30 years later

   Damn My luck all to Hell anyhow. You know it's been almost to the day thirty years since I fell head over heels in love with a Woman I cannot be with. One that left Me so devestated that I cannot even try to talk to another Woman. There is a saying about losing the true love of Your life and not wanting Anybody else. There's also another, "Can't You tell? The Boy's love struck.", that one sums it up just right. I am truly surprised that I'm not crying Myself to sleep tonight, for the pain is nearly unbearable most of the time. All I want to say tonight is this, Nancy sweetheart, if You happen to read this, I want You to know and understand that I am so deeply in love with You and that I never intentionally broke Your heart. I was shocked so bad that I could do nothing about the fate of Our lives. You if Anybody should understand that, I witnessed You in a state inwhich You were out of control too. You truly have a big heart to be so loving towards an innocent Kid such as Myself, for I know that is what You saw standing in front of You with a puzzled look on My face after looking into those beautiful eyes of Yours. I sincerely love You and send My best wishes for You in Your life. With this said I will end for the evening, Kelly.

The Heartache Quake

   The Earth started shaking right under My feet, the whole World moved I felt it's beat, all I can say is that I felt the ground, and My World started tumbling down. Ever since that day I could understand, that on any given day life's a chance, You're supposed to take it one day at a time, so let's go out and see what We find. What I'm tryin' to say here is that life's too short, so don't wait around until Your times run out, a Person's really needs to know Thier way, I do hope that You know that way. Hey I've felt some pain here in My life, so I know exactly what I'm talking about, if You've got that heartache just let it go, Someone's out there I just know.          What You have just read is an actual song of Mine, it is copyrighted with out the final verse added in though. Yes it is about the pain I feel daily. People a Person should not go through life hating every minute of it, but I do. I can tell most of You can't deal with what I say, if You could I would have over three hundred followers, I have 97 at the time of writing this page. Hell as long as I have People reading this what do I have to complain about? Right? Myself? I would stay a follower until the Guy took Them down, how about You? I leave You with that thought. Kelly.

Cry Baby

   Ya, I have been known as a crier. I was sitting in My chair in My apartment at the Teton, where it all started, when I broke down and started bawling for no reason at all. Kent Jepson was there, He looked like He wanted to get up and run out of the place. Once at My apartment in Austin, where the Playboy was handed to Me, I started bawling again in front of Bill Rowley. What You have here is a Child that has been a bit out of control People. Pain? Yes I feel more pain than any Human should feel in Thier life time. That is just a part of My simple life though. I really do not understand some People, They just want to make a simple Persons life rougher than it needs to be. Bill even said something to Me about My crying once, if I remember right it was, "At least I don't cry.", Goddamn it Man leave a Guy alone will Ya? I have to share something I felt the other day, I was driving on a two lane road when I thought about the possibity of dying in a headon wreck, there was a thrill when I realized just how easy a Person can die. I understand that saying so is crude to say the least, but it is how I saw it at the time. When I speak of dying, I have to admit that I am not really relishing the thought of going right now. I know I have a chance at bringing these People down, be it a small chance it's still a chance. Well I'm more than likly boring You tonight, so I'll quit with that said. Sincerely, Kelly McGill

Today is what it is

   Hey, I have been doing this for over a year! And Goddammitt to hell I feel I deserve justice, which I also feel I will never achieve. Why? Because I am a slow Child? Ya, that's it. You know, it is a fact of life that this is going on, I am here writing it. My life is a screwy one if nothing else aye? I see what's going on out there, when the authorities look at what is going on They see a couple of professional Men at work. No it is not even close to being a pro if You mess with My life. And a Man? Not a chance. They are amatuerish in the way They approach My life in the manner that They do You cannot tell Me They are doing this on national television and calling Themselves Pros in doing so. I am what is known as a professional carpenter, even though I can screw up, My work is still done at a profssional grade. I will be the first to say that I wish I could accomplish some jobs with a better outcome. When I say that I can screw up, this does not mean that when I am finished it looks like crap. Hell I've seen some of the best, and I do mean best, mess up. I was taught by a Fella named John Lucas in Austin Texas, His words to Me were to make it look professional. I have been told by others, "Even if You're digging ditches, make it look professional.", I strive for perfection so if You're a little off You still look good, that is My opinion. Hey, I've got a couple of words for Ya tonight, I'm feelin' like sayin' 'em,"Mature Smature!", "Gods gift to Women!", "A little big for Your britches!", "I'll wipe that smile off Your face!", "Don't smile when You say that!", "Those are fighting words!", I do know that alot of these are known, but I just said what came to mind tonight. I sure a hell hope that Your lives are doing the right things in life, I doubt if any of My readers would intentionally mess a Fellas mind up for Thier own gain, so You Folks enjoy the lives You have, like You needed to be told, and stay the course of rightouesness, Amen. Sincerely, Kelly McGill.

Hell if I know anymore

   What the heck, I gotta say something even if I have very little to say today. I wonder if My phone has been called, I put the number on here a long time back. The problem is that I now have two phones and I keep the one just because I have had the same number for around four years now, it's a prepaid one that I put thiry five dollars on last january. I am curious if it has been called because I cannot access My voicemail on it. I have been getting calls, but since I keep it at the house I never have a chance to answer the thing. So I have a solution if some officer of the law or Anybody else that wants to call it to hear what an Idiot sounds like, just call (307) 231-5621. I do hope nobody calls just to hear what an absolute moron talks like though. If You really want to know just watch King of the hill. Like I said I knew Mike Judge before He made it big with His cartoons, He always said He could'nt understand what I was saying. I have ran into that a few times, hearing aids come to mind because it is a rare occurance. Even though, I have been called Boomhauer a time or two, once when We were loading some stuff on a truck I said, not mocking Boomhauer either, I said , 'Danged old danged old  covered wagons Man', because of the way it looked, everybody laughed and called Me Boomhauer. Ya, I'm probabaly made fun of thru that show too. What the heck, that seems to be the American way aye. Well I am wise to the ways of the World a bit more then these Children that screw with People at least, that may be the only thing I have going for Me aye. You Folks have a great day allright? Later.

Deserving?

   Ya I feel I am deserving. I am not a Rapist, Molester, Murderer, Thief, nor a Person that goes out of His way to destroy Somebodies life. I have lived an impossible life to say the least. I admit to My faults in a manner that if nothing else is outrageous ta say the least. I cannot say enough Folks that I was asked if I wanted some acid, then when I was peaking preety good was handed a copy of Playboy that I can say was made especially for this Kid sitting right here. Then They had the gall to ask if I wanted to huff some ether, good god Man, They were out to fuck Me up so bad that I'd be in a state of incompatence. This is a sad thing to realize that My Friends would stoop to such dastardly actions. The facts are there People, Johnny Carson, Tyler Perry. Max Groenig, Craig Furguson, They have all put it in a light that is simple to see that I speak the truth. You want to see how Frickin' honest I am, as if I have not proven such. When I reached puberty I was a bit ubsurd in My actions Myself. My oldest sister Lois will not like what I amout to write, but I must say what is required. She was the first Girl I ever kissed, I won't elaborate on the rest of what She had Me do, I must say though that there was nothing involved more than touching. Later I must of thought I was supposed to get to know My kid Sister a bit better because of that, I did'nt have a chance at doing so. I did pull on Her pants, that was pretty much it. You know I screwed up My first chance to be with a real pretty Gal one night, again, My sister just two years older than Me set it up for Me and My Pal Curt to play strip poker with a Gal I had a crush on, My Brother in laws sister Tina. I was shocked and did'nt except the offer. My Friend Curt did'nt hang out with Me much after that. So again II ask You a simple question, deserving? I feel I am. Have a wonderful evening, Kelly.

Hack this

   Why do some of these People in the World get a kick out of hacking into Your computer or sending viruses? They need a swift kick in the ass for real. I have had Someone in the past take over My M.S.N. account before, the thing is is that I got back in and reset it, now I have His gmail address. Once I was told when I signed in that Somebody in Florida was attempting to get in to My account, Why? Yesterday and today bothI have played hell to sign into My Yahoo account, I changed My password again. I got a way for Ya to come up with a password that is tough to break. You need a pencil at hand, then You randomly pick numbers and letters along with a few dollar signs or whatever. After You use it a few times You'll remember it pretty easy. Next time I chang e one I'll hit the box that asks if You want to change Your password every seventy two days. Hack that Punk. Well that's about all I want to say today, except for Fuck Hefner. C-Ya, Kelly

A shot in the dark

   Ya this is a shot in the dark, that's really all I've got. I really can't believe that I can't bring these Punks down. When I say that They mess with My life on T.V. that alone should prove My case, but Who cares about an Idiotic Kid? I do for one. Well I still gotta try aye? I bet these Assholes swear They had nothing to do with giving Me drugs, well that's where Thier wrong. Richard came over one day and gave Me two ounces of mushrooms, I was already a fucked up Kid but knew no better so during the next two weeks that I had off I did them all. My head was spinning pretty good after that, and that is not an exageration. What made matters worse is that a few months later I met Nancy, boy I really started spinning then. I seriously thought of Her one day and what I saw in My mind was just exactly like a T.V. when the screen goes haywire, no bull. I have to tell You about the trips I took during those weeks here, a Friend of Mine said He too had seen the same things doing 'shrooms, on one trip Demons were coming out of the carpet, and just like Dino said, I was scared shitless. I was curled up on the couch scared out of My wits. A few times the Devil Himself appeared in front of Me, really. Hallucenating is a bad way to go Folks, for real. These two weeks are the ones that left Me a space case People, I saw the difference right away. Who's to say that I would have never done drugs without Them helping Me out with them, I was'nt the smartest cucumber in the basket to begin with, but I did not deserve to be messed with in such a manner. I can hear Them now, "Nobody forced Him to do them.", no, but I was set up with enough to screw My mind up pretty good. I'm sure as hell glad I had enough sense to refuse the ether I was offered, I know I would have become the vegetable They were trying to make Me. I really have to go for now, this is pissing Me off pretty good. Have a great night Folks, Kelly McGill.

Dammt to Hell

   The title should tell how I am feeling today. I had no clue that the Sgt. Major that I wrote about was so close to home, He was Shielas Brother. I just read His obituary. I thought His name was John, it had been since I was nineteen that I had seen Him last. My condolances go out to Shiela and Her Family. And another thing I want to say to Shiela, I am happy to see that You're married now, congratulations. And to any Soldiers out there take care, and like I said come home soon. Sincerely, Kelly McGill.

What the fuck Chuck?

   Here I am talking about a fucked up Kid, well My youth ws a mess is all I can say. Hell, when I first went Antelope hunting I was messed with by My own Grandfather. I was given His.270 to shoot, I hit the dirt on the first shot, the only thing is that the bullet hit about twenty feet to the left and around three foot low. When I said it was out of alignment, My Grandpa said, "You just can't shoot Boy.". Hell I shot a sparrow through a hole in the trees that musta been about three inches wide with a B.B. gun long before that. Another shooting episode was with My .22 pistol, this has nothing to do with the Family though, My Friends told Me that My gun was a piece of junk. So I took Them out about fifty feet from where We were shooting and set up two bottles, I then put one in the middle right behind them and told Them, "That one is Mine.", I busted it on the first shot. Bill Rowley and Me had Our pictures taken in Billings Montana, they were those old style western pictures, I musta scared the photogragher because You could see down the barrel when We pointed at the camera, Bills was aiming at the moon. It's kinda funny how those pictures just seemd to disapear, huh? Some People make Me sick to My stomach, Really, Kids just want to fuck with the lives of others that are less superior to Themselves, Hey Kid, Grownups don't fuck with People, That My Friend is known as a fact of life. I hope to hell that Hugh Hefner Himself is reading this, I know He never meant for Me to be destroyed by My so called Pals, if You are Hugh, take 'em down Pal, seriously. I was nothing but a Kid that They were trying to fry so They could have a Person in Thier band that was messed up om drugs like Areosmith or the  Rolling Stones, or worse Sid Barret from Pink Floyd. I admit to My faults in life People, a Man is honest, I may be immature in a lot of ways, but I am Man enough to admit to the truth. Have a wonderful life Folks, and again, Kids keep of of the drugs, Kelly.

Kelly here.

   Hey, if I can't get anything done through the law, I might as well just talk. I say no lie when I say I will go to Washington and do the right thing this winter, but for now I'm just gonna talk. Anyone have Kids out there, dumb question I know, well I've got an answer to Thier bedwetting problems, I gaurantee it will work. Yes I too was a bed wetter, all the way up to the seventh grade. What broke Me was an alarm, it was attached to a thin metal pad that went under My sheets. When it got wet it woke the whole house up it was so loud. I believe I've got a better way. What My problem was is that I always had a dream that I was using the restroom, next thing Ya know You're wetting the bed. Tell Your Kids to pinch Themselves everytime They use the toilet, when They're trying to go in Thier dream and They pinch Thier arm I feel They'll wake up, thus ending the horrific experience of being the Kid in the Family that has the problem. Hey, it's worth a try aye. Now some sad news, recently there was a Soldier killed in Afganastan, Sgt. Major Griffen was a graduate from My high school. I do plan on attending any memorial held in town here when it is held. To all of You Soldiers out there, I do hope You come home soon. To finish all I have to say is that the way He was killed was nothing more then cowardism. Watch Your asses over there. Sincerely, Kelly McGill

Fightin' mad

   I guess I aint got a chance in Hell at finding justice, so it's time to go kick Somebodys ass. Bill Rowley if You're reading this watch Your backside son. I've made up My mind that these Assholes are'nt worth losing My freedom over, as soon as I can afford it I can gaurantee I am going to go to Washington and kick the living crap out Mr. Rowley. The justice system seems to be a farce when it comes to helping out some slow Kid. I know it has been a long time since this crime took place, but if I were an officer I would be looking into it. Who knows maybe They are, but when the weather turns cold here in Wyoming I'm going for it. That is what a normal Person would do in My opinion. I see it plain as day what these People did to My sorry ass life, and They think it a joke? I ask the lord here and now, God keep Me from beating this Bastard to death. In the first place Folks these People have seen Me in action, I don't claim to be a badass, but I can still move. C-Ya later Folks, Kelly.

Followers?

   This goes out to those of You that actually read this crap, thanks. All the time I have been doing this I have collected at least a few followers a week, but I never get above 102 followers. I have even lost Karl Rove My Friends, I am at My wits end as the saying goes, I hate to admit to being suicidal, but sometimes I feel it the only way to end My misery, the easy way out as They say. Ya it would be alot easier then living with the pain and hatred that I endure, but I'd sure like ta see these arrogant bastards brought to Thier knees. Folks I am an easy going Fella, even though I have anger issues, I am the type of Person that walks away from a fight. I know that I contradict Myself from earlier blogs about Myself, in actuality, I am what is known as a Coward, why else would People walk all over Me? As I may have mentioned before Bill Rowley and Richard Pattison befriended Me, They needed  a ride to the senior keg out at the lake the year before We graduated. Which brings Me to Richards graduation, He never finished high school. Neither Bill nor Richard were allowed to get drivers licenses, Thier Parents were wiser than Mine, so Richard ran away from home, Thier Folks knew that They would be hard to handle with a drivers permit I can see that now. Hell, other then that I saw these Boys had a free rein. Richards Parents owned a Motel here in Riverton, I'm pretty sure His thoughts were that His Parents had it and He could get it, a manipulater from the get go. Bring Them to justice is all I want, before I lose it and kill Them on sight, please. In the name of justice, Kelly McGill.

Words of wisdom

   I figured I might as well say something People can use tonight. Starting with tidbits of wisdom like, "A Man's got a certain aire about Him.", "Lost without You.", '"Lonlely Boy.", "A Man's got His wits about Him.", "I sure have alot to learn.", "If You had a Man You'd be mature.", "It's a Mans World.", "Stop acting like a Man.", "That old Gentleman grew.", "We can be Men about this.", "Who the Hell would call that mature?", like I said before I got a bunch of 'em. I really do hope My writing does help People, heck I got nothin' better to do I guess. I do have something to work on though, My gut, I weight in at 200 lbs. as of today. When I was in Killeen Texas I was driving a cab for around eight months and got up to 266, I started eating a lot of fruit and drinking water, I lost 20 lbs. quick. Dr. Adkins has the plan, change Your diet, it works too. What I do is eat a nature valley granola bar with a cup of coffee for breakfast and again at break, for lunch I'll buy a salad at the grocery store with a bottle of tea, then just a peice of meat with a vegtable for dinner then go for a walk after an hour, four pounds in one day Folks. If Ya can't tell I'm feelin' pretty good right now, so Ya'll have as great weekend alright? Thanks for reading this at least, Kelly McGill.

Determination

    A Liar? That is one thing I am not being. When I told the truth to My Mom at the age of thirteen, it really felt good inside. I have lied before, like the time I was arrested for the cocaine that I did a year for. The Police were taking stuff out of My pockets, I was arrested on suspicion of D.W.I., They found a dollar bill wadded up with the coke inside of it. The Officer asked Me what it was and I said I'd never seen it before. I said I had just left a topless bar and left after getting My change. He persisted but I kept to My story. When I went in front of the Magistrate I told Him the same thing. We locked eyes for quite a spell before He crossed off the $5,000. bond and wrote down $3,000. instead. Ya, I can lie if I have to, but Folks I do not tell a fib here. I am the Victim and They screw with My life and yet I seem to be going nowhere with this. You out there have to admit, if an old friend of Yours did something to Your life where Your thinking was altered, You too would want blood. I have mentioned how angered it makes Me, to the point of killing, but just the other day the thought crossed My mind and it scared Me. I really do not want to take a life, but these People really do not deserve to live happy while I am a living disaster. People I just want what everybody wants, to live a good life, that's kinda hard with My mentality though. Thanks Richard and Bill, for screwing My life up. I say right here and now I speak the truth, and these Boys will pay even if it's on judgement day. Have a good one Folks, Kelly McGill. p.s. I have'nt been drinking much lately, I quit for a year and a half before, pray that I can quit all together, Amen

Still here

    I aint quit yet. Man what a crude life, I actually ignored Sheila like that, no joke. She had the same affect almost that Nancy had on Me, complete shock really. The only difference was that I saw a child when I looked at Shiela, what happened was that I told Myself, both times, that I did'nt want a little kid. Dufus. Ya I am an Idiot. The one thing in that Playboy that set My mind to thinking I was something was a cartoon, it read, "What's all this got to do with getting laid?", this was asked during a sex-ed class, in the next frame the Guy is writing over and over on a blackboard, "I am an Idiot! I am an Idiot!", no bull. In reality, this will expalin My luck in life, I was in Dallas Texas at a bar when a Gal walks up and takes My beer from Me, I might have mentioned this one I aint sure, anyhow She asks Me, "You always this dull?", then drug Me out onto the dance floor. Once there She asked if I could dance dirty, well, She bit Me because of the way I can dance. The next thing I know is that Her friends are breaking Us up telling Her She has a phone call. One of Them was giving Me the evil eye. Holy crap, I did'nt do anything to Her but what She wanted. I have to say here, I am a Guy that has always been overweight, My teeth are crooked, I get tounge tied pretty easy, and most of the time I'll say something that turns Them right off, and good looking Gals come after Me, aint I the unluckiest S.O.B. on the planet Earth. I can say with conviction, most People would end Thier lives if They felt half of the pain I live with. You gotta wonder about a Guy that loses so much. Have a great weekend anyways, Kelly.

Bloggin' My life away.

   Well I'm at it again, I have no choice but to try My damdest to get justice. I said something once to a character named Bill Rowley. He had brought the things Sheila had given Me to Texas with Him when He arrived. When they were shown to Scott Carrol I was still a little ticked about what happened between Us. You know it took Me nearly three years to realize what had happend to Us. Anyhow the words I used were crude and uncalled for and I offer My an apology to Sheila if She reads this, I said She had the body of a nine and the brains of a three. I was definately wrong about the brains, She was a little blind at the time as was I. I state a fact when I say that I care for Her, but We would not make a couple after that. I don't think I told You about My second chance at that. It was the last time I saw Her, She was working in a local bar here in Riverton around '86 or '87, I walked up and She was being given a bouqet of roses from some Fella, when She looked at Me She had the exact same look She had the first time I saw Her, that damn Kid fell in love with me a again, and this damn Kid did the same thing I did too, I ignored Her, bright Fella aint I. I have felt so much pain from that Girl it is hard to believe, but it's real. I look back at that couple of Kids and see that We were actually meant for each other. People this is hell writing this, I am hurting bad remembering Us. I can barely see the keys through the tears. Give a Fool a break, god dammit this hurts I gotta go. Sincerely Kelly McGill.

Another Crook!

   Check this out, I am asked to do a survey by Bosley hair restoration and I will win $1,000.. Well I'll try I said, the next thing I know I am getting text messages. I have prepaid unlimited text, talk, and internet, They cleared evey minute from My phone. Jesus Christ this Worlds full of Crooks it seems. And Me some Dumbass that believes He can fight Them. Dumbass? Man I worked on a porch two days ago, I used the same measurement three times before I built the trusses on it, The first one We put up to see how it looked, it was twenty inches too short. Fuck Me! That is out of control People. I tell You no lie when I say Richard Pattison and Bill Rowley were trying to make Me worse then I am, and these were My friends? I hate the thought of having to work everyday like that. And They enjoy the fine lives They live. They had better hope and pray that a dipshit named Kelly McGill does'nt run into Them. As I said before, I came to My senses a little bit. Hey, I went to Santa Monica to take a life People. And Yes I was on My way to Wenachie Washington where I knew Bill Rowley was. I am so pissed of at this moment over the phone that I want to give up on trying. Give a Fella a break, Someone in the Police force of this land take these little Boys down before I do something I will regret. As I have said, I am not insane, if I were Bill Rowley, Scott Carrol, or Kevin Childers would be dead, I do know where They are. Along with a few others involved. This is Bullshit that I am Fucked with and Nobody's doing a damn thing. I have heard of twitter being the reason some People have been taken down, I have to try though. Folks, "I don"t claim to be something I"m not.", is a saying I live by. God help Us all.