knew what the Hell I am doing Here They would look at Me a bit different for damn sure. But I must continue. Do You understand that I was set up for a fall from the beginning? This Richard Pattison is so arrogant He sees Himself as untouchable. A fact is a fact, no Man would do, nor would He allow such nonsense. What I see Myself as here is a joke to Richard, that pisses Me off more than a normal Person could realize. I see Myself as a Moron, because I am one People. Nancy? God that hurts. But it proves the Boy was blind as a Child, I am still a bit near sighted. But Hey, the bad Boy's win because Children think it's cool, grow the fuck up. I do understand that My manner of bringing this to Your attention may have something to do with My being ignored, but dammit I am pissed. Do Your God Damn job and bring these Assholes down. Kelly.

Give Me the chance I deserve

   These People are horrible Children and that's all there is to it. I demand a response. I have told You repeatedly how I feel about Them and I play no Kid's game. These People deserve a bullet in the head.

Bad People that They are.

   I am wondering about the People in charge of this Country. You actually allow this nonsense to continue? Do You want a taste of My anger? The other night I was sitting in a Bar when two Gay Guy's walk in, I went off. I cannot stand those sick People and I will not tolerate Them around Me. I am now 86ed out of My own Cousins Bar, the fist for Me ever. The main reason is I cussed Her out for some crap She pulled to get the Bar. I have some rotten eggs in My Family tree. Enough said for Tonight, I will return.

Dead to rights

    I have these Fello's looking pretty bad. But yet I suffer with the game They play.

Today

    Well, how is it that Richard Pattison and Bill Rowley are allowed to walk the streets like They were normal. These are not normal People by far. No normal Person would set a Person up with enough acid to cause serious damage to another. Yes I do have brain damage. I'm just damn glad like I said that I did'nt do the ether I was asked to do. Smart? I have never been really intelligent. I Myself am surprised that I had an I.Q. of 165 on the test I was given My senior year in school. I even took one of those computer I.Q. tests, I scored at 135 I believe and I had a slow start. I am the Boss because I am able to do My job faster than a lot of Others out there, and I know how to handle the Boy's on the job too. Well, I just had to say something Today. I am at My wits end trying to take these People down Folks, I am at a point where I really want to end it all but cannot do so.

This stuff smells!

   I write again? With no glasses this time. Dammit, what else can I do? I have been refraining from writing about how these People do what it is that They do, it's boring to Me. All I need is a helping hand to be honest, it's like a saying I heard Years ago "He just needs Someone to pick Him up and dust Him off." and that was from a young Woman. I have a serious question for the youth of America, meaning Anyone under Fifty, do You even look at Yourselves? I do know better than to ask, but You need to be asked. My reasoning? Well Tonight I went to a nearby Bar that serves food, a rarity in Riverton Wyoming too, and while eating I just naturally listen to the People around Me, People are damn lucky I had four Sister's and no Brother's, My temper was put on hold. You People in America like to screw with Other's, grow. Men and Women do not mess with People, WHY ON EARTH DO THEY GO OFF AND KILL YOU? Me? Not even. If I were to go off and become a Murderer Bill Rowley would be My first, that would be easy I know where He is. Bill's the kinda Kid that thinks He's smarter than He is, just like Richard Pattison. I Myself happen to see through the falseness of such People. I may be an Idiot when it comes to love, but dammit I know the difference between maturity and immaturity.

Wow, I write this crap.

   For the past two days I have felt so rotten inside hat Life is what is known as a "Drag.". I feel crap because Life is a cruel thing to many. Too rip the heart of a Woman while She cries in pain is devastating. I am the victim of innocence. Hell as Laura Chiles called Me I was happy go lucky, now I feel so God damn bad inside it is amazing I suffer through it. Rough week huh? And to think it's only Monday. The way things are going I wonder about My survival, I was told the other day that I am in charge of the crew. This crew is nothing I want any part of to be honest, a lot of knotheads. I am the only white Person besides the Owner and His Son, it's not a discrimination thing either, the Casino is Arapaho and They require so many White's, that's Me. The Owner told Me They were asking about His White Boss's. Rough job, They already hate this Fool. At least the one's that have been there for years, all of a sudden I'm the Boss. Well, I show up Everyday and on time and I am a Carpenter with more experience. And I have been a Foreman since I was twenty three. Grown Men deal with it even if They don't like it. I sure as Hell care for the situation very little Myself, But I'm kinda stuck where I am for the time being. We'll I have to say, I am smiling right now. Believe it or not this lifted My spirits a bit. Have a good one Folks.

At least I am honest

   "Honesty is a virtue.", I am disgusted right now at what is taking place. Not only with this crap I write, We are a Country that has many more problems than My own. I really do not see an end to the insurgence of People coming in soon. This is a serious mistake in American history. We allow new blood to enter daily, good and bad. The future holds a mystery as it always will, looking at Ours I am left wondering about the Inhabitants of this land. It truly is depressing.

Damn the dumb luck

   Talk about Your unlucky Bastards. The Love's I have suffered for alone say enough about My Life. But I was approached in a bold manner. After seeing to it that I was wasted I was handed a Playboy. I really had no desire to even read about the "Stoned Hippy" that crashed a party of upper class. I was talking to a Woman when I lost control and said 'It was just a few months ago when I was sleeping on that job, and now here I am', I really said that too. Where the heck was I? Those Boy's had Me so messed up that I knew I was going to be a Rock & Roll Star. A Gullible Kid that has'nt much sense from the start is east Prey. I said I split Bill Rowley's head open with His own guitar, the next day I went from Austin Texas to Colton California with $.37 in My pocket. When I was loading My backpack I picked up that Playboy and thought about taking it along, I threw it on the ground and walked away from it. All I had to do was read it? God I'm dumb.

The Web?

   Here I have been down for days due to some unforeseen  reason. I call Charter and raise Hell with the recording long enough to where I am connected to an Agent. First thing this Kid did was to blurt out "Low Life's", I actually got My rare chance to play You game too. I cannot recall exactly what My response was, but it is recorded with Charter. What I am getting at here is, My computer is faster then ever for some reason. No waiting for this and that. It just might be the results of 'Get Me a Fucking Human' over and over until the computer gives in. I never really understood until now that when They say that You will be recorded They mean during the recording so They can filter the Assholes. Hang up after being on hold for a spell and call 'em right back with the same pissed off attitude and watch. A job in My opinion means to do Your job, not to judge. Same goes for Whomever need to be told.

599th post

   Well? What else can I say? I am a runner up for the spot of the biggest Loser ever born. I am dead serious about this Young Woman I met in Austin, God I hate the feeling I get in My gut. I have been blinded by Love a time or too, "I've left a string of broken hearts behind Me.", in all actuality I felt I was'nt deserving of a Lady such as Her. I totally lost complete control of My senses. I cry as I write again.

Been quiet

   Do not for an instant think I am letting these People off the hook. I have but few years left, be it twenty or forty. I am beyond middle aged and never even realized I was. there's not a whole lot of 108 year old's out there. I am really curious on how I have effected T.V., Richard seems to have an outlet just too mess with Me. I want You to understand that when I say something like that I look at it's reality. Since I started this I have actually been without the ability to watch whatever I want daily. Even now I pay for the web but not the cable. Hell the only reason I was watching those damn shows where Their arrogance is outstanding, is because I received the minimum channels that are free. Meaning Fox. I really can't put up with the crap They put out. Family Guy, The Simpson's, I could go on. Quality Television it is lacking. Well, I just had to say I'm still here and fighting, Kelly.

Bad Elvis1

   I am a new Human that is a fact. It is a serious thing I speak of Folks. Folks? I have used that one from the "get go" We all do it "Momma" We are taught to repeat, it is mockery. We as People do it because it is natural. Kid's mess with other Kid's because it is what is going on. Hey, I finally remembered a story of My life while typing, I'll be dammed. Too the Youth in the World as of the year 2114? I as a Human Being am named Kelly McGill. I just read what I had written and saw a bland, boring, so far back woods, uneducated, You know what I mean kinda Kid. Wow, I say. As I have stated I clean up what I scribble here and try to present an authentic story. So I leave My rough draft of the Evening for full exposure of My mind. No Bull Pal, that's Kelly McGill. I did have to go through this latter part to clarify a thing or two. As a finish of My jabbering Here Tonite I will conclude with a rendition of an earlier page. I will complete My story of the Night with Jibberish as far as I'll know. I am a Human though and am able to see different route too, I think I'll end with this, I am a Jackass. I even told John Pierson, Whom again I say lives in Pflugerville Texas, on Malden, to tell'em to say eeeah, Grandpa Kelly says Eeeah was done by Tyler Perry? I have to insist on continuing for one last thing. I am still capable of living a Life with an Adult Female standing by My side. Hurt pride is devastating. I am so amazed that I even live Friends. Pain sucks and this really brings it out so hard. I am so in love with a Woman. Nancy, You are My life. I'm through, She does bring a smile though.

   I have to ask the question, "America?".

Dork!

   That title cracked Me up. As I write here, right now, I am in a frame of mind less than normal. But at the same time I realize more than You comprehend. Meaning, You know nothing about My knowledge, nor My inner Being looking at the World go by. Granted, I too know of My own thoughts and not Yours. One of the greatest things known to Man is when You can see a Human understand what it is that You are understanding at the same time. Oh I know I am talking off the wall as They say it, and even being very crude in the sense of many mentalities around the Globe, but when You see right through a Person and see that that Human knew exactly what it was that You are realizing at that same time is neat. Hell Kid's, I could shock Your silly Behinds about now with such crud. You know, People out there criticize a Lonely Person, especially Males, but if I really tried married Gals are a dime a dozen. The Blues? I hate the exiztance of a Human, Myself. I was a Kid that sat back and watched. My late Teens? Hell on Wheels Pal. You nor any other Person is going to do anything, and I do refer to the Police out there. Hey, I really did walk up to the Playboy Mansion and rattle the gate. Twice now I have walked up to the Playboy west studio in Santa Monica Cal. too. The first time I had a brilliant idea to write My Life story. And knowing They had contacted Me in 1980 I thought what the hey. I even sent Snail Mail Hughs way at first. I know They are around somewhere. I do have a question for You, would a Guy go to these extremes as a bad joke? Try Me. Seriously, try Me in front of a Jury Tomorrow. I demand it.

What I hate!

   I hate Assholes, well I am one due to My retarded Life. I hate messed up People, well I are one! I hate People that allow Richard Pattison, I allowed Him.  I hate the Bullshit that surrounds Us daily. I hate the naive ways People look at the World, They want to kill Us. I hate these People wanting to kill You. In actuality I feel sorry for Them. They are in the same Boat as most Americans are up to the date September 20th, Today, in the year of 2014. Hey! We are being accosted by Enemies of America and I am now waking up to that fact Myself. "It'll blow over." is what brings Us down. I as an American am seeing a change come over Us, We have all seen what happened after the attack on New York itself, but what I see is an open Country with an Enemy that created itself entering with reckless Authority. Meaning They are here to Kill Goddamn it. Those are laymens terms Son. I am the last one to say Kill a Man, but I am being Freind, and yes that is My exact thought when saying this part, keep Your head lower than Your butt, We want to see 'em both around for a spell. Hey! People want to destroy Us. And as far as Richard goes, He'd more'nlikey back You, I'll give 'im that, don't  Yur back. Excuse Me if You will? Crudeness? That is Me. I just used the restroom and came back and read this? Kelly? No wonder You all ignore Me. "Just ignore Him maybe He'll go away!", never works.

Crap!

   The only way I could start Tonight came out. Crap! I had so much to say here recently. While doing this and living in a tent was easy, I'd use My phone and leave Myself messages daily. Now I am being bombarded with work and have so much on My mind now. The easiest way to keep track of a job is to carry a pocket size tablet, done it at least four times now. But as far as what I had to say here Tonight? I really am losing My ability to talk about My Life, mainly is because I have opened up too much already. Folks, I am not a "Get rich quick" kinda Guy. My proof is in My ability to climb the ladder at work faster than most. I know My job and I bust My ass harder than a casual life at work would even think of. Manual Labor is tough enough, but I am one of those that kick it up to the degree that Others are astonished. I Myself on Monday have not been awarded full helm as the Boss said He was considering, but I am going onto the addition to the Wind River Casino known as the food court with the handle of Foreman. Thus I am in charge of certain areas and all People within said range too. A General Contractor is the Job I have learned in the past few months. I do believe I have said enough to teach any Kid out there in the Streets, as I know I have stated before, to give You the confidence to see that there are avenues of opportunity, just take the walk. Hell, in California You can make it on the local bus systems nearly statewide. Covered a few miles that way when I left Santa Monica. It really is something how I can find a subject and ramble. The one Tonite as I say was at random. Thanks for listening to an old Fools rambling, Kelly.

Do You People even care?

   It seems to Me I am wasting My time here. I am wondering if I even deserve a decent shot in Life, Nobody else seems to give a shit. I look at My life and ask Myself what I have done to deserve such a rotten Life and after looking at it more times than I can recall I still have to ask why Me? I sincerely have never gone out of My way to harm another Person. Yes I did go to California to find this Pattison, but only after I realized exactly what He had done to My mind. These People find it amusing to do what They do and I doubt if any remorse has set in either. A Cowardly act if there ever has been one for sure. I insist on saying that these People are the direct party responsible for Me plight in Life. In all sincerity I really hate My life and will either change it or end it.

Loss of interest Myself

   I sure have'nt been rattling on lately. Tired is all. Forty hours has been a short week for quite a time now, it's catching up too. I really want to recap what I am even speaking of Tonight. As I have said, and I swear with open eyes looking at My dilemma, I was just some Kid that was beginning out in Life when I was sent into a World of heartache. Soon after People decided it was Their appointed duty to help Me become a song Writer. I seriously was sitting at home when a knock was heard on a door that only allows certain People in through an intercom. Huh! Right afterwards I find some "Acid Rock,", in an obvious position. After the second time being set up in the exact same manner I was asked by William "Bill" Ogden Rowley to join a Band, I did'nt know a chord. Again the wheels churned and with the help of Others I wound up in Austin Texas. Yes, I walked into a Party at the Marriott that night too. There was a concert in Austin I feel I should have followed My first thoughts and went to instead of goofing off like We were. Jackson Browne I believe it was, I am curious if I did'nt crash His after Party to be honest. And if You are wondering how They could have ever known where to find Me after I left that night, I did kind a lose it when the acid hit Me a bit and just happened to be looking out the window at the job I was working at at the time. It would be a simple thing to find out Who was running it and if They had some Kid from Wyoming working with Them named Kelly McGill. People, They gave a slow Kid, Me, enough acid to keep Him awake for over two day well before They gave Me the Playboy. I for one as a Human cannot even prtend to like a Person that messes with Another.

At a loss Here.

  I am at a loss on how these People are allowed to ruin My Life and then screw with Me. Good God!

Riverton Wyoming and getting cooler.

   The Mountains close by, the Wind Rivers, was gifted with enough snow last night to tell Us winter is creepin' in. You want some rugged country? The majority of these areas are Wilderness areas. Grizzlies and Wolves. Most of You out there look at Them as Animals, well They are. And They do as Animals do, They get hungry and eat something. The Wolves in particular have increased since the introduction of the Canadian species, bigger and faster, thus becoming a danger. Don't tell Me They won't attack Humans either. In the Cody Wyoming paper about a year or so ago there was an article about a Gentleman being chased while riding His bike. They never mentioned if He was on a Mountain trail or not but hey, a Wolf after You for dinner? I did'nt plan on going off on this subject Tonight really, I wanted to talk about how this Richard Pattison and His Pals were as Children. Nerds? Yea that is what Richard ran with. I know 'em all too well. I did'nt hang out with these Boy's Myself I became a Friend through Bill Rowley after working with Him. I just found a good finish for Tonite, Wolves in Nerds clothing. "Revenge of the Nerds!", is something Richard would come up with I can bet money. M t.v.? I do remember seeing Mike Judge's comic strip when He lived at Reagon Hills apartments. He used to sell pot that's how I wound up at His apartment. I wonder how deep Richard is. It is peculiar when I see all the commercials with a guitar in them. Being a Musician I notice this more. You have to understand Richard here, the Kid's baddass. I'd love to drop Him, and continue to kick Him in vital spots along His torso, but the Boy can play the guitar. This in no way excuses His actions then and now. "A Hot Dog.", "Too Cool.", "Hot Shot Kid.", "Too Smooth.", "Spoiled.",I can go on and on with cliche's about those Children. This Child needs You to know and see that I am here and I am in a certain sense My right mind. That in itself scares Me. I am writing this and seeing it in front of Me. I do take a realistic look at Myself, especially when I am writing this junk. As I have said since day one, this is no gag, Kelly.

Again I type, why?

   The question is why, why live? Why help Others? Why should We worry about the World's problems? Why am I asking? Because! People of Today's World are more intelligent They say. I don't feel it is so. Yes We have advanced beyond any of Their expectations for a fact, but all We are now are well educated. Even Myself had fair grades in My last four years of School. In fact due to probation I had to aquire My records. I had a B average in everything except Science where I had a D average. Of those classes range from creative writing, math, P.E., welding, food service, building trades, auto body, and the regular crowd. I came out with a B that makes Me feel good. Of course I never venture into Algebra, but I can spell it. Nor did I achieve a passing grade in Physics or Trig either. My plan was to skate through as close as I could without to much trouble, and yes that is how My life has actually been too. The wrong hand leading a Child does have severe affects People. I don't care much for bragging, what I say right here and now may sound like it though, if People would have left the little Boy alone He would have found greatness instead of being the one that saw it pass in front of Him without an ability to grab it. Life sucks for a lot of Us, Hey We don't need Your help in that area. "Hold Him back He's a Dummy.", that would tear a Childs heart out admit it. If You think a retarded Person has no clue that They are actually slow You are naive. Man, I am blown away. I also had an I,Q, # on that School report.................one hundred and sixty four if I remember right. I am not far off for damn sure. I even took one of those computer test recently, 125 but it was confusing at first on how to take the test. I did what I could in Their time limit. So I aint the biggest Dummy on Earth am I?

In the first place if I were,,,,,

   When My mind holds still long enough to really grasp how Others are it is amazing how Children are in America Today. A frightening thing is taking place and yet They screw with Me? I insist on the fact that I do write this crap from the heart too. I have an idea to help You with Your decision about Me, am I the one making fun of some retarded Kid? My Grand Mothers name is Ella, I am Grandpa Kelly too. Proof being on the text messages months before the show from area code 512, number 300-9450. A throw away phone from Target I still pay $10. a year on to keep active. It is in fact within ear shot as I type and For hours after to boot.  Damn it! I thought They were My Friends Folks. I have said it before and I am saying it again, if nothing else comes out of this other then changing Lives, opening eyes, Hell I'd be proud for damn sure. Hey! What the Fuck? Kelly.

By Golly!

   What in the Hell is a Golly? And to be by Golly? Is that like Holy Smokes, or By Jsesus? One thing I have taken into view, which does mean "I have noticed." is that when something is cool, meaning acceptable, We tend to copy it. Fact. Even saying the word fact is the same damn thing. Hey, do you want to go way overboard with that one? From the Day You are taught to talk You are in actuality just mocking what You see and hear. From that Day forward You instinctively watch and accept what is being formed. My experience in this field is undocumented yes. But My experience up close and for real is exactly that. I have heard over the years sayings such as "In the real World", I have one thing to say there. I may not live in Your World, but what ever World was created for Me is as real as it can be fro Me. I do not think of this as a fun thing what I am doing here. I have cried My eyes out Folks just to get this out there. Hey, I am a small Child in the eyes of Grown. I Myself would have killed this Child years ago if I thought He were unworthy of a decent Life. Kelly McGill.

F-in' Heimer!

   I left a little memento on My way from L.A. to Sacramento. The whole way up 99 I wrote F-in ' Heimer was Here! It was a monotony breaker. I wrote I slept here, I bathed here and a few other choice sayings I can't really recall. The point is, I did it. Kelly McGill has gone so many places and seen so many different opportunities in His Life and that is a written fact right here and now. But why in the Hell can He not be a normal Lover? Huh! Again, I am a lost Fool with a rough way in Life. This in itself will tarnish a Persons pride. I have said before that when I was blindsided by Nancy I looked so deep into the depths of My Life and knew I was out classed. The pain from that I would only wish on a rotten Human. Pain in Life opens Our eyes to reality. He that wishes to argue go hit Yourself with a hammer. By golly I'll show Ya sooner or later that I am a decent Human being harrassed in a fashion unallowed. By golly I let stand since I wrote 'er that way. Kelly.

You are a reason to live.

   Yes, I have a wisdom that allows Me to look at the World. I admit that My mental eye has yet to develope fully. I see Grown People new everytime I see one that's how new I am. A Greenhorn for sure. But the difference is that I do have an open mind to growing. I feel feelings most of You out there, no exaggerations, may never feel. People die daily You know? I could be done right after, or during this next sentence. Wow! I know for sure Nobodies wrote that one down before. But hey, My name is Kelly McGill and I was left to hang. I had to grab the attention of some People with the position to act upon what is a horrible offence. I truly am amazed at how these People are allowed to do what it is that They actually do get away with. Reality! You as a whole feel it is a cordial gathering. You against the slow Guy. I am that slow Guy. I hurt Nancy, and that one devastates Me. Reality? Grow the fuck up! What You have here is a lost soul that understands exactly where He is and What exactly is going on in the World around Him. I am not a totally lost Child, even though I Myself have My doubts without a joke intended. Hey! I am the one They..... Oh? You don't really give a Fuck? Wow? Americans Today? "Who cares?", "Dumbass!", "What a Winner!" or whatever clever things You have to say. Hey!!!! You!!!! The one joking about Me or anything else that a Man refuses to laugh at!!!!!!!!!

WOW!!!

  I really did read some of the crap I wrote, Drunk?

At least I have a heart and try.

   I did glimpse a brief section at the end of My latest whatever You call it Tonite, when I log in there it is. I really am honest when I say this has an adverse effect on a Persons Life. I as I write am really doing so with a drudgery. Even though, if You can't tell, I get a kick out of being able to write it. Sometimes it may be melodramatic, or even Earnest Hemingway gone off on the computer. But whatever it is that I've discovered on the Web is an outlet for My grief, it sure as Hell don't hurt to get it off My shoulders for damn sure. The Computer? It is so amazing. Well? What else could a Guy with such a screwy Life do? Murder? Oh Hell Kid's I go to Jail if I ran into these Kids and that is a fact. I heard Pattison was in San Francisco but thought just maybe I'd run into Him. Even though, knowing Mr. Pattison and if He is living large I knew He'd be no where around L.A. with Me around if He's got any hint of this Kid talking about Him and just keeping an eye out for Him. For those that are reading this I wish to inform You I do understand My rights as a Human Being in the United States of America. I hurt a Boy that charged Me When I was three years old. A snap kick right under the nose. Bill Rowley charged Me after starting a fight in the same manner when I was twenty, the guitar I used was resting on the ground, My hands were a blur, no shit. I said before, Bill and Richard, along with Ken Scribner, John Guthrie and numerous other, not to mention the Slattery Brothers were there when I stopped Bill Slattery in His tracks after confronting Him over some money. These People knew that I had a defence that I can only explain in simple terms, shock. I played Pitcher for the Wakeham Warriors in the sixties, no shit, and after Who knows maybe My tenth pitch I get a line drive that would have a set Me straight on what a smack in the face is with a real jolt of reality, I caught it right in front of My face. Me? I tossed the ball to the nearest Kid around and told the right Fielder I was now playing out field. These Kids knew I am a Person not to be messed with, and I was a Nineteen year old Baby in reality when They decided it was Their job to alter My life. Why on Earth would You allow such arrogance to be so blatantly strewn about like it was an Adult? Forgive the wind bag tonite.           

Yep

   I prefer this method of getting out there. I just read My tweets as They are called, over zealous just a touch. I really just wanted to brag, I personally am going to be the first Wyoming Lottery Winner seeing as We ow have it Here. I have hit with My system all of the numbers just not all in the same line. Wish Me luck for I of all People need it. And I do gratefully  accept any prayers too. You have to admit it to Yourself, any Kid that innocent, so innocent that He becomes lost and hurting bad inside because of the love of a beautiful Woman, beyond His expectations in the first place to boot. Does the Kid deserve a shot? I feel I am decent enough Person to and that is My personal opinion.

I bore You?

   Do You understand that People look the other way and allow People to be hurt? They are People that are either screwy, or They're scared. Where do You fit in? Me? I tried to hit a Guy in the head with a screw driver after He raped a Friend of Mine. I told You about it. When We went down the road that He was seen running He pulled out and gunned it seeing Us. We knew the area there was only one road, this was Him. He picked up speed the whole distance too. I'd hate to guess the speed He was going over a football field later when I was  about ten feet from His bumper and still standing there in the middle of the street like it was nothing. Hey, I have two Witnesses to prove that I did side step His ass and hit the window at temple height, that part is My word alone being so close. I jumped from a stand still from the middle of a narrow two lane . I was flying backwards too. Hey! I can, do and will back Folks up in the World if need be. Just do the same for those that deserve. All I ask is for the proper growth to be induced in America, Kid's like this Pattison would be run over by Adults. Now is as an important time as any ever seen before in the eyes of Man, any Man, for You to get Your act together and see what in the Hell is actually going on. Now is not Tomorrow.

Blue collar Fool.

   In My Life I continue to be astounded with My opportunities. I am standing there and talking to The Foreman on the Crew when the Owner of the Company drives up. We are looking at a project that I Myself Fucked up, a big one yet small. To elaborate We are working on a roof I Myself have never rough cut before nor had the Bosses on the Job. I cut it on a 3/12 roof pitch and fit 'er in. I had to meet  People at the job I was finishing that day and left after lunch or I would have saw I was in the wrong soon and fixed it. That left the second in command for the Company and another damn good Carpenter to figure out what in the Hell I just did. After I came back Yesterday We were spinning. George said go to the other end, and even mentioned how I was out  of plump too. It is a mind bender until You set it on the walls right, then You say O.K. because of the simplicity. To a Carpenter out there I have these words of wisdom. If You have a roof on a 3/12 pitch with a four foot overhang? Just look at it as a floor system with a four foot canterlever. Then set it on a rake and You got it. Four days. Finally the Foreman running the job figured it out after We had ran one full area. It was luckily an easy fix at a small cost. My last job before the one prior to this I cut in a roof with six different roof pitches, I still have the blueprints. Normally there are drawings that are for specific areas to help the Tradesmen, We get kinda disconboobuliated quite often. I even explained what We had been up too to the Boss and He still out in front of Everybody there that He wanted Me as His Boss over all jobs. After He left I pulled Marty, Georges Brother Our Foreman, over to the side. After I told Him that I consider Him the Boss He told to go for it. That is a serious job for a Dummy. Hell, I am telling You all of this to show that I am not a complete Moron. Around fifth or sixth in command for a general contractor is impressive. But I know My real job, to be around when Guys are screwing off, I'll be good at it too. His payroll is getting too high and He said He is getting to that point. Sad thing about the situation is that George has the Labor and They have a way of stretching out breaks and lunch, I'll keep a serious eye on it too. Bonuses are earned.

A different veiw from one to the next.

   I just glanced at what I wrote last night and was reminded of others in My recent past that have been leaning towards very outrageous. The thing is, they came back as I looked at it. I had been thinking about some of the things I say, but remember one thing, I admitted before that I read Them later and find Them offensive Myself quite often. Hey! The truth is, Happy Hour can create a Monster. If I go drinking I live within walking distance to all the Bars in this Town. Some? A serious walk, but a Cab home is around ten bucks. Happy Hour? Yep. Ya stop off to at least get to know People, sitting at Home is what drives 'em knutts. And the way that modern People mingle in society is what People accept, Me? I were a Dummy to an extent. Grown! Me? Hell, "If You need to ask Nobodies gonna tell You!"......... Damn!

"Hey, You want'a buy some acid?"

 Me being asked is serious too Me Personally. I was pretty stoned when this Playboy was handed to Me. I really Was awake for Friday, Saturday, and half a Day on Sunday. Even Monday, when I know now that I was being messed with, I could feel the effects at Work all day. You do not allow this to happen. A Fact is a serious matter and I speak of one. Without, I say again, the affidavits from those hiding in Their past I have not a lick of proof. Damn. I live. I hate it but I do. Suicide right now? No There's too much crap to see at this point in American History to run off and not see if I can't lend a hand toward defending the righteous innocent involved without Their consent. Yes, it is a cruel thing to look at. But truly imagine living in a War torn area.  With death ambient daily I would be as an American wanting to, You can read My thoughts I am sure. Another Patriot from within a Land has spoken! Hey, that does not say I want to go off on Our own. It would be ugly if some People could achieve Their agenda. That is what I fear. If They started Today, 2114, 9:45 Here, We'd be toast. The Cities are sitting Ducks. If You are an easy going Person , the Type that would run, just get the Hell to the rear. I sure as Hell would leave any City I were in if Violence were running at the scale of an all out War. Do You want Them to Kill You? No You do not. You are not the front line Human at this point in Your Life. Pull back and fight another Day. And Any Human Being on the face of the Planet known as Earth goes around trying to Kill the type of Humans I speak of in little story here? If You really need to ask?

2000 and what?

    I am at a loss at what I really had to blab about, by the time the engine gets warm it's too late to remember, "Old Fucker!", Yea I be gettin' there. Do You really want to see how a retarded spaced out Kid is? My whole plan when I logged on was thought out no less than twice. I was going to be  Radical about America being overrun due to Our easy way. Hey that's a fault. You are too easy to just say, "I'm nice.", which is so lovable about America. But Hey! They are Here to Kill!!!!

Hate Crimes?

    Again I am here talking about the World and the future We are approaching, Monday on the 17th day of August in the year of two thousand and fourteen, in which I always have to remember what year it is due to My life style. I choose to do the drugs, Yes, I have repeatedly sentenced Myself to that agreement, agreed. The facts being as They are presented to each and Everyone of Us are as plain as a Man's face. And when I say Man, if You even ask Your Youth is shown in Your innocence. A fact is a known Adult reliance on They're witness to the presence of Another Grown Human, what I am saying You will understand as , when two People connect on a certain level. When You understand exactly that You both understood it is a lesson in Life. It's a Goofy World and I was a suck ass one to say the least, Hell, it was , not trying to just say something about Nancy, but that was in the late Summer of 1982. That has some attachments known as pain too it. I think of what We stare at daily. Get Your heads straight, Now. We stole this Country and now She needs defended. Facts are facts. My fact is that I writing this. And I do see the real Kelly McGill. I am a lost broken hearted Fool with a question for Hugh Hefner Himself. would You Sir please take a Lie detector test asking if I am real. Hugh? I have a picture My Mom wanted taken that fall in thee exact western white shirt I wore on My Night of glory to prove to any of those that I am thee Child that wandered into a party at the Marriott, Hey I'm real. You Folks saw that Kid. He was as green as grass in a seed's seed. HEY!

When Someone commits a Crime?

  To all of You out there. If this has'nt been a plea for help there never was one  before. If You can look at this and call Me a Liar, Sir I am offended. The innocence in America is astounding, of course I actually felt like a Boy even writing this part, the first time through, We talk like Children. We carry on as if We're Kool. Kool? Wow! that is enough to connect generation gaps there. Kid's cool is from the fifties I believe. Even Your oldest People here say cool Today, Cool. To the World, cool, means all right. For example, all of the World grew the Fuck up at once. Impossible I know, but what if? I have witnessed the change in People when They see Full Grown People, all You need to do is really look at Them, They will let You know. Hard times are nothing new. Your Elders Today have seen more Shit than You and I wish to see. But if We sit and watch, Holy shit is going to hit Us hard. I have talked about Our situation, I am worried Myself. I know and respect a lot of the older Generation Mexicans, from Here and Mexico, even Their Chamaco's b muy mature. I look at it like this, You kick Somebodies ass out of Their own Country? I am talking to American's I am not? You too would be so pissed off looking at this fantastic place while You suffer. American history is a brutal fact. Hey! Look at the present and seek the future. It's easy to see into the next realm with what is becoming a stepping stone for Us. Hey! Again! As far as Mexico goes I really do hope They're Our Allies in this fight for Our Lives We face. And if You scoff at My words, look around Son. How Many People do You know Personally that really need to be shot? As America in a whole? I hope to Hell the message gets through, this War We face will make You Grown Ups or it will kill You. I joke not when say when I say that the F.B.I. knows Me Personally. Right after the attacks on New York and D.C.  I wrote a three or four page letter telling Them what My thoughts were. I was asked to open said package too. It t'wer'nt no Bomb. Hell I hate Kid's too but I would'nt go out of My way to shoot 'em or something insane like like. Normal? No I be long from it. At fifty four I'm still a Kid. T'wer'nt nothin', just My Frickin' life.

I am here

    "Here I sit all broken hearted", Yep, that's what it's about. I want out of this misery I call My life is a major portion of the origin of this long letter. I was sentenced to a life of heartache for sure. But what happened between some Women in My past and being lost and being set up with enough acid to fuck with Your mind are topics of a real difference. "Lost?", that one is tough to break down. A feeling like You don't really know what to do, You really can't control Your life as an Adult should, You hurt constantly, Sleep? Boy's and Girl's I know what I am saying. And I refuse to lie about any of it. "White Lies.", They're still lies. I have some pride left in a beaten body I have to be an honest Person. These People are not seen in a Man's eye as Adults. It is rude and childish for a fact. I  wonder about the sense of the People in America with what They are allowing. Do You completely understand that We are being invaded by an Enemy of Their choice? Meaning They are bringing to You.  Why? We're wide open for one and easy pickings to Them, plus American Children are let loose too much. Any sensible Man needs not an explanation. Give a poor Bastard a shot/ If I thought I were undeserving of a decent life I would have taken My own life years ago. In Laymen's terms, This is Bullshit to allow Richard Pattison and Bill Rowley to get away with such Garbage. And that is a fact!

What is possible

   What I have to say is about My life in the past three years. I did go to Santa Monica and live in a tent with the hopes of running into this Richard Pattison. Then I wound up in jail in Cheyenne for four months. Finally found work in Dakota and wound up back in Wyoming where I am at the present. I told You I was to be the project Manager, I did'nt know what I was. I was and still am the Superintendent for the general Contractor. Our finish date was last Friday. I had everything going smooth until the Contractor sent a Kid from Casper to do the job. It took Him three days to do a one day job. We did pass inspection Friday but needed one more thing before We'd receive a final approval and it was waiting on that inspection. By ten thirty Monday morning when the Inspector left We had Our final. One Kid can screw everything up for You just like that. This morning I said I need a day off, I am finished after two working days. The thing is I did all the punch list, which was mainly cosmetic, and had started on it before I even got the official list in My hands. Being the Boss I walked around with the Gal that wrote it. As soon as She left I was working on it. I told Her Yesterday I was ready for Her final walk. We'll see how that goes before I am complete. This company has'nt had a Man turn in a Job on time for a few years. His Daughters house where I started in December I have also been setting interior doors and doing trim out. As matter of fact the Bosses Son just called, so much for a day off, He wants the last three doors hung Today. What I want to stress here is that if People got out of the areas where the work is sparse it can be a turn around. When I was in Dakota though the paper read that a Homeless Guy was arrested in Williston right after getting there just for being Homeless, even when You try People take You down because They can. Mister I was given a set of plans and a one dollar raise when I started My project. I was given a dollar raise two weeks straight. It was'nt My first Foreman job, but a first at being the Boss over the whole thing. I now understand a little bit about other trades. Oh well huh? Time to get back after it.

Wow !!!!

   Here I am, a Human Being on the face of the Earth. And yet I Myself as melodramatic Tonight. Children would scoff at this and say I am being a Drama Queen. Well Bitch if the shoes fits! BaHaHaHaHa! Hey! I am just a Soul on the Planet that was a lost one from the beggining. I have never in My life felt so down to Earth. I am what I am, a lost Person. If You doubt My words I invite You to meet Me in Person, I can and will prove no less than a spaced Kid. If You were to meet Me You would understand. I am not trying to run some Jamaican scam or any other type of crap. I even said where I sent My info to those Folks. I was that close to losing it right there, accepting Them. Hell, I thought that if I played along to the finish I just might, just maybe, They'll be real. I had never heard of Their scam though. I was contacted by American Officials that I see are in Authority though, that those Folks are indeed Money Launderer's. What the Hell though, I'll send 'em a nice little note every now and again telling Them We're not interested. So Hey, I am not seeking anything but the respect of another Human Being. And Anybody after found dead reading this, because? You'd rather not help a lost Kid. Don't worry about Me, I aint askin' for nothin'. Charlie Daniels says it best. And yes the last few sentences were rough to read, and I wrote 'em!

Joe Pantalones

   To the serious People out there let Me first apologize for My crudeness, I have done this a time or two, being rude that is. Even in the beginning Tonight I come out as a Smart Alleck Kid My own self, Yes in fact I am showing My Youth. But God damn it I got Everyone of You beat and I'd win enough bets to prove it too. Tomorrow is the deadline of the Job I am Supervising. We finally had the ceiling tile release on last Friday. I managed to bring in two People extra to cut borders that Morning, after Saturday with another hand volunteering We had three major rooms finished. Then My help for the job fell short on Monday and I had this week to find a solution. Hey! I went to work in the manner I am used to, hard. My Boss would back Me if I told Him I needed the help to prove it. I did three full classrooms on Monday by Myself. On Tuesday My best Hand showed up and We finished a few little rooms and hung a sliding door that took some time. John is good at having to go somewhere all the time and when He showed up late from lunch I watched His shock at how much was done. If not for My just saying watch this and knocking the fuck out of it I can say for a fact I would have cost My Company $1,000. a day in penalties after Tomorrow. I am a serious Person, and I have a list of things for Tomorrow and the weekend that will be done before the final list hits My desk, I was in on the walk, I already know what's on it. Our finish of the day, this day,  We cleared a serious amount of punch out items off the final list by being there doing things as the walk went on. We even had an issue in which Overhead Doors, the City inspector, the electrical Companies Owner, the Foreman for the alarm company and Myself were wondering why Our alarm activated doors were not closing right. By the end of the Day? Well We are at Home.

Shit Stinks!

   Man Oh Man! What a week! I was released with a bunch of Ceilings ready for tile and Nobody to do it with but Me, Damn, this Fool went to Work. Work in which I'd not be guessing when I say that nearly all of You reading this have never experienced. I am to be 100% done by Friday, here it is Monday and My Crew falters and does'nt show up. I did one of the toughest rooms, due to the layout of the floor, and two others plus. That was on Monday. Tuesday I had My best Help along in the morning and We accomplished a huge part of some punch out work. He had something He had to attend and I kicked it in the ass when He was gone too. He was visibly shocked when He saw what I had finished when He walked in. I have until Friday to be really really close to being finished, I might make it by doing that and then giving the job a major pick up. If there is any doubt about My being an actual Human Being with this life, I can prove that I am the head Cheese on My job. I am the Superintendent, that in itself is a statement that deserves respect. After Tomorrow We'll see how tight of a walk We have to endure, I see all of the blemishes, I just hope some are acceptable. It's a tight ass job when They say You have a little over two months to do what every other General Contractor said was impossible, and now I am down to the smallest items on My list before a walk through. This Company I work for is real bad about soaking up the hours, meaning They rarely go under the time limit. I should be at the most, if Her list is tough, a week over budget. But like I say I just now was allowed to put in the ceiling tile. The other issues? We ironed 'em out. I just have to say these things so that You will be able to see a Human Being here as He is. I am not the Brightest Crayon in the box,  but I still able to live a productive Life. I speak of how I was destroyed? I would have been better off without knowing these People and that's fact, but still, it was a deliberate set up by these People. I insist on it to the point that I admit to being angered enough to take a Life. I am a competent enough of a Person to see through the Bull shit People. Kelly.

Been gone I see.

   Thought I had a Bug, damn thing kept saying something about My plug. Back up and bitchin'. Hell Yea I'm pissed off about this crap, the proof that They screw with some Kid in the first place is astounding. Any Kid that would walk away from a Gal like Nancy is in total shock. Any Child that would stand with His jaw dropped and stare at Sheila Griffin from Her head all the way to Her neck, both Gal's with bulging eyes and I tell no lie. I as a Human Being demand respect. Damn cruel son of a Bitch known as the World?

Hello again

   My name is known now, there's no doubt, and My plight is also known. I sure as all get up hope that You People don't think of Me as a Liar. When I speak I speak only truth. This week has been Monday all week long, and Today I thought it aint worth going on with. The first thought that came to mind when I thought about giving up was how much money I had in My pocket, I had enough to make it to Washington for damn sure too. If You think for a second that I will forgive such a mean act You are mistaken. The fact is, I really want to finish what I started by moving to the streets of Santa Monica. Good God People, They deliberately set out to fry My mind, and came close to succeeding too.

I am real Folks

   This one goes out too the screwed up People that allow Richard Pattison to be an Ass.

No foul words Tonite, I hope.

   This has nothing to do with these People messing Me up and then screwing with My life, what I want to talk about Tonight is what is going on in the Grown up World around Us. Yes it is real. I am seeing where Our first black President is bringing in the youth of Mexico, Why? I have My own opinion. There are so many scenarios unfolding in front of Us. One is that They are bringing in future Warriors for another Country, another that They are bringing in future Warriors of another Country to kill Them before They grow to really hate Us. That is how real My thoughts are about it. It is easy to see that I watch the World and speculate what is happening in Today's World, and I sure as Hell hope that the future I see We are heading to never exists. If I were in charge? And this is looking at the health of America's future, I would scare You. We are on the brink of either destruction or revolution, those of Us that see the end may just be being born Today. As for Kelly McGill? I am all for a cleansing of a Country that has fucked Herself up. Hey get the fuck out of the danger zones. Excuse the French.

Crazy shit

   When I say crazy shit I am talking about how these People are, They're knutts to do what They do. Myself? Hell I've told You how bizarre My life has been. Honesty is a great thing to be able to have on My side, it makes Me feel good inside to know that I am not a Liar. I hate the way People are around Me. I hear Them say things where I can hear Them but not quite to My face, and You wonder why the World dislikes You? "Kelly weird.", I heard quite a bit at the disc golf course I played at in Austin. It sounds weird to Me that You would say such a thing too. At the Bar I frequent I can hear Them say, "He's strange.", People do not underestimate Me. I am a non violent Person but if I am pushed to the brink I could kill You easily without even thinking about My actions. I am keeping My senses about Me when it comes to this Richard Pattison and Bill Rowley enough that I am not going on the hunt for Their lives. Again I say this in order for You to see how mad I am about this whole affair. And if You think I am playing a game You are sadly mistaken.

Take a good look

   I am a Victim here dammit! I want no more than any Human on Earth, justice. The saddest part of being a Human, especially in America it seems, is that People don't give a damn. "That's the trouble with Kid's now a days, They just don't give a damn.", reality.

????

   Here I am as an honest Bastard?

The real Kelly McGill

  Here I am sitting at the Rocky Mountain, My local bar, and some Kid wants to talk to Me. I saw Her walk in with two Male Peoples. The next thing I know is that I am accosted by Her Herself, after Her Friends left Her alone. I was unable to hear Her and I moved a Bar stool closer. After some time of listening to a lost conversation a Gentleman walks up and asks if He can sit next to His Wife. The People involved?  I again say that I am non violent Person, but holy crap I wanted to fight so bad I was shaking. The best I could do was to warn the Bar. I will admit though that I wanted the violence head on too. I sat there and said out lud what I thought of Her, which is Knutts. I am an honest S.O.B. and I cannot explain it any plainer. If I were a hard Ass? I would have challenged these People straight out. What I did was to tell Them out loud in an abnormal manner to go fuck Themselves. I admit it is unusual too. These People though are unusual to Me though, even though it is considered Normal. Grow the Fuck up.

Ten veiws a day?

  If all I can achieve is ten People a day looking at this crud then I am doing good. People I am a Heart breaker, and that sucks. Ask Nancy or Sheila either one and You'd receive the same answer, "Kelly could'nt do a thing.". I hate to put it quotation marks due to the fact that I have never heard Them say these word, but I feel these Two more than You could understand. I suck at being a Human and that's a fact for damn sure, but I sure as Hell did not need the help of My close Friends to set Me up with a mind altering. Good Gravy!

10002 looks?

   I wanted to so badly to be a Kid when I hit this number, proof reading I wonder about what I just wrote. The facts are, I have actually matured in the past three years. I understand that it may not show to You, but I see the difference. For one, and this was not thought out, Bill Rowley lives. People, I am a messed up life in reality. The only thing I do having going for Me is My ability to bust My ass. Without mistakes I have been moved up in some serious Companies too. Don St. Germains is a small one except in southern Cals. eyes. But Merick Bros. is a National Company. I messed up with each of these and a few others too, but They are the most powerful I can think of. I now see an opportunity to advance beyond Employees with vast experience compared to Myself, That oughta piss 'em off, We'll see. No Bull from this Kid though, I will push the Kid known as Myself. What follows is whatever They accept. In short, They hate it when a fresh face comes aboard and gets promoted. I push as lightly as a Nun too.

Kelly McGill

   I have tried to the point of absurdness on this. What is the problem with taking these People down? This Richard Pattison finds My life to be a joke, no Man would do such a thing, and no Man would allow it. I know My Family would have Me committed if I were acting like They do, it is not normal to do what He does. I am the Victim here, not the Boy that set out to mess up a Human life. I want justice so bad I hate what it has done to My life, I have to write about it too find a means of d taking these Boy's down and that is pathetic.

Pure hatred

   Hatred is a feeling that can drive a Person over the edge, I have yet to feel enough of it too totalaly lose control but I feel My anger boiling to a point I don't like.