Wenachie

   I  was seventy four mile away from Bill Rowley and thought about paying the Bot a visit. It was a relief when I told Myself He is'nt worth it. I will still cross the street to kick Him hard when I see the Boy though.

14111 veiws so far

   I had to write Tonight because I am out of Here. Seattle is'nt quite the place for Me. For one thing it's getting pretty sorry in America. I have seen the videos of Kids beating People up for nothing, these are everyone of them Blacks on White People. I see that I will not give You a chance to defend Yourselves I will be trying to hurt Everyone of You. John Lucas said a few years back, "If the Blacks ever went off We're in deep shit.". I had a few run ins actually with a couple of black Boy's here. I was walking out of a Bar and He, as Kid's do, tried to bump Me. I'm 55 years old, I know how Children think to a point. He then ssid something but I just ignored Him and walked on. The same thing I did when another came around the corner and We were'nt too far away from each other. After I passed He started saying something I could tell was directed towards Me. I learned in the 8th grade to walk away until cornered and then come out like an Animal from My Karate classes. Which leads Me to say this about William Ogden Rowley Whom resides in Wenachie Washington less than 200 miles from My current location, Bill You are damn lucky I can resist the temptation to pay You a visit. It would start as just an ass beating, and I am very capable of it You know from experience Bill, but I really am afraid I would just shoot the piece of Shit. I have these feelings inside of Me when I think of Nancy that it's eating Me up inside. I wrote this whole thing Tonight because of what it did to Me. I was racked with pain, and as usual You want to die right then. I have shed more tears in M y Life I am convinced No Man before has ever cried as much as I. They roll down My face as I write. I can't even concentrate right now. I'm leaving this as wrote. Good night.

Dip shit here

   I really have to say, this sucks. My Life? Wow! Well as of Monday I am out of here. I cannot stand working for a Person that is wealthy but when it is time to pay His Subs holds Their money. We should have had the framing done two weeks ago but the Framer has lost Men, more then likely on another job. When His Men didn't get paid They jumped ship. Now We are plugging along at a snails pace. I knew it would be a disaster the day I was given the keys to everything. Derek, the Boss when I arrived had already put in His notice . On His last day He told Me all about how this Company has a bad reputation for not paying Their bills at some places. I cannot just order material at some places, it has to be paid right then. That is something I want no part of, I have seen it too many times before. I already quit once here but was talked into staying, but the framing is near enough that I am out of here. Perfect timing too, Elk season for bow Hunters starts on the 1st of September. So My next transmission will probably be to Wyoming. Have a great one Folks, Kelly.

My little World

   In the first damn place, any Kid that told Me that He stood there with His jaw dropped and stared at His future Wife's body, and then three years later stands there and gawks at a Woman's body in the same manner only no slack jaw the second time, I would go out of My way to help. But I seem to have hit a snag on the help part. It is ridiculous to say the least how these Characters act. I am not a Liar nor will I become one either, these People deserve time for Their crimes and that is what I am about. I ask You in the name of humanity please find a way to restore what little dignity I may have had in My Life. I sure need a way out of this misery. Thanks for listening at least, Kelly.

Hello again

    How much longer must I keep this Shit up? Do You want to know something about pain, it hurts. Stating the obvious I know, but it isn't a fun Life. "Well change You Life.", is something People would say, I've tried. I am trying again too, I haven't had a Beer in a week now and My shirts aren't as tight as they were a few weeks back either. At least I am doing that much. "The Lord helps Them that help Themselves.", I guess that means He's helping Richard and Bill because They sure helped Themselves. But hey, They don't recall.

On top of the World

   I know where I can find Richard now, yes on top of the World. I would give My left arm, literally, to be the one that pushed Him into the turd pile that awaits Him at the bottom of His plummet. Do You think I am joking when I say how bad I want these People in the ground?

14013 I believe it said Tonight

   Twelve more readings, cool! Forgive the Childish sarcasm it is uncalled for. My Life? I have but one option but to look at it when I start to type here. Wow! Is really all I can say. Here I am a Heart Broken Fool, a Fool with no choice in the matter because Fools never do have a chance, You're born to it, in a country known as America where People are looking pretty fucked up. I saw as a Child the camps on the side of the freeway out of town where the Hippies lived. The Cops went down Our street a few times saying to stay inside. The Strawberry Festival in Orange County was said to have some serious riots when My Folks worked the ticket booths, as the head People in the office. My Dad said They would have a solid wall of Cops around the trailer They were in and watched it out the window. The sixties in Southern California. Bah! We had some real Bad Ass Bikers as Neighbors once. Later in Life when working there I asked a white Guy if He had heard of Crow Village, "Yea I've heard of Crow.". Would have started Kindergarden around '64 or so, I heard They shoot out the street lights there now, at least that was in the '90s, I heard it from a Freind's Mom I visited there. I'm still surprised I wound up walking out of there without a major fight or two. They tried, but? I told You about Mr. Ray Joe Lewis? I kicked His ass hard. And We were only three. Well? I've looked Him up and in My surprise the Fool is in Salem Oregon. I am now Friends with Him and His Sister Cathy on Facebook. My Sister Kay told Me She had become Friends on there and I said 'huh?!' or something like that and contacted Him immediately. Ray was always there when some kind of shit just happened to come along, and the thing is I did'nt see Ray a lot after We moved from being right next door but He would be there when needed, that is a Friend. In other words, at least I'm an innocent Fuck to write such garbage. Get Me out of this Life is what I pray for to that almighty son of a bitch in the sky, but it aint workin'. You Folks have a great Life and don't worry about Me, I seriously aint sure how much more of the Nancy crap I can deal with, do You understand? My daily ritual is to get up and take a iss and say I hate thie Life, no shit.

14,001 pageveiws

  It gives Me a feeling of accomplishment to some extent when I see that many People have read what I am saying. It doesn't seem to matter though, I'm a poor Slob and these Assholes made it rich. I want Richard Pattison and Bill Rowley to know and understand this here and now, You two are scum and I want You put where You belong, in prison. I am so disgusted with My Life People, it would be so easy to go to Wenachie Washington and put a bullet in the head of this Bill Rowley piece of shit. You willingly went along with an attempt to devastate My mind for Your gain. Anger? I am fighting mad right now. You Boy's had better steer clear of Me for the rest of Your stinking Lives, You two know Me and what I am capable of when it comes to fighting from experience. The thing is, I don't see what You did too Me as fair, so don't expect a fair fight Boy's. I would like nothing better right now when it comes to these two then to be looking down at You lying in a pool of blood. That is exactly how I feel. The only thing that keeps Bill Rowley alive at this point is the fact that I have a tight enough grip on Myself to prevent Me form walking up to You and slitting You miserable throat. And yes that is what I really want to do. These People set out to screw with My life and mind and successfully accomplished Their goal, and now I am being mocked and laughed at by these Children? Bill do You understand fully that I am less than two hundred miles from Your exact location? This deed They have pulled off is a killing offense. Somebody had better take this shit seriously because I am.

Do You even care?

   The pain I live with? It is a seriously screwed up Life that has no chance in Hell of ever finding the right path in Life. Here I am, an innocent Victim. And it seems a care I find not. People in America would go to great lengths to protest the death of an African Lion, which would stock You and eat You, but let Someone try to help a Kid such as I? I see a bleak future for America with the mentality We are seeing in present day.

Hey

    As I write this I am 53 page views from hitting the 14,000 mark. I have to say maybe Someone is reading this. I still at a loss and how it is that this Richard Pattison is still out there doing what He does. I do hope I get a chance at bringing His sorry ass down. I am too damn honest I know and understand that, but I want these People so bad it's what I have to do. Help Me please, Kelly.

Takin' names

   Yep I am a Loser.

Hey! I am trying.

   I have been at odds with this crap for too many years. Here I am. I hate Life. I hate You for allowing this childish nonsense that Richard created. And I hate the Fuckers in Our existence that want to take down the innocent Children known as the Americans. I see one thing straight as a crooked arrow is allowed. We started a fight with Saddam. Mr. Bush Sr. did not have full backing of Congress and They said "No!" after He backed out of Kuwait. It was an open wound. "W" as the young Gentleman is affectionately called by His  Peers, We Americans, then "Stepped up to the plate." and hit a Home Run. Today? Hello. I am sitting here watching My sorry ass write this crap and wondering about the whole kit and kaboodle. You? We are in deep shit with the Boneheads We have in America...... Hey, that is how I look at it. The thing is, if They played it out and We fought, Whoever, and not the Military I feel They have a grip on more than We know and understand, these People have had years of seeking ways to destroy Us as a Country, America!!!! I did, and I can say as a documented fact on film, walk into the F.B.I. Headquarters in Austin Texas right after the attack in New York and gave Them a hand written letter that was so thick They were visibly not liking Me bringing to Them. Hey again, I need help. This is a pathetic plea for it I know, but Hey again, I want to see the end of it soon. I hope You will forgive a Kid and His rambling because this Kid has a chance if I find the crack and fall in it. Open that God Damn Crack My Friend, Kelly.

You just never know

   Here I am at My apartment when I have a thought. I pay $20. a week for parking to the Manager of the place. I had bought a bike for thirty and I figured He might just take that for payment. I went over and knocked on His door. When He opened it I knew something was wrong by His actions. His shirt was off and He seemed a little wound up. He was also sweaty. About that time another Fella comes into His living room, He should have got it that I don't like that crap by the look on My face. Silly ass Faggot anyhow. In reality He was one of the last I would have expected to be Gay, dammit I thought the Guy was alright until then. I cannot wait to get this Job thru and go to Billings. I liked what I saw of it last Thanksgiving, a lot of pretty Ladies there that aren't afraid to smile at You, I like that. And it's away from all the silliness here in Seattle. People look at Me funny around the site when I say I am going to Montana. They can't understand what I don't like here, well for one You have way too many screwed up People here. Santa Monica and L.A. have a similar issue, but here it seems intensified. Even the People from L.A. that have visited here I am told hate the traffic, and that's from a So. Cal. resident. There are tents all around when You get over by I-5, in California They would have been moved out. Here it is a Homeless haven it seems. They can have it I say.

I Live? Wow!

I am still a Youngster I cannot deny. I have lived a Life I am still at odds with. I kick Myself hard for never joining the Navy right out of High School like I thought about, I sure as Hell would be a different Person than I have been in My Life. I see this straight as it gets too. I would have never met Sheila and sent Her Home crying. I would have never made Nancy cry either. I know for a fact I would have never wound up in Austin Texas and found My sorry ass walking into a party, and then be offered even more drugs than I should have been doing in the first place when handed a copy of Playboy like I was. This Playboy? Where is it now? I would give most anything to read it just once. A lot happened that year, Reagan was shot and John Lennon was killed, and there was a mysterious death of a Playmate all in the same fall. I am curious to how powerful these People are. I understand I am speculating here, but these are not Choir Boys We're talking about. I have a good hunch that old Hugh really is in the Mob, I remember something way back when about Him being looked into. I just have one thing to say to those type, You aint shit.

My Life so far

   The computer? What an amazing discovery. I am in fact infatuated by it. I have though come to a conclusion, Facebook has a lot of lies at times. I stopped following a few sites already and plan too remove more. Other than that, My Life still sucks. I cry and cry about the pain I feel. Today was harsh. I wonder how much more I can cope with. I am the laughing stock of America and it is well documented. You know when I said I was in Cheyenne and spent four months in county jail for doing nothing? I am the one that found the lies in the reports and pointed it out to the appointed Attorney. These People were supposed to be honest hard workers in the eye of the public, They were nothing but rotten eggs in My opinion. If You think for one second that it is known as an Adult to bother another Human Being You are seriously mistaken. A Man? Yes, I must ask for I am still in My Youth. But I have witnessed enough People on the face of the Earth to say I am wise to the ways of the World. I wish You all a farewell, Kelly.

Pathetic aint I

You would be shocked at how many times I have thought of suicide in My Life. I just keep going because I know in My heart that I have a realistic chance at living a better Life then the one I have known. It's like what I read in a book once, if You quit it very well may have been the day before everything fell into place, not the exact words but the meaning is the same. So here I sit, waiting for My chance in Life to actually be happy. It's things like what I just wrote that hurt inside. A fact is a fact, and it is a fact that in My Life I have actually never been happy. My face is always frowning. My Aunt dies about seven years ago, when I viewed Her at the funeral She was wearing My frown. I know My Mother well, She would have done such a crazy thing. That one alone I understand sounds like a lie, "Who in the Hell would do that at a funeral?", I know. Again, I am not known as a Person that tells fables just to see Peoples reactions or to think I'm smart, I My Friends am an honest soul. Lord, please see it that I find the help I seek and soon. Amen

Give the Fool a chance

Hello out there, how the Hell are Ya? Today We want to talk about fairness. It seems to be lacking in the World as I know it. Fairness would have this Richard Pattison behind bars, I am not seeing that happen. Why? Is My question. I have a rage building up inside of Me that I want to let loose when I think of this Person and what it is that He has done. In reality I have lived My Life known as a "Space Case" and it bothers Me immensely. I would love to run into this Boy someday and kick Him in the teeth and elbow His silly ass so hard He'll never forget it and that is known as a fact of life. I admit I went to Santa Monica in hopes of doing that and worse. I know I could have stabbed Him easily after all the crap He has pulled. Richard, if You do read this I just have this to say, that's a damn good way to get Your ass shit Pal. Kelly McGill here saying so too.

worth reading Today

I am sickened by all of this crap I am seeing in this Country. You actually allow this Richard Pattison to walk all over Me, and Kid's find it amusing? There are People raising cane about a Lion that was shot? Good God Man it's an Animal that would hunt You down and eat You. Bruce Jenner is now Caitlin? And receiving awards for it too? All I am is a slightly retarded Kid that was set up for a fall, that should be in the media instead, but no I am not a priority. We are in deep shit in America because the People of Today don't see any wrong with something like what is going on in My Life, way too many Kid's out there for a fact. Even back in the 60s, if the crap that is going on, speaking of the Terrorist and the likes, it would have came to blood shed already. But no, We have to be sensitive. These People You're walking on egg shells around don't give a rats ass about You and want to kill You, but let's be nice to Them. God! Hello out there, You had better start to look at everything in an eye that isn't closed to reality. All I want is justice, and You would rather cry over a damn animal then assist Me. You have to wonder about the reasoning of the Terrorist, why do You want to kill such innocent People as the Americans? Hell just leave 'em be They'll destroy Themselves. Have a wonderful fucking day, Kelly McGill.

This suks

Hell I even tell You that I want blood and nothing.

Murder one

   If You actually think that I am not mad enough to go to Wenachie Washington and shoot one William Ogden Rowley right in the head You had better look again. They purposely set out to alter My thinking, and succeeded too. I am in no way the same Person I was when it all started. My train of thought was one that didn't even know that People play Their silly game. I was a natural in the manner in which I saw everyday life. I was set upon by My so called Friends and I hate the thought of that truly. I will insist on My word being better than any of those involved because I am the one speaking the truth. I am really at a loss when I see how They can do whatever They please and nothing gets done about it. It is sickening to say the least.

I try

I really wonder if I am even getting My point across here. Good God this Life sucks bad. I doubt if a single one of You out there truly understands the pain I live with daily. It is a mess of a Life that's for damn sure.

Hello again

    I have said it time and time again, I hate doing this crap. Just signing in I start getting depressed. And then I get pissed off at what it is about. I am a Victim! Give Me My chance at these People. Do You completely understand what I am saying here? In a Country that brags about how great They are I see a lot of not so great things. Richard Pattison is just a small item in this category, but dammit He is a mean Bastard that needs taken. I know this Boy pretty damn good Folks. I can see Him easily manipulating People. Him and His Pal Bill Rowley are nothing but Frauds. They both know exactly what I am about. Neither one of Them can honestly call Me a Liar and that is a fact. I want so bad to go over the pass and go to Wenachie and take this Bill Rowley apart. My problem is this, I would kill the Mother Fucker and that is a fact. When I see how I was taken advantage of and left with a spinning mind I want blood. I say this so those in authority that are watching this can see My real dilemma. People, what They have done to My Life is a killing offense. I guarantee that if it had been done to one of My Family I would have already paid Mr. Rowley a visit. I refuse to fight Him fair too, He doesn't deserve a fighting chance over this. He would be damn lucky if I don't put Him in His grave. In other words Somebody had better act quick before it's too late.

I am not a Fraud

   Hello again. My plight in Life is not an easy one, I suffer from irreversible brain damage. I stated before that as a two year old I took a fall. There would be a medical record in Lander Wyoming from around 1962 or '63, I know it was in the fall or late summer because there was no snow on the ground yet. I know in My heart that that alone has caused some serious issues in My life, like not realizing what is happening right in front of My face.  Sheila and Nancy both are proof of that. I as a Human Being suck. My life is screwed up and I see now how it took place. As I have said I was asked to join a Band and didn't even know a guitar chord, that in My eyes proves the guilt of Richard Pattison Bill Rowley and Their Friends. When I landed in Riverton Wyoming this last time I was therefor one reason, I even told My Mom this, to shed blood. I knew if I let these People know though that They were to smart to show up where I am and that They know about this that I write too. It had been close to seven years since I had been there and really had no inclination of even going there until I thought I might just run into one of Their Pals there and show Him what I thought about Their dirty little trick. My reasoning being is because I really don't want to be around My Family. My Parents say things just to mess with Me Themselves. I was told some far fetched crap too. I won't go into that at this time though because I am a bit bothered by it. Please Somebody out there follow up on this for Me.

Crap!!!

   Well? When is Richard Pattison going to go on trial? This Scoundrel is deserving a swift kick in the ass, if not worse places. I just cannot understand how it is that nothing is being done.

Welcome to My nightmare

   A nightmare is exactly what I have been living for over three decades. I tell You, if People would have left this Kid alone I would have amounted to something. Instead I am a drunken Fool. Shoulda I believe I mentioned is  song about just that, but hey Nobody cares.

The Kid is a mess by God.

   Hell I have been crying for over four years now, that alone has Me disturbed. Yes, I am disturbed. I have accosted Women too. That I heard was an insult to Women way back when, now We have dictionaries. Yep. Accosting means approaching. Kid's, when a Woman looks Your way, dicifer the look first and then act accordingly. Me? Hell Son I done told You about a Fool Kid, get it straight Child. A fact is a Fact My Friend, and I see them clearer everyday. Hello, a Citizen. Kelly.

Turmoil

   In this great place known as America, We watch Our lives being disrupted. Yesterday In Tennessee there was another attack by Our Enemies. I was in Killeen when Nadal shot those Soldiers, I was off duty at the time as a Cab Driver there. I know exactly where the building is that this took place. People are yelling now to arm the Men and Women on base and I can't agree more. There is one major draw back, the Military has been infiltrated by the Enemies of America. I have not felt easy about that since I first found out how many Foreigners there are in the forces. I also see that the Men in charge are not silly little Kids playing games, You can bet Your ass They see the danger right in front of Them at the present and have a plan for when the shit does hit the fan at full speed. I said it before that a very large explosion went off a little after three am in Killeen, it sent five shock waves through My part of town. A Soldiers cry for help I was told once by a Marine. There was a War feeling about the town after that, and the fear in the eyes was plain to see. I do not like being here in Seattle because of the situation America is in either. I also said that the trade towers attack made Me write a long letter and hand deliver it to the F.B.I. in Austin, I know They still have it too. But just the other day I let it out on Facebook how I see Our vulnerability. A planned attack in the right manner would cripple this Country leaving the survivors with little chance of making it. We have cargo ships daily coming into Our ports, and I feel this is possible My Friends. Let's say They were to put a nuclear bomb in a few of those containers They bring in, then You have it set up to have them all go off at the same time in every major port in America? Scary. Enough said!

Give Me a break

   I really don't like it when People tell Me that I look sad. I finally found a bar in My area that is close to normal. I walk in and order a beer and some Gal buys it for Me and tells Me it's because I look sad, I really can't stand that. Then one of Her Friends gives Me one of Her birthday cupcakes and She too tells Me that I look sad. Hell I completely understand that I look sad because I am sad dammit. I sure as Hell don't want Someone to remind Me of it. It pisses Me off so bad that I will refuse to even try to talk to Anyone that says that kind of crap to Me. I know They're trying to be nice in Their minds, but really if You see Someone down like that leave Them alone. I am a stubborn Bastard that's for damn sure.

F-in' Heimer

   You want to know just how much of a sad sack I really am? Not enough that I am writing about My screwy life I guess. I was such a Pansie My Sister used to pin Me down. That in itself shows how I was treated. My oldest Sister said I beat the Girls up, if one of Them could pin Me down I am sure all four of Them would have kicked My ass easy. But hey, it's not about that. It's about some worthless piece of shit getting away with doing the dastardly deeds He has been doing for years. This Richard Pattison is no way a normal Human Folks, You take those kind of People down in the real World. Sincerely this dumbass, Kelly.

Monday again

   All I can ask for is for something to really happen. I am discouraged by it all, but I have to continue with My struggle. Someone please take these little Kids down for Their crimes, seriously.

Here I sit

   How in the Hell are You? Me? Well I'm still kickin'. What a Bastard of a Life Folks.

Shitty day aye?

  I hope to Hell that Karma catches up to these Assholes.

Today's World

   I have to say that it's a pretty sorry World when People would go out of Their way to help an Animal before They would lift a finger to set My life straight. Seriously a messed up Planet We are living upon.

Breaking news

  The headlines Today should read "Man found shot to death for being a Prick." but no that will not happen. For one I don't know where Richard Pattison actually is, and another the papers seem too lie a lot these days. It would more likely say, Richard Pattison, a Man well liked by His Peers was found with a fatal bullet wound to His head. Even President Obama has lowered the flag to half mass for this senseless murder. Richard is survived by numerous Friends that grieve His sudden passing and hope the Person or Persons involved are found and brought to justice. His closest Friends remember Him as a caring young Man that didn't have an Enemy in the World. Such a great loss to the World, and such a tragic ending. The reason being is that America is failing at being honest. We have a culture that allows such atrocities to happen and not give a damn. Hell most of Today's Children find it overly amusing. It' is an ugly situation We face in America due to this sour attitude.

Dammit all

I am so disgusted right now, I didn't have a clue what I was going to write but once I started this is what You get. I really am seeing it now, I don't have a chance in Hell. Christ on crutches!

One day at a time

   Give Me a break! They allow Richard Pattison to be a big time winner? He is a farse to say the least. I face up to My life daily Folks, if I were lying I would have quit this crap by now. Come on!

No smart Ass remarks

   God I hurt inside. "Don't hold it in it'll eat You up.". As I grow older the pain for this Woman intensifies immensely. I hurt Her and that tears Me apart inside. I said I cried for a year, during that time I thought I had a chance at finding Her. I put out a classified in the Austin American Statesman that read, Nancy where are You? I've come to My senses. My heart jumped when it was answered by a Gal, She was looking for a Female. I went to Austin and went through the old adds in the Library, I found one from that same time that read, "Broken hearted Woman wanting to dance His memory away.", this is extremely painful to put in writing here too. It's an unfair World I am the last Person that needs to be reminded of that. I still get the looks from Gals is the main reason I even live. For a Guy that weighs 235 and should be at 185 I do get Women's attention, to My surprise still. I have messed up teeth and I have lost a lot of hair to boot. On the other hand I have a good set of arms and My chest isn't all that small, I can see the definition in My abs as well. I drink too much beer for one thing, but I walk a lot and practice My speed of hand and foot. I may be a basket case, but dammit I have potential still at My age to make something out of it. Hell, I didn't ask to be a Dummy, nor did I inquire any acid back when it all started. Kelly McGill here saying have a grand fourth, and be careful out there, We have way too many People wanting to cause problems in Your life.

DoYou really care?

   I am at a crossroads here, where to go? But it seems People just don't give a Rat's Ass for a slow witted Kid anyhow. Damn!

Honery cuss anyhow

   I just quit My job, but the Boss talked Me into staying a while longer. I even told Him I had planned on quitting when the framing was done already. He talks to Me like I don't have a clue what I'm doing. He has been asking Me about the fire sprinkler crew and telling Me to get Them on the site for three weeks now, We don't even have a full floor for Them to finish so I don't want to bring Them out to partially finish it and leave. When He said I have to have some proof that I'm even talking to Them He asked what proof do I have, I told Him My word is My proof. He then started to say something about how My word isn't any good and I politely told Him how I felt about that and a few other things. His Brother and Him both try to treat You as a lesser Human Being in My eye. My first day on the job I saw how His Brother is, He had made a mistake and argued with the Superintendent on the job then. He told Him He doesn't fix things. Wow. Every Carpenter will make mistakes, some will get You canned quick too, but that is the first time I have heard one say He doesn't fix things. That just tells You how I feel about it. I told You before I was interested in Montana, so Billings is where I'm headed soon. If it weren't for the Owners of the building I am working on I would have already been gone, They're great Guys and I wouldn't want to stab Them in the back by leaving when the job is just now really starting to roll. One thing I will not be called, besides a Liar, is a Back Stabber, My name is not Rowley nor Pattison either one, I just won't do it.

Here We go again

   What the Fuck Chuck? Why do I have to plead with People to take down a piece of garbage? These People don't deserve to be high rollers like They carry on to be. Insanity is rewarded I see.

My true calling

   I have it figured out, I am supposed to bean Author. I have started a few book ideas but have yet to finish any of them. My latest one I am sure will do good. I cannot tell You at this time what  it's about, but I feel it has a good plot to it. What I need to do is get busy on it I know. A copyright is as easy as sending it in really, getting Someone to buy it is another. I am a copyrighted Musician and believe Me when I say that as fast as They get Your copyright to You there are already Companies sending You stuff. I had two companies contact Me quite a few times too. But the way They sounded I was leery, I even walked into a Lawyers office and showed the paper work to Him. It wasn't His field but He felt that one of Them may not be legitimate so I gave up on both of Them. In the first place They wanted money from Me. If They want My music I am sure They would be offering Me money instead. A book seems an easier way to go to Me. Again all I have to do is apply Myself. I have started around four stories but have yet to complete one. I used to get A's in a class called different perspectives because of My ability to come up with stuff, so I think I'll work harder on My new idea. Wish Me luck will Ya? Sincerely, Kelly McGill.

Sick and tired

   I am already tired of Seattle. I stayed away from My apartment all day Saturday and Sunday because of My neighborhood, the Gay parade was going on and there's no way in Hell I'm even going to be seen walking down the same street. Another thing is You can't park in a decent spot. You have to pay money to the City to even park on the street in front of Your house, knutts. I really can't stand the job much either. So I am looking into Billings Montana. I was checking it out before, I went there for Thanksgiving and liked the way Women are towards Me more than here. When I took on the job here I was really wanting out of Riverton Wyoming because that little town gets to Me after a while. Since graduating in '78 I have never stayed there as long as I did the last time. Usually after a year there I'm wanting to see something new. The pay isn't much lower than here in Billings, and the rent is much better. My main reason for even coming to Seattle is that I had never been here. I hope to see all of the U.S. before I die and now I've covered a part I had been wanting to see. Seattle is definitely one of those places that is a nice place to visit, but I sure as Hell don't want to live here. So onward I say.

Cowards

  I refuse to call Children Men. You see it all the time where so Kid did something and They'll say "This young Man." or similar. A Man is in no way a Child, these People that tried to completely destroy My mind and are now out there screwing with My life are exactly the type I mean too. Richard Pattison is the same age as I, fifty five year old. Do You know that at this age They start calling You a senior Citizen? I can even get the discount in a lot of places, even though I never try. But I will not lie and call Myself a Grown Man, I am honest with Myself. I am way too old to be screwed with by Children like these. I've said it before "There are some things a Man just doesn't do." and that is a fact of life. I have been the Foreman on many crews since I was twenty three, that alone says that I'm not all that fucked up, damn glad I didn't do the ether, but I can make the stupidest mistakes. All I have ever really wanted in life was to keep My head above water, I've near drowned in that aspect. But now I am at an age I want a decent life, I had a fairly good start to be honest. I would enjoy having a life with no worries, but it never fails something always blocks My path. I was wandering through life so lost that I didn't even realize I missed middle age. I feel that is around thirty five and forty, seriously at that age I was truly lost. I told You about crying for a solid year, seriously I cried everyday. I attempted suicide then too. I still have a life that hasn't been able to really get His shit together, but I am a different Person now. I don't have the anger I used to have for one thing, I was "Mad at the World" to be honest, now I try to let it roll off My back. Enough said, have a great weekend.

Post 741

   With 741 posts I should have Your attention by now. "The Rich get richer.", wow. And, "Bad things happen to Good People.", another wow. I really cannot understand how these People blatantly mess with Me on a National scale and get away with it. I am dead serious about all of this.

A day to remember

   I've had a lot of days I'll remember, and Yesterday is one. I decided I'd take My company truck down and wash it. While sitting at a light I watched an Oriental Woman standing at the intersection. She started crying and covering Her face. The second time She did this another Woman walked over and asked if She was alright. The Oriental Gal took hold of Her arm, when She pulled away She reached for Her other arm. After pulling away the second time the Oriental Gal put Her finger down the front of this Ladies blouse. That didn't set well and She tried to walk away, the Oriental Gal wasn't going to let Her leave so She started running, the Oriental Gal started chasing Her. The light changed and I kept watching as I drove off. She didn't really seem like She was going to get violent to Me. I still think I should have went around the block and tried to help Her. It is that way in the Cities, "We don't want to get involved." is the saying, and I am sure that is what is happening with My plight, Nobody cares. I guarantee seeing that Yesterday doesn't set well with Me. I knew as soon as I saw this Woman crying like She was that She was not mentally stable, You live in the streets for a while and You see People different then before. Seattle is a crazy place I have to say that.

Today

  In America at this time in Our history We are going through some wild crap. The Confederate flag is being taken down, Muslims are telling Us how to live, and We are near an all out War on American soil. Why? Do We just let People run over Us? I Myself have always been the one that would get run over, but not as much now. Because I have been through it on the other side I see it clearly. Bullies are what We are facing in My opinion. They are leading Us into a fight for Our Lives. Most Americans will fight, but I'm seeing a lot that just want to be left alone. I for one am one of those that wants to be left alone too, but when others push You finally say enough and retaliate. We really need to open the eyes of America's Youth before They find Themselves in a predicament in which They are either fighting for Their Lives or in a concentration camp because They didn't think it was important enough. I feel that a lot of these People coming to America want exactly that, We killed the Indians and put the Survivors on Reservations. We really are in deep shit Folks. And People like this Richard Pattison and Hugh Hefner are the types They are after in My opinion. They do strange things in the eyes of the World. This messing with a Kid on T.V., and publishing a smut mag are not actually normal to People of the World. It just shows You how screwy America is. Let's do something now, Kelly McGill.

Seriously

I am a little pissed off right now. When I see how these People are and Nobodies doing a damn thing about Them I get hot. This down right nonsense to let some Kid do whatever He pleases. Richard is a spoiled little Kid. When He was'nt allowed to do what He wanted He ran away from home. I really doubt if He ever spoke to His Dad again. This Child needs bent over a knee and spanked for real. Richard knows I'd beat the crap out of too, He thinks He's a bad ass but He is mistaken. Put this Person behind bars now. I would if I could.

Still here

 Dammit Man, it has been a long time since I started this crap. I have been through a lot since I began this plea for help. I see all the time now how the Police are getting a bad reputation. I have sure fire way to make Yourselves look better, take down some Criminals. Sounds simple. But no People with money get away with crimes. Why? Who do They know? I guess old Hugh Hefner might have some big shot in His pocket. I've been hearing things about the old Boy that make Him seem like an Ass. I in My Youth have had a Life that still has Me spinning a bit. I'll refresh the beginning here for You. I had just gotten out of the shower and went to turn on some music. I look down and Pink Floyd's Animals was on the turntable. Bob Pace would have been the only one that could have put it there. The timing was perfect too. Before I could start it a knock was heard on My door. When I answered it Freda 'Fred' Mares was there. She asked if I wanted to buy some acid. Having never done any before, and not being all that bright, I said, 'I guess so'. I was so high I was playing lead with the album, air guitar. A week later I get out of the shower and go to the stereo, this time there is a cassette of Rushes 2112 sitting right on top of it. Again, before I could even play it there was a knock on the door. Low and behold it's Fred again asking if I want to buy some acid, 'Yea I guess so.' was again My reaction. That night turned My life. On My next payday I bought My first guitar. It was right after the 2112 trip that Bill Rowley said that, "Richard wants You to join Us in a band.", I barely knew how to hold the instrument. That summer acid kept showing up too. Every time I was asked to buy some I had the same reaction, 'I guess so.'. So I guess They can just do it and get away with it? Wow.

Dang Kid won't quit

   "Nice Guy's finish last, so no more Mr. Nice Guy!", it pays to be a nice Guy at times, like the apartment I just breezed into. Not like $800. a month for a studio is all that great, but I move in this afternoon with no money up front. The Owner of the building I am building owns other property and found a spot for Me. He also knocked some off the price for Me to boot. Along with a month to month lease agreement I think it will do. I have never been to a City like Seattle before, even though the aire here is familiar with Santa Monica's. They started building houses and never stopped it seems. You can drive for miles and all You see are houses. I've been to a lot of Cities and have never seen a set up quite like this area. One bad thing about My place is that it's directly centered in what is known as a Gay area. I have been sleeping in the truck the last few weeks and stayed close to the job. It is tougher than Hell to find a spot where You'll not draw attention. Homeless People here are different too. I saw a Homeless town like none I've seen. They actually had port-a-Johns. The whole area was fenced off too. Their tents are pitched on top of an elevated platform as well. I bet You money You don't even venture into the area if You're not a decent enough Person to be there. Meaning I think They Police Themselves in there and You will be tossed out for messing up. Anything that would make the City want to tear down Their little town definitely would not be advised. Well? How's the case against Richard Pattison going? If there even is one.

I really hate this

   Just coming up with a title for this silly ass shit depresses Me.

Hello

   I am a lousy life and I seek help. I hurt so bad last night for Nancy I question My sanity for even suffering through the pain I endure daily. I am the original nice Guy Folks. I am new to Seattle so I have been walking around the Capitol Hill area to learn it, it's a Gay area so I won't be learning any more around there. But as  was walking I saw a good looking young female and knew right away She was Homeless, once You've been out there it's easy to spot even when They don't look like most. I gave Her $20. and told Her I'd even be willing to help Her get out of the streets, I'm readily willing when buzzed up pretty good. About that time some Kid comes walking up and asks Her if I need stabbed, it didn't set too well with Me but I kept My cool. As soon as I walked off though I was dialing 911 and told Them where He was and what had taken place. My point is that even when I try to be kind to a Stranger something always back fires. Thus is the Life of one Kelly McGill. Hey, I am the Victim here. I am not the Sleezeball that would walk into a public place and start killing People, but I am the one that would take You out for doing so. Sincerely, Kelly McGill.

What the????

   Hey! Why is this Richard Pattison still out there? I understand there are worse Criminals then He, but God Dammit I want justice served now! If You cannot tell I am pissed off about this. I really hate this Person for what He has done and for what He is doing. The facts are that if You are allowing this You are an irresponsible Human, for if I did run into Him and took His life I gave You fair warning on how I feel about it. These Children are nothing more than that, Children. You do not truly understand the anger that arises when I think of how They can get away with such a vicious thing. Good God.

Is Anyone even caring?

   I love Nancy. That is how My day starts and ends in reality. I hurt so bad for a Woman I don't really even know. When I see Her standing there helpless and crying as I try to understand what is happening right in front of Me, and I see this everyday too, I hurt seriously worse then I can put down in words. In My opinion I am a deserving Person. I am not a Murderer, a Rapist, a Molester, Thief or really even a Bad Person. I hate Life is a fact, because My is an odd one for sure. It is amazing how some People can be the biggest Jerks and win, when a Guy like Me tries His damndest to get along and it back fires. Go figure.

An outrage I say!

   Here I am again at this sorry ass attempt at justice. It is reality what I say has happened, there is enough proof on national television to say that I am being screwed with. That alone has Me seriously pissed off at these People, rub it in My face will You? This Richard Pattison is nothing more than a over grown Child, I may have My own youthful exuberance to deal with but I sure as Hell am not as childish as this character. I find it insulting and demeaning. I insist on respect in this matter. I am bewildered at how He can get away with such B.S., if it were Me I know I'd be in jail by now because that's My rotten luck. I sure as Hell hope there is Someone out there reading this that has some pull because this is past the point of ridiculous. Good God Man!

My little Llife

   I am insignificant I see. It matters to Me and no one else it seems. It is an outrage!

Hopelessness

   When I say that I was as helpless as any Human Being could being My Life I tell no joke. I stood there and stared at Sheila's body until She was so scared She hid under the covers. I stood there and stared at Nancy's body to the point that She fell in love with this little Kid standing in front of Her. Sheila has fell in love with Me twice and both times I ignored Her because I saw a little Girl standing there. I see now that Sheila and Me would have had a good marriage. Nancy scares the crap out of Me. In the past I have ruined lives, but I had nothing to do with it in reality. I cannot be held responsible for My actions in either situation. I can say without a doubt that both of these Women would back Me up on this, neither one of Them had Their senses at that moment in Our Lives. "Love is blind.", and it sure blindsided Me. And to let some Boy like this Richard Pattison to get away with the crimes He has committed is an outrage. I insist on living for some odd reason.

I can't quit this crap

   I did keep from writing this junk for a spell, but here I am back at it. I am honest when I say that there have been attempts made on My Life, I have no idea for sure Who did it, but I sure as Hell know Someone did. I told You how I had My head hugging the ground when a bullet went hissing by. I am at a loss on what to do about all of this.

Over 13,000 pageveiws

   With that many People having read My crap You'd think Someone would have investigated it by now. I went to the top of the U.S. Marshals by contacting the head office of a department. I did'nt do it in a normal manner though. I would call at night and leave a message on the recorder. On the third or fourth call I yelled at Him to do asking why Richard Pattison is not in jail. I contacted the F.B.I. in Austin Texas in the same manner. When I went to the U.S. Marshals in Cheyenne I did walk into the building. An Officer met with Me at the entrance and sent Me to the U.S. Attorny's office. When I went in I was handed a form to fill out, I wrote what I felt needed to be said. I even wrote on the back of it. Nothing. I even called a U.S. Marshals phone line so much I was told to stop calling, no shit. But here I am still struggling with this attempt to bring down these arrogant little Kids, nonsense! I ssay it again, there is not a Grown Man on the face of the Earth that would allow what these People are doing, fact.

The Baddest Mother on Earth?

   I might just be on U-Tube. I was walking home from the Bar a week or so back. When I get drunk I practice Karate while walking. As I passed a car lot three Guys came running out, one said something about some serious Martial Arts. I was a bit confused and said something and walked away. By the time I reached the end of the block one of Them caught up to Me in His car. He had His phone cam going and wanted to film Me so I showed Him some simple moves. I admit I'm not all that tough in reality, but I am a fast Son of a Bitch. If You do find it You'll see the same Kid that walked up to the Playboy Mansion with a guitar on His back, only no beard now. Just like saying something Today is all, so You Folks have a great day.

Hello again

   Last night? I had a thought, it was a terrible on too. I thought that if I killed Myself all of it would end, I had the clearest insight I think I've ever had right then too. I knew that suicide was the perfect escape. But I have mentioned before My reasons for living. One has kept Me alive for a few years now, We are at War. I have had experiences in My life I have spoke of about being the baddest Mother on Earth. And I know that if all Hell broke loose on American soil I would probably win a battle or two and not even remember it. That is the way of My life. Another reason is stuff like this, I feel I need to open the eyes of the Youth in America so They can grow. When America changes the World changes.

America, Land of the Weird.

   I went to Packwood Washington two weekends ago for Their wild Flea market deal They have twice a year. I was standing there eating when a Man walks up and flat out asked Me if I'm that Guy from Wyoming, no shit. While in the same spot at least three others all blurted out something about Wyoming. What the Hell is going on? Is there Someone showing My face out there? This land is about to self implode People, stop screwing with Kids like Me. How many times does a simple Kid getting screwed with have to go off and kill a bunch of You Assholes before You understand? You People are nothing but Jerks most of the time, get a grip.

A born Loser

   I went out last night to a local sports bar that I can walk to. While sitting there I notice some Girl and Me kept looking at each other. She was I'd say in Her late twenties. This Kid had too many tattoos for Me so I was'nt really interested. When Her and Her Friend  were leaving I looked over and She again was looking at Me. The look on My face is an ugly one I am sure and She saw one of My stupidest looks right then I know for sure. I got a little friendly also with the neighbor Lady, kissing a lot is all, and She told Me that the pain I have inside Me is all over My face. I was'nt really interested in a Girlfriend and told Her that so that's over. You know I hate this shit. Just writing this has Me so close to just breaking down I can't stand it. Have a great life out there.

God help Us

   The title says it all. In America We allow these type of People to do what They please, Wow. I really doubt if any Police have even looked into this shit. I am not a game player like this Pattison Kid. I am a real life that has had it so rough I am still amazed that I even live. I hurt so bad inside I wonder how much more I can stand. Give Me the help I deserve please.

72k

   I have'nt been on here in a while, a lot has happened since then. I was offered a job and took it. I am now the Superintendent on a project in Seattle Washington. I tell You this because I am real close to Bill Rowley. I in no way made this move to track the Boy down. It is nothing like when I went to Santa Monica looking for Richard Pattison. I will whoop the Boys ass for Him when I see Him, but I'm not going out of My way to find the Kid.

March 25th, 2011

   Four years? I wish I could as They say turn the clock back and rearrange My Life, but impossibilities are reality. Pain and confusion is actually what I have lived with since the early eighties. A Child on this Planet is all. I want to say more then I will accomplish here Tonight, but see no real sense in it. I shut off My internet connection Today because They jumped My bill to $20. more. In America You don't even need service, even Here in Wyoming I can go drink coffee and get on here. I'd rather live a different Life then the one I have been. "It's sucks being You!", is a common saying here In America.

Money does talk I see.

   The only thing I can figure is that these People actually are paying some Mucky Muck off. "Richard Pattison, Killeen Texas!", among the other shows proves Their guilt, but yet I am left holding the bag? Grow the Fuck up and press charges.

A Bitch of a Life.

   I learned the words, "Open Your mind.", at an early age. These are dangerous words to Me. They may mean, become a Terrorist, We're Queer it's alright or many other factions in America's crazy scene Today.  My main objective while writing this crap is exactly that, to open Your minds. I do admit that it never started out that way really, but now I seek another venue. Kid's Today are so lost it seems unfixable. I pray for the opposite. Murders, Rapes and Child molestation are heard of daily. I understand that with a large Population this is going to be abundant, but still unacceptable. I sure as Hell hope a Human Being is reading this and contemplating such activity. Being such I am asking You to grasp Your Life. If You are lost beyond a point where You have no self control kill Yourselves. Me? I would have if need be. I have had My own uncontrolled reactions in Life. I see right through You Folks when I say that I You look at this. I understand a Normal mind Folks. I never had mental issues until My Pals made sure I was stoned out of My Gourd, just shocked at a few things.

He was just a Dummy!!!

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Son of a Gun

   Myself? I would much rather be talking about Guacamole. You take Your Avocodoes, spelled wrong, and mash 'em together. Then add a splash of Pace Picante, instant hit. Another hit? Ranch style beans with Your Favorite meat, of course Pace again, instant chili. Two years of cooking school paid off. I am one that came up with Mac and cheese with picante, and never received a check. A Chef? Nah, I'm a retarded Kid that was taken advantage of. If I were a Cop?

Not a Winner

    I beat all Tonight. Try to use Your bifocal sunglasses for this crap. Forget it.

I said it, that means it is fact.

   My gllasses are in the truck. All I need to say before I recieve them are, Paul Velte.

Honesty

   Question My word and I will be a calm Human Being if Possible. "Are You calling Me a Liar?", is a bit more that a Clich'e, just be the right Person asking. If Bill or Richard asked? In the first place I have let it be known that either one would be snap kicked on site. I know the truth, I am not going to allow such Children try to explain. Liars are Liars Folks.

Law!

    If any of You are watching Me You already know, Again, I have contacted Gerry Spence on this matter Tonight.

No Games

   I sincerely want to live a productive Life. The sad thing is I was screwed up by My Pals. Hell I am the assistant Superintendent on a major Job, My question is, 'Where would I be if I were left alone?'.

The Kid won't quit!

   I have quit so many jobs in My Life over the span of thirty plus years. But to quit when You know You have Them dead to rights? They are for a fact screwing with My Life. Proof? Put this Boy to the test, I am begging You to. In a Court room with a Jury I would prove My case. I am as serious as I can be when I say I would demand no less then a Lie detector, and would go over board on My request for a chance to do anything that would make Me say the whole truth. I am a Life!!! These Cowardly Children deserve Time. I have been behind Bars, that feeling You get when You know there's no way out is not nice. Four months in Cheyenne Wyoming for supposedly hitting a Doctor? There is a perfect track of My journey since I started this. I am on film at the Playboy Mansion along with being allowed to walk through a scene of N.C.I.S. L.A. by Brain beach Santa Monica, the chess park next to muscle beach. I am as honest as a Human can be here and I was done wrong. People in America allow a lot of nonsense because of Their blind ways. People We are in reality as of this date on Earth in America at War. We are being infiltrated by Others wishing to kill Us. World War III would be needed in order to cleanse the Population. Children look back later Kids and see where They were so Green, it is amazing. At My age it does'nt take ten or thirty years to figure it out either. I still look at Old Gentlemen and see Myself, I lie to know one Not even Myself. Kelly.

Hell of a Life

   Mike Judge the Cartoonist lived at Reagon Hills in 1981, Right next on the same floor as Frannie, what's Her name? He was'nt around when the Playboy arrived But He sure made it big quick. I speak of a Playboy, I am positive all copies have been destroyed by now. I am sure that Hugh Himself may ave had a copy, but My personal one has long been lost after I started this. Again, I speak of this magazine actually doing this to My Life and I completely understand that it sounds made up. Proof is non existent and I am realizing it more and more daily. I seek justice for a crime that sounds like a fairy tale. My question is this, and I try to ask few when it comes to the World, 'Why are these Children fucking with Me?', pardon the French.

still tryin'

   This writing crap has crossed My mind a few times in the past week, I just did't want to gab about this sad sack of a Life. Once again I had some brilliant thing to say but forgot it by the time I warmed up the computer. I see Myself writing this crap and just hoping it works, dammit I hurt inside bad. I am the biggest Loser, and I do not exaggerate. Sheila, Nancy and a horde of nameless Girls along the way did a number on this little Kid for one thing, but the assistance of My old Pals in helping Me become a Musician left a Kid wandering through Life. I see The scam these People acted out clearly now. I say no lies when I say that in the mid eighties I was a messed up Kid. It never failed that drugs just happened along, and Me already being a bit fried? They achieved Their objective. Richard Pattison and William "Bill" Rowley are the reason I live as I do.

How to start?

   I want a Person brought down so bad I tell about a Life destroyed. Kids figure it out quick not to be like Us slow Folks, but Us slow folks can't help it, We're slow. Not meaning to be a Comedian here, Boy's when a Girl looks Your way and You're some shy Kid? Get over it and get over there. Me? Hell My Friend, the Women I speak of are astoundingly, astronomically..... Mind blowing beautiful. I was a Kid on the loose in a new World to Him and became love struck. That is what You have here. I regret many moments of My Life and writing this is not one. It gives Me a goal.

Here I sit

   Yes I sit and tell all. I use the name Bad Elvis, I own the copyright on that exact name. It is in the files at the Library of Congress. I said how My Sister Kay said something about a bad impersonation left on the answering machine, the night I recorded in Manchaca Texas I remembered that and said there's a name for a Band. I laughed My ass off. Kelly McGill's luck struck again, My tranny went out on cue. I have positive proof on this. I was towed to Killeen from north Austin and the next day paid to tow it back via the repair. I have had Eagle Transmissions in Texas rebuild shit before, They get it right. When the Salesman asked if there were any shops close by ask I asked in return, this is Eagle transmissions? And paid for it in payments before I drove it. Napa will do that I found out with a good deposit also. I told of being allowed to walk across the filming as a Homeless Person with a Guitar on His back, that is the same Person You will find on the Playboy Mansions security camera when I walked up to the gate. Hell ya I'm gonna do after receiving that Playboy. I wish I'd a read the junk! Man! What the Hell? I said They had the Kid stoned to the max.

How rough it is.

   I again remembered what I was saying when I had to pee. I had to write it down to remember it, that's how bad I want this. What I was saying was about when My story began. I told You about the drugs and Rock & Roll just happening along. They knew I listened to it and set it up so I would find it in plain sight. 2112 was a cassette tape laying on top of the the turntable, Animals from Pink Floyd was vinyl already on the turntable itself. Both times a Gal showed up with acid. Guilt is obvious.

Sunday Night?

   This whole thing started as a plea for help. Now I am talking about being a Drunk passed out in an alley. It was a Sunday I won't soon forget either. When I left the Bar I slapped a Friend of Mine on the back and said I had to leave due to My babbling. I was'nt saying anything insane, but it was a drunk talking out loud. I know in a City I might have had a problem with the People around Me quick if I did that, I know two of the Boy's at the Bar well and one I feel may be connected with Bill Rowley. Again that is speculation due to the fact that They were working at the Mines together and Hanging out a bit. I could name many People that I would say were involved in My demise. I said before about trying to remember what to wriet,,,,, I had to pee, this is what I came back to. I sure as Hell hope I'm getting through. This is just like work, I deal with Kids all day long. It is so tough to get a Kid to just see what's really going on. I am nearing a serious point in My Life to where I will just give up, "A cry for help!" Hell I'll admit to that. I feel this night should end proper, I am at a loss on the proper words though. These seem appropriate. Bah! I've found better, I just learned to watch My fingers and instead of what typing classes taught Me in junior high. Have a good one is even better.

Hopeless attempts

   I at least stayed out from behind the wheel Sunday night, but that does'nt mean I did'nt wind up plastered. I usually stick with beer and known when to go Home. But the other night I met My Bosses Son while at a Bar, I was asked if I wanted a shot. Normally I refuse shots just for the reason I will wind up like I did. I woke up in the alley face down in the snow. What saved My Life is that it has been warm here lately. The Kid at fifty four stills lacks judgement at times, but I knew I would be too drunk to drive when I left the House so I did show some smarts. I woke up Monday with a bruised hip and scratches on My face to remind Me what a Dipshit I am.

Another damn Kid!

   Here I am again. I have said before that I had all sorts of crap to say until I logged in and now nothing. I remember one though, this one is sure to shock You too. If I have the year right I was in the third grade. We were in the play ground of the Stanton California school I went to. All of a sudden I saw something I still consider odd. In My mind I was witness to these words. "I looked at Her and saw She was too good for Me, and threw Her back to the Wolves.". There are People that if They admitted to it were there. This Kid had a lot a Girls with Their heads down. The play ground was full of Kids that day, but when I looked around after seeing this There was but one Girl, She was running to get out of sight. This sounds amazing I know, but it's just like when Johnny Carson stopped in the middle of His sentence. Thus proving that Americans are not normal in My eye, Kelly.

Honesty is reality!

  Again no specks Tonight, They're in My truck. Hey! I am speaking to You! In a Grown World You are a Child. I sat this to You People due to the fact that I see very few, and I mean so few it is disturbing, Full Grown Adults in America. The Children will say that I am just saying this to begin with. I am a Person that has since I was three years old witnessed the difference between Young and Old, fact. Again, it is like this crime committed against Me it is unprovable at this point as far as the brain damage caused. But I see things clearer than You realize. Yes I am a screw up, but dammit I never asked for it.

Hello

   I am a Human Being. I have been brutally abused by People that I thought were My Friends to the point where I am trying My damdest to find a way, without killing Them, to bring Them down. I am not the Kid that finds this funny either.

Shit stinks!

   Again with no specks, so excuse the typo's. I am astonished to say the least, these People are allowed to do as They please? Give Me a break! I am the Victim, oh yea, They're rich. Do You People see what's going on in America Today, People are sick of this kind of shit. A fact is a fact. Wisdom is earned by learning, no other way. And the facts of Life are real too. These People are unwise and cruel Folks. I want so bad for Someone to take Me down for this. I spent four months in the Laramie county jail to prove Myself, I'd spend years behind bars just to bring these People to justice. Dammit do Your fucking job now!

"Mi Vida loca."

   Mi Vida Loca means My crazy Life. "Drama Queen." I am sure I am called, but hey I really do want to walk up and shoot some Asshole for doing what They did to My Life. What They are doing now really is'nt that important to Me, it's just what I feel I can bring Them down for, They attempted to totally destroy My mind People. I see where Richard thinks He's untouchable, Max Groenig and Others are screwing with Him, not Me He'd be saying. Let Me remind You that They are directly screwing with My Life. I admit it when I say that if Bill Rowley or Richard Pattison were to walk up to Me I would take Their Lives, seriously. I understand that this is a direct threat too. The thing is, Nobody is doing a thing about it. Threats are threats and there is no action taken against said People so Your hands are tied, but Boy I'd shoot Someone. Again, I say so for the attention I need to seek justice and I don't give a damn if I wind up in Prison for saying so, Kelly McGill.

Life's a Bitch

   I can hear most Folks saying out there that "It's too bad, the Kid took the acid." but the thing is I was a naive little Boy that was seen as such by these People.

Four whole years?

   On March 25th I will have been writing like this for four full years. I have approached the U.S. Marshals many times trying to get Them to take notice. I have left a hand written letter on the page I was given by the U.S. Attorney's office in Cheyenne even. I understand that I am going about this in an unusual manner, but I am actually afraid to go in front of Them. Knowing Myself I know I would have an emotional breakdown right in front of Them, I don't want that. I can sense that People are wondering if I am even stable. I went to California with violence in My mind, but I knew there was a very slim chance of running into this Pattison Person in that way. And yes I was on My way to Wenachie Washington where Bill Rowley lives with the same intent. Let Me ease Your minds a bit, I am not a dangerous Person to normal Lives. I am the one though that would not hesitate to take a Life when needed though, I have proved that twice. I told You about the Rapist in Indiana, and I admit I punched the gas pedal when I saw a Kid that was said to have drawn back His fist and was going to hit Laura Chiles when I was in High School. I knew that Kids Brother fairly well and see Him around town every now and then, Chris I feel never even did it. The way My Pals were I bet money They set it up so I'd get in a fight just to see what I'd do. They had no clue of what I really am. Those same Friends know now how fast I move. I am a natural at being so fast You can't stop Me when I am pushed to that point.

I cannot quit

   Here I sit talking about how I am the brunt of a joke. No Man jokes about another Human Life and that is a known fact. I wonder just how long I have to continue with this guff until I finally see some justice. I have had it rougher than most of You can understand, and it does'nt get any easier either. It's a sorry Person that does what this Richard Pattison does and that is a fact.

Bullcorn!!!

   Bullcrap is more like it. "Hefers crap too, They just don't brag about it!", is what My Mom always said, yep.

this is pathetic

   It is truly pathetic when I have to write this junk for four years and nothing happens. That in itself pisses Me off.

!!!!

   Just letting You know that I am still Here and not giving up that easy. Honesty is about all I really have in My Life, that in itself says a lot to Me.

"What Men?"

   "You call Yourself a Man?", "Who the Hell would call that Mature?", "Damn!" My favorite. I have said it before that I was a Kid that paid attention when I was a Tike, I just hope that I am not the last Child to watch Adults. Needless too say I know better. The thing is, People are different then They were in 1963. I Myself am at a point in My Life where I  am wondering how I  missed things from that era in My Life, The "Grown." feeling did grasp the attention of a three year old. The mind of a Child. A Kid can become a different Person faster than the blink of an eye, fact. But when Another sets out to cause mental damage to Another it is unacceptable. I am a lost Soul seeking help, I understand it is pathetic, but God Dammit I hurt inside so bad I need a Refuge. My Life is at an end soon without it.

Me.

   As I sat in a Bar, an attractive, yet older Gal sits across the Bar. Our eyes meet, but yet I am too worried about being, 'not the one', again. Tonight She was an attractive Woman to begin with. She gave all the signs of being a Woman looking for love too. And yet I sleep alone. I do not write this shit to look bad either, that is of course My Life. No She was not in Love, but yes I was looked towards. Meaning? If the Kid had the guts to approach Her I doubt if I'd be writing right now. Sex in a small Town? I might see Her again though. Fault! I did the same thing for years after I met Nancy, 'I will see Her again.', were My thoughts and it kills Me. The night life here is still there, the only thing is, Nancy fucked Me up. I only hope that a realist reads this, for I am as real as I can be Here. Proof? That is My problem I am seeing here. Television is involved, there has to be a trail. Again, I have to prove I am the Being these Children find amusing.

Still

   Yet again I have to go to the Web and seek a way to bring some Boy's to justice. I would really be wondering about it all if I were the one reading some Fool write about this. Especially after the time He has spent writing it. Years of My life have already been used in My attempt. It is Life I would rather forget and move on as a natural Life. I am known as a Person that gets promoted quick in the construction field, and I know I don't deserve it mostly. I am not smoking pot like I used to, but I can still make too many mistakes because of the Life created for Me. I insist that I speak the truth about this whole affair. I am real.

I am still here

   Been sick since Tuesday, but I'm still fighting here. I really am flabbergasted as the saying goes when I look at how these People actually are. There is no way in Hell They can be allowed to do what it is that They do. "Richard Pattison, Killeen Texas.", "Ah, I wanted the MaGilla Gorilla.", "Grandpa Kelly says Eeyah.", take Them to trial and I will prove what I say here to be truth. They have no morals or ethics to be the way They are. Any Person that deliberately sabotages another Humans mind and then finds it amusing to mess with Them is nothing more then a Child. As I have said before, I feel there is enough evidence in My eyes to bring these People down. My question is why are They still able to live free. Horrible Children are what We are dealing with.

"Silly Human pride."

    "She looked at Me all Googilly eyed!", I have been the Kid on the recieving end three times now. Sheila in '79 and again in '86 if I'm correct, and Nancy in 1982 in Austin Texas. I am a Lost soul seeking any help possible before I say enough. I have had enough contact with the Law in America it's hard to understand why I still have to continue. The proof in My opinion is right in front of Your faces  that this Richard Pattison is an out of control Child. He finds My Life amusing? This is My reality in Life, I survive.

2115?

   Here We are.

I am at a loss

   I see that I do have People reading this, and I sure as Hell hope it's the right ones too. My reasoning being is that I feel it all for not. Is this a waste of time or is it going to bring these Children to justice? I have My doubts about the justice.

How is Your Evening going?

   I would much rather be the casual Kid I always was just like the title. But Dammit I was wronged. The dishonorable manner inwhich Mr. Pattison clearly enjoys is nothing but a smug Child. You conduct Yourself as if it's a joke Son.

"Why Me?

   I really am surrounded by  People that are something, My Family. I get a call From My Mom and She tells Me My Dad's Sister told Them I had hit $100,000. at the Casino I am working on. Nope, I'd a been so far out of Riverton Wyoming as soon as I could. I may not win, but I just came Here to fight some People that need a serious ass whooping. The thing is I have put it out there and a fight will insue upon Our meeting again. I liked Billings when There on Thanksgiving. Looking at it for My position I am making around Laborer wages There. And the cost of rentals I have looked at. The main thing is easy to decide, the Gals sure seemed friendly there. It's easy to get Women to look My way, I'm seriously just a Dumbass. One fuck up after another. I have seen true love in the eyes of the two. And yet I am alone and really hurting over My sorry luck.

The Blahs

   Again I must say something just to do so. I really don't feel like talking to You this Morning, but I feel it is needed. I have said enough Today, the depression is setting in.

I'd rather Blog Myself

   Hello! How in the Hell are Ya. In a Childish manner I will repeat Children, "Pretty Good.". A lie I have told People for years too. I like My Own saying, when asked I'll say, 'Not worth a Damn.' , it really has an affect. I hate My Lifge and it was forced upon Me, question Me about it please, I dare Ya. I see America as a Country being over run Kid's, watch Your back. As far as the Police go, More than You comphrehend watch Yours. When Shit hit's the fan? They are Here to allow it. Who to fight is the question here. If America has enough sense to stick Together We have a realistic chance. You Kid's need to look at what I just said. Suppression?

Con Phresnsi'om

   Did I spell 'er right, meaning excuse Me. La Otra, the other, being another. Mine oblective being No Lentes aqui, no glasses Tonight. Hell I'm too damn lazy to go out in My stocking feet at around 25 degrees out. It got cold here for a spell with nearly a foot collected, close I'd say. My thoughts for Tonight are simple, but when I am finished I will make Grown Men look at what I say, and I say for a fact that not an Adult on the Planet will find it amusing, meaning They are not silly ass Children living La Vida Loca, the crazy Life. I coined a phrase in My mind, I have known the phrase "When the reality sets in", and I have seen it too. My Dad talking about His Cancer, which We hope it stays in remission, told Me that reality had'nt set in yet Himself. What I look at Today is the reality of being. I have seen Young Adults shocked by the difference between Themselves and Full Grown People before. I was shocked as I say at the age of two by a Dog, and in all reality I just figured another scenario to this Dog I was given. I was two. Dogs jump up. I stopped in My tracks and set His food down where I know He'd never reach it. That is what happened. The dumb Dog recognized Me and wanted to greet His Friend. People I remember receiving this Pooch, I was told to feed Him one day and never remember any playing with it before. My reality. I kinda went astray from My thoughts so I'll finish with what I really wanted to start with, 'The reality of a Full Grown Adult Life.'. I am sure this will even make mature People look at what it is that I am saying to the World. Thanx for giving a damn.

Come on already!

    I really cannot be Tweeting anymore just straight out. Damn I'm goofy. Hey You're witnessing My Life. Funerals have an affect on a Life. My old Friend Chico Martinez passed. I learned He had been a Volunteer Fireman Here for fourteen years straight. They blew the fire alarm with the doors open so We could hear. It's one of those thing's You know You'll think of that day for the rest of Your Life when You hear those alarms. It has Me, after leaving the reception afterward, feeling a bit lost. I know where I want to be though and it aint Riverton Wyoming. I sure liked the way the Billings Women acted towards Me when I was there for Thanksgiving. Craigslist show where I can get the same pay and not be the one pushing a Job. This town always lost it's flair after a very short spell Here to Me. I am surprised at Myself for spending so much time Here this time. I was born Here, but Riverton Wyoming can be a boring place to live. I came here with the intent of running into a few old aquaintence's with the hopes of calling Them out. I know for a fact I was set up is what I am saying. I want these People brought to justice and I in fact demand it. Something like that inside of a Person can eat Them alive, having figured out after years of suffering that Your suffering was caused by others. For years I just saw Myself as a waste that I Myself created. I never went looking for anything that began the Life of a mess. Drugs and Rock & Roll were set up for Me. That in itself is a bizarre thing to set up in My Life.

Radical Being

   I have learned the hard way, if You bitch enough You will get paid. I have done this as I say a few times too. I have had People that refused to pay for You employment. I will raise so much Hell that the Person involved is told either pay or else. I have yet to not receive payment. Which in Laymen's terms means I will not give up. How in the Hell do You allow such an Ass to do as Richard Pattison does? I live within a reality You Yourself would never understand. I witnessed Youth at the age of three, even Today I am still in shock when I Myself see the difference.