Out on a limb

  All right I really want to stir some crap up now. In the year I was offered what ever it was John Lennon was killed and Ronald Reagon had an attempt on His life. I can not say it had anything to do with a cover up, but I do wonder. I do not need to be told that Hugh Hefner is in the Mob, He was given a thousand dollars to start a magazine from His Mom? My Mom would have slapped Me, really. These People are dishonest and Anybody that backs Them are Crooks. Kelly McGill says so.

Kelly's blog here.

   I really hate the Mother Fuckers in America. Really. You Sons a Bitch's screw with innocent Kids like Me and then wonder why some poor Bastard goes off on You. Seriously! I have taken so much crap in My life that if I were one of these unstable  People I would have been locked up long ago. In America on the day of April 30th 2014 We have more problems then We can muster. My saying is, "If You leave the gate open They will come in.", If this does not make sense to You I will put it another way for You. Harry had a Barn. In His Barn He kept His prize Mares. One day Harry left the Barn door open and in wandered a Studd Horse with no scruples, the rest is history. What I am saying is that Today's Kids do not understand what is going on in this land. Obama is a Muslim and Muslims are staging a War on America. He is an admitted Radical, and is instigating His agenda. Instead of coming after a Person such as Myself, maybe They should look at the cause, Oh Yea? Population control? Where do the People stand? Sir, You will not disarm this Land, Kelly.

Knutts!

   This is so impossible to understand. How on Earth are these People getting away with screwing with Me on the air like They do. I wonder about the Police in America. You see so many different things now a days involving Them it's scary. It is no doubt there are crooked Cops out there, but I know I can find an honest one willing to hang these Boy's from the rafters. COME ON!!!

"Confounded Kids!"

   You seriously cannot sit there and watch Me without getting interested. It is unfathomable to Me that Richard is allowed to get away with doing what He does. I completely understand that I may never bring Him down for setting up a slow Kid with enough acid to set His mind wandering, but You cannot let this Guy screw with My life. Folks I am a hard worker. More then likely more of a Hand then any of You out there reading this. Sure, You might hit the weights or run, but how long does that last daily? I put in ten hours a day at the age of fifty three, I am a tired Soul by the end of the week. It seems to be paying off though. I picked up My check Today and saw a dollar raise on it. I was also told that the Owner of the company has been talking good about Me. I am just damn glad I gave up the reefer crap. I have a habit of being a lost S.O.B. at times after smoking weed. So lost that get to the point where I really should'nt be on the job, and that is a fact. I know this is something most People would have a hard time grasping, but I am a complete Idiot when I'm stoned. If You have never seen a lost look on Somebodies face, I for one could show You the look. I beg of You out there to take Me serious and some how take these little Boys down. No Man would allow such nonsense as I have said before.

We are in deep shit

   When I look at how this Country seems to be going down the drain it saddens Me. I am  Kid that was clueless to the way the World actually works. Of course My Pal Richard had seen the World, and was taking it upon Himself to open My eyes. "When You think of People They think of You.", were His exact Words. That is one of the strangest things I have seen in My life. And They made this Person wealthy? Holy crap! I know in My heart that after what this Boy did to My life I would seek revenge in a violent way. He and His Pal Bill Rowley would agree that I am not a Violent Person too. People They set out to totally destroy My life. They were close to succeeding in Their plan too. I am not a normal life to begin with, and now I have severe mental issues to do Their actions. Do You think I would not want to see Them on the ground and bleeding? The only thing that kept Me from going to Washington and killing this Bill Rowley is that I came to My senses. I was on My way to do just that. You too would want to do the same if it were You, and You know it. Would Somebody please take these People down? I am not insane, but these People are making Me angry and laughing about it.

Bullshit indeed

    I look at some of My posts and wonder why it is that the Police have yet to kick My door in. I rag on the Government and nothing gets done. As I write this very night I realize one thing, there is so much crap going on in America that I am small potatoes to the World. We are on the verge of World war three. Why? Because We have literally allowed Ourselves to fall asleep and unwillingly watch Our Country become overrun. I know the Mexicans well enough to know that Their feelings are that this in fact Their Country. In fact, Who else can claim it? They are a Breed apart from all others due to the fact that the Spainards molested the Indians and came up with the Mexicans. There fore leaving the only undeniable owners to the Land these People, fact. In America at the present We have such a corrupt Government that People are fed up with it. Our Police are seemingly on steroids, look at Their mass. And I for one, being a a oft kinda a Guy, am being screwed with on the National Television network. Give Me a God Damn Break! Kelly McGill.

Rock & Roll Fantasy

   I do have to admit, that once it all started I was the one that thought it all was cool. "I grew up since then.", is a fact. When I look back on how naive I was I am surprised. Children do not even come close to having a clue on what it is that I am talking about. Thirty years from now You will look back and say to Yourselves that They went by fast, believe Me. "The years go by faster and faster as You get older.", is straight up fact. Yes I am a Child on the face of the Earth, and yes it is a messed up deal I look at in America. We have crap like the music Kids listen to. "Fuck the Police!", for one is out of control. There are worse out there when it comes to the manner of how They speak. A local bar I frequent plays a lot of that bull, Kid's just listening to garbage is all it is. Years from now I surely hope that They look back as I do now and see how wrong it is. As a matter of fact I sure as Hell hope They do it sooner. But the truth is, the Kid's of Today's generation are facing a very hard future because They don't give a damn. Grow.

Big Dummy

  I seem to have a knack for screwing up. Yea I would say so. I have messed up so bad in My life most People would not even believe what I have done. Boy what a Kid I have been in life. A Heartbreaker? I really did'nt choose to be one. I just happen to be an Idiot. Even as recent as around a year ago I feel I may have hurt a Gal. I was at a street dance here in Riverton and when I looked over at a young Woamn I could clearly see Her excitement from My look. She was a pretty Woman with a big behind, that was not the reason for not trying. I was'nt sitting where I am now as far as getting My life together and as I have said I do not feel worthy. Plus I figured in a small town I might just see Her again, not yet. If I do I will attempt to talk to Her. I Myself have a weight problem so I can feel for a Lady that weighs more than She should. You know, it's pretty sad that I sit here and talk about crap like this. What this all started for is to bring down a Clown named Richard Pattison, now I just gripe about how ignorant I truly am. Well at least I am an honest Kid. I never purposely tried to destroy another Human Beings mind or anything vicious like that, so maybe there's hope for Me after all.

600th Tweet

   I had it all figured out what I would say Tonite. Damn! I caught a buzz and have  to quit early. "I'm drunk, can't walk, Ah but I can play the guitar.", Hey those lyrics I remember writing. Kelly.

50,000 pageveiws?

I hope to Hell that I am not here long enough to have that many People read this crap.

The McGill Kid

   Here I am. What to say? The saddest part of Tonight is that this is the best start to any of My letters. What the Hey? I want to keep Your interest in these letters in order to find a way in which I can put a stranglehold on these Assholes that are trying to continue to screw with the life one a Kid that just walked through His existence on a Planet out of control. When I say out of control, not only drugs, but love had an unusual effect on a Kid that sent Him spinning out of control. He was attacked at the early age of nineteen and now He is fifty five and finding His way. To the younger generation I need You to understand, years upon years amount to more years upon years in which You look back on when it's too late. This will make sense to the smarter ones, the ones like Me? Damn it hurts later. Keep Your shit straight is all I can say here because that is the way the World turns Kids. Knock off the nonsense, Yea, that's going to happen. Something tells Me that Tonight's silly ass writing is going to open the eyes of some Kid out there and awaken Them to the idea that I am speaking straight out to the World about the reality of how a mind can be ripped apart, and They will grow the fuck up. So help Me God I want to change the World as We live in it on this day in the year of 2114 that I say it out loud that I hate Kids in America. I too need to grow up, but I hope to start Your life in gear, Kelly.

Damn Fool Kid

    All I have to say Tonight is that Somebody very soon had better do something about these People thinking it's fun to mess with My life, seriously.

Horrible life

   I really cannot understand how it is that nothing is getting done about these People. I even tried to get Gerry Spence to look into it, no dice. Crazy as it sounds I was set up with a Playboy. And yes I was set up with enough acid to mess with My mind, on purpose too. Richard Pattison is the type of Kid that would think it a funny thing that He's getting away with a crime. My life, just as any other, is not a joke. Not a Man on the face of the Earth will be amused by My plight and that is a fact of life. I have no respect for these lying Children, and the same goes for Hugh Hefner too. I am what I am Folks, an innocent Victim and that is all. Cowardly it is what They have done to My life. It really bothers Me bad, that I have to sit here and write this garbage in order to see a couple of Kids go down, but I have to suffer through it. My life is a disaster.

Who cares? I care!

   "I never met a Man I did'nt like." I do believe was from an old Cowboy Who's name escapes Me at the present. I know His name well, ah yes, Will Rogers I say. I too like all Men. The difference is that all Grown Men are likeable. Then there are the Boy's that call Themselves Men? You have a lot to learn Son if You call Yourself a Man without the experience. I still at the age of fifty three see Myself as a Child on the face of the Earth, I am as honest as They come when looking at Myself. We have a Land that is on the brink of destruction due to Our lack of wisdom, really. When I look at the manner in which things are going in the wrong direction it scares Me. I am scared of the future We hold in Our hands as American Citizens. I am not one of those that say We have to take this Government apart, I am one Human Being telling You to take a serious look around You at the World in which We are a part of on this day of April 20th 2014. Shit is about to hit the fan because We left the gate open way to long. If You do not believe go to Texas and try to get a job on American soil in an apartment job in central Texas. The looks of hatred are real. The way the Mexicans feel is that this is Their Land, and yes, it was taken from Them. This blog as I call it has gone from taking down some Assholes to being an opportunity to change the lives of millions of People. May We all just figure out which road We wish to follow, and may it be a long happy journey. Kelly McGill here saying so.

The Coach

  I heard James Gonzales call Me the Coach under His breath once. The Kids I used to work with think everything is funny. I am the one that usually takes charge of the job when I'm on it. Now guess what? I am now what You would call the project Manager of a job. I work for the General Contractor of the site. Boy do I have a lot to learn too. I have to coordinate with all of the trades on the project, and I truly don't know anything about doing the job. I'm just damn glad it's a simple job. All the other jobs drag ass, this one won't. I am known for being one of the fastest Framers around and I will come in under budget and on time. It just proves that when You bust Your ass and keep Your life clean You will go far. I just want to win once in My life, being a Loser sucks bad.

Well? What can I do about it?

  I am so sick and tired of this whole affair, but I have a choice to make here, either quit and forgive Them, or carry on. I Myself prefer to bring down these Assholes. I say I am a messed up life because of these Fools, it is a fact. I never once said anything about finding any acid and getting high. It is amazing how They can get away with setting Me up with enough drugs to sin My life out of control and get away with it. When I say out of control I mean it too. I have spent years with a mind that wanders and it all was caused by these People thinking They could do what They were doing. When I look at My life and how They set My mind on firs I am infuriated to say the least. There is not a Man on the face of the Earth that would not want to kill a Person if They purposely tried to destroy Your mind, admit to it. I have said it before, I have something to live for. One thing is that I know in My heart that a Woman will come into My life and I will finally be Man enough to stand by Her side. I am moving up in a company pretty fast actually, so soon I will be able to treat a Gal right. I saved three hundred bucks last week, and with Today's paycheck I have a little under a thousand in My wallet. I need to but a few furniture items and My house is furnished, I look forward to being able to eat at a kitchen table for a a change. It is a far cry from living in a tent I have to admit. Kids, push Yourselves into a better position in life, just don't drive Yourselves to the brink of disaster by doing so. There are plenty of opportunities for a Person with a positive attitude and a desire to move forward. Just be like Me and get pissed off and move on too easy. I have had My share of opportunities with some big time companies and pissed it down My leg, learn from My mistakes instead of making Your own. Really, Kelly McGill.

Too much Bull

  I have one for You. I was a Contractor in central Texas for around thirteen years. I had a knack for digging up the jobs when Nobody else could. My biggest problem the last few years of ding this work was stepping out of one job and going directly onto another. It never failed when I finished a job I would be promised work within a few weeks, that always turned into around three months. I would just get Me head above water and have to fall back into debt . I would wind up having enough pawn tickets to break most Folks before I got back on My feet. There comes a long a job where You can really get it going. And then another. I have had this happen too. I had a job where I could make $500. a day and not even try. I Partnered up with a Friend because He knew as much as Myself and felt better about it. Well, as soon as this job started I was asked to go to Louisiana and do an identical job with the same pay. I had visions of really getting it going for damn sure. My mistake was I am too trusting. I told My Partner to just take over the job and pay Me $100. per floor, He would make $400. and it was easy. When I asked about the money when He never paid any I was told I was being greedy. Hell I could have paid the Boy hourly and made a killing. Then when I started the job in Lafayette I could see right away how this Boy was going to be. He was a sub from the People We were doing the other job on and I could tell right off He was going to screw Me on My pay so I made damn sure I never turned any draws worth anything. Not worth anything? I was still drawing $1,500. a week and practically doing nothing. When it came time for My last check I had to draw blood nearly to get paid. I called that Boy so many times He still hates Me for sure. There are a lot of People that make it rich off of Their help by not paying Them, welcome to the real World.

A Madman

  The one thing I truly have to say is this. Yes I did the drugs. And yes I thought I was cool. But Who set it up so I would be so high I would never be the same again? Purposely changing a mind. I do understand that I have no proof, but I can say for a fact that Richard Pattison is the one in charge of the whole plot. Bill Rowley is nothing more than a boot licker . People I am an innocent Kid. Even tonight I went to a local Tavern I frequent. There is one of those Boy's sitting next to Me that You can just that tell He can take care of Himself, and it makes Me feel like a Retarded Kid. I can tell that They see it to and are watching Me, but hey that's My life I'm used to it. Again, I did do the drugs, but Goddammit, I was set up with enough L.S.D. to burn out any Human mind, fact. I am at the end of My road soon if nothing gets done, I have no retirement, so I am looking at the end of My life. One thing for damn sure, I would end another if it came down to it.

School Boy charm

   Here I am sitting in at Gators in Ueless Texas when I hear this Fool behind Me Saying, "Go home school Boy!", over and over. I finally turned around and saw these Gals sitting there at a table. What did They do turn His sorry ass down? I don't give a damn if They were even interested in this Fool here, for I do not even care for casual sex. Of course I want to be with a Woman, but I do not even want to be with a loose Girl. And that My Friends is the way I stay. Kevin Childers asked Me what it is I want in life, I may have explained this before, and I told Him because it pissed Me off, 'I'm choosie.'. My main problem is that I really don't like a lot of People, and I do refuse to be even around Someone I don't like, be it Male or Female. The only thing I have going for Me is I will never be a Molester or a Fag, and that I have confidence in. Other then that? I just want what I lost. I know this sounds bizarre, and actually it is abnormal, but love does strange things to a Guy. I have heard it said that when You lose the one You love that You just don't want Anybody else even in Your life, and that is exactly how My life has been for the past thirty plus years. "Life sours some People.", and that is a fact.

This Carpenter right here.

   I did good for a change, I did'nt fuck anything up. I designed and built some trusses that will be wrapped in oak and got them set without any mistakes at all. That's damn good for this space case Kid. Man I used to screw stuff up. I'm glad I stopped smoking that marijauna crap. It was a put Me in the mood deal for years. I would'nt feel like even trying and burn a joint and tear up the World that's what it did to Me. Then there's that meth crap, all I could do when I tried that was spin My wheels. I hav'nt touched any of that in so long I could'nt really say how long it's been. As far as Cocaine it's been around seven years. At least I'm keeping away from the garbage in the World. And that sure as Hell makes Me feel good inside. I won't pat Myself on the back too hard, but I will hold My head up. You Folks have a great night will Ya, Kelly.

Tonight

I am not even sure if My writings were allowed out tonight. What does it matter? No one really gives a damn anyhow.

Sorry ass Kid

   If Anyone has read this for long I do not need to explain what it is I am trying to achieve, but if You're new I have to explain Myself. I am what is known as a slow Boy. I have been so shocked by Women that I live in misery. I am an honest Person to say the least. There is a Person out there that is allowed to mess with My life and it seems I can do nothing about it. This Richard Pattison Kid thinks He's one smooth Man, and His sidekick Bill Rowley is no better. I am sincere when I say that there have been a number of attempts on My pathetic life too. As I have stated I have been shot at, and a Kid has tried to hit Me in the back of the head with His framing axe. I really cannot stand the fact that I have to sit here and complain about My life in order to bring down some Kid for F'ing with My life, but Goddammit I am so pissed off I want to take a life. Get it straight, NOW!

Life and Death

   I am at a stage in My life in which I am seeing My Parents reaching the end of Their lives, and it is nothing nice either. My Dad is a stubborn old codger and thinks He knows better than most. When My Sister told Me He fell down twice the other day I talked to Him about what's going on. He is on meds for His leg pain and eats like a Bird, well His legs look like a Bird too. I took Him some protein shake mix I had and called the rest of My Sisters and My Nephew that's closest to Him and told Them all to call Him and tell Him He has to eat. He is now eating regular and taking at least three muscle milk shakes a day. Stubbornness runs in the Family I tell Ya. I again was told Today that He fell again Yesterday so I took Him My walking stick for when I go hiking, I told Him it's better than the pink cane Mom has. He went with His feet being colder than normal without telling Anyone for quite a spell, the first thing I said was it sounds like a loss of circulation. He has now been to a couple Doctors trying to figure out what in the Heck is going on. We hope for the best. It's as They say, "When You retire You just fade away.". I have had quite a few Men say this about Our Elders in the past. Dad just recently quit driving a semi, His second retirement, and now He is going down hill fast. It bothers a Person to watch it unfold so fast. I guess the moral of the story is to take care of Yourselves until the end.

Grown ups

   The word Grown up derives from the People that actually stopped being Children. I cannot claim to be one Myself. If You call Me dishonest I will explain to You in a direct manner about how I have yet to achieve said maturity, why? Because I actually am a Person that sees the truth. When I see an actual Adult I think of Nancy, She was a Kid back then, I know this from the way She acted when We fell in love. The difference is that I can tell the kind of Person She truly is, She will not be a Child about such things. I can tell She would be the one that would insist on having these People brought to justice. There for She is a Woman. I do not say this to grab attention, I say this to show You the Woman I love.

What else can I say

   I cannot say enough to bring justice to My sorry ass life. This serious business I am speaking of, but Who cares? Right. "The Rich get richer and the Poor poorer.", I'd bet money on the possibility that Someone is getting paid to look the other way. This is the land of opportunity for damn sure. But if You are a retarded Kid Your chances are slim. I was the one contacted by Hugh Hefner not these People, and now I suffer due to their crime because of it. My own ignorance is to blame for taking the damn acid, but I was not the one seeking the crap. I never even thought at the time why They were making sure I was to doing two hits to Their one. I am a simple soul on the face of the Planet Earth, and I have been victimized by My own Friends to boot. I have to write and write until I am sickened by it and nothing gets done, Bullshit! I just wish I were still in the L.A. area right now, I'd drive over to the Playboy mansion again just to rag oh Hefner for allowing Richard Pattison to do what He is doing to My life. Kelly McGill here asking for the help of a Man, please see it as it really is. Thank You.

Can You blame Me for trying?

   What a Bitch of a life. I was set up by My so-called Friends and now They're wealthy and I am a mess, wow! I cannot believe that I have to write until I feel so bad that I have to quit due to depression. All of My life I have had some Jerk try to screw with Me and it still goes on Today. Kids think They are wise beyond Their years when actually They are what They are, Children. I completely understand what I say here is not news to many of You, I just want to wake up a few Kids. It is so messed up in America at the present time that We are watching what is happening in Nevada and wondering how out of control it may become there. The reason I say this is so Kids will understand how important it is to take a hard look at what is going on in Our Country. We are being overrun by other Countries. If You doubt what I say go to Texas and try to get a job on an apartment job. When You drive on the job You will receive angry stares from the Boy's there. I do not wish to see a War on American soil but We are staring it right in the face. And We are willing to fight for some Rancher in Nevada? I too would stand up for another Citizen, but You had better look around Folks, We're in deep shit.

Lost cause I feel

   Here I am talking about how I was set up with enough L.S.D. to fry any Humans brain and it seems that not a soul gives a damn. I hate life so bad I cannot understand My own self how I live. Suicide is an option in My pathetic life, even Today I thought about ending the pain I live with. "You have a lot to live for.", but I have a blurred vision of what it is that I am supposed to survive for. I am a mess I'll admit, but like I say at least I don't go around trying to destroy lives like these two Clowns do. The nerve to sit there and screw with Me on Television in itself is outrageous. I am honest when I say that the only thing I am good for is a strong back. I am a fry brain Kid, but I still get the job done. I has some good news Yesterday. I am now going to be in charge of one of the jobs . When school lets out I will be going in to change out some doors and do a new acoustical ceiling too. Should mean a raise I hope. I had already been told that I would be the one in charge of trimming out the house We are building, and I am the stair cutter along with the one taking charge of the cut in roof We will be starting Monday. As I have said I may be a fucked up life, but I can still at the age of 53 get out there and do My job. I am just damn glad I stopped smoking that pot crap, I would have been a lost Punk at times and never had the opportunities to move up in this company. I can already hear some of the Boy's complaining about My advancement wile They have been there longer than Myself, I have seen it before. What They don't understand is that I have been the Boss on so many jobs in My life that it's easy for Me to move up in a company. It's like I have had Kids say to Me before, "I don't get paid enough to work that hard.", I just tell Them 'If You worked harder You'd get paid more.", common sense. I have already had one Kid on this job ask why I get paid more than Him and He's been working here longer, because I am a Carpenter Son is what I should have told Him. Let's hope that this works out for Me aye?

Hardass

   The title describes Me to an extent. I am the Boss usually on the job and I put up with very little bullshit. I was even accused of standing around once. To explain. These Boy's on the job screwed up so much I finally decided to stand and watch every move They made, it was more productive to do so then to fix Their mistakes all day long. They no longer screwed up all day long. I have mentioned a Fella named Jon Peirson, He was on the job too. He is the one that I told to tell Richard to say 'Eeeah!'. You do remember, "Grandpa Kelly says Eeeah!" on Tyler Perry's show? "Kelly! Kelly! Kelly! Ah, I wanted the MaGilla Gorilla!", "Richard Pattison, Killeen Texas!", this is Bullshit at the highest level and that is a fact. I know for a fact that I was set up because I was a nice Guy that walked into a party. What happened is that They wanted to see what I was like straight, now this is conjecture here, and I was invited to another party and if I were a normal Person I was to be set up with an adventurous life. Either that or I was to be accepted as an idiotic Kid and taken care of, as I say, I never read the damn Playboy. And when I say I was given this Playboy? Ask Yourselves this, Is Kelly McGill being screwed with like He says? It is a bizarre thing to have happen I admit, but I lie not, Kelly.

8008 Pageveiws!

   Holy crap People are really looking at this! I sure as Hell hope so, I would hate to be wasting My precious time. I have wasted more than My share in My life that's for damn sure. When I was sub-contracting in Dallas if I did'nt have an Employee at the time it was near impossible to make Myself get out of the truck and go to work. I would pull on the job and be so damned depressed I would just sit there and smoke pot. People looked at Me awful funny too, but I really did'nt give a shit what They thought of Me back then. If I would have busted My ass like I'm capable of doing still I would have made a lot of money back then too. I have made some real money even at that. I had Bob Carroll working for Me and just ran around doing the easy stuff while He worked. Bob is the kind of Guy that will work circles around most normal Hands, but if I would have gotten in there with Him I could of, and should have, made $3,000. a week. As it was I averaged $1,500. and did as little as possible. I told You before about crying everyday for a year, seriously, and this was when that took place. During that time I tried to hang Myself in Harker Heights, and had to put down My .44 Mag. because I had an overwhelming feeling of temptation to shoot Myself. Life had Me so far down in the dumps I truly am surprised that I made it through those times. Life truly has turned for Me, I don't cry everyday anymore, but I still hurt like Hell.

One mad Mother!

   Seriously Folks, I am as mad about this crap They pull I really can't stand it. I don't see Anybody doing anything about it either. I blast the internet with the story of My pathetic life and nothing comes of it. I really do wish that I could find this Richard Pattison Kid, I would end it all. I hate to say something like that but Jesus F'in' Christ I live with a mental problem that He created for His own gain. The only bright spot I have going is that I am staying away from the weed when it comes to My life. It's a damn good thing too. I have a decent chance at work to prove My worth. I have cut in roofs before but the one I start on Monday is a cut up S.O.B. to say the least. I will be the Carpenter doing the figuring on what is commonly called a Bastard roof, a real challenge for sure. If I were smoking pot I say it straight when I say I'd be one lost little Kid trying to figure it out because of the way My mind works. Instead, I get a chance to look like a real Carpenter. I have only been the Journeyman when I worked on these types of roofs before, this time I get to be the Master. I have enough confidence in My abilities that I know I won't have too many problems getting the job done, only because I am not a stoned Kid anymore. There is one thing though, I will be a watching Myself tighter then normal. In this Business one must always double check Himself, but Me? I sure as Hell better triple check everything I do. I'll let You know how it works out.

Nicknames?

   Did I tell You about Jacksboro? Oh Goddamn! Was My name there. I received it while playing basketball. Everytime I missed a shot I would say, ' God Dammit!'. One day one of the Boy's said, "There's Your name." and 'Goddamn' was born.. Hell I'd be walking down the walkways and hear, "Goddamn!", and smile and wave. That place was so full of crap I even started My own rumor. I told Somebody one day that They were going to start selling blow up Dolls on the commissary, around three months later it was told to Me. Yes I too can lie, the thing is is that I will admit to when I lie. And another thing is that I personally would not try to deliberately mess up the mind of a Human Being. Kelly.

Just a Smidge

  Hello, My name is Smidge. No really that is the nickname I have aquired working here in Riverton Wyoming for Yeates construction. I have even joked about the President talking about Me when He said something about being a smidgen off. Do You People really think I am a joke? Grown Adults are real Kids, face up to the facts of life. Children in America laugh way too much and that is a fact. Sure, I too can even laugh at things that are'nt usually funny to a Man. The difference is that I will see through it and grow up, those that find this funny are nothing more than Children and that again is a fact. I cry My eyes out over lost Loves Folks, and if You were in front of Me and laughing about it I would fight in a heartbeat "There's no such thing as a fair fight anymore.", My Nephew Clint said once and I believe it. Kid's now a days will hit You in the throat and think it cute, that is attempted murder in My book. Dirty fighting has been around since before I was a Human Being, but from what I can tell it is worse than ever. One thing that will get Me mad enough to brawl is laughing at Me. Remember these word Kids, Men and Women do not laugh at a Human Being, and that Boys and Girls is fact. Well? How about You? Are You a Joke? Smidge here saying good luck with Your life's, and leave the Losers alone before one shoots Your silly ass. Kelly McGill.

What a Cad!

   You know, back when I was twenty two I did'nt have a problem at all with being a Womanizer. As I said before Nancy changed all of that. But at least I was'nt low life enough to marry some Girl for Her Fathers money and then cheat on Her, right Bill? "I'm well hung.", That Boy said one day in front of some Girls, whatever happened to being a Gentleman? The scruples of the People in this Country are astounding to say the least. Even the Girls have brass balls it seems, I have heard Them say some brash things. This World is due for a major change and I would love to see it happen. My words are, 'When Americas changes, the World changes.'. "You're too young to know.", has a lot of meaning. As I said before I grew up in the sixties and then saw the seventies and eighties, I have witnessed a few changes in America. "Snot nosed Kids!", is what America has plenty of Folks, and I see Them everyday. I still see My youth, but I sure as Hell am not a Punk like You Sons a Bitches that talk like trash and call Yourselves Adults. Adult means mature, figure it out Kid. The saying that kicks My ass is, "A mature Adult.", In reality You are saying You are a mature mature Person. Full Grown People are what They are, until You see one You will never know the difference. Have a great life, Kelly.

This really does suck

   I am at the end of My ropes here. When I think of how these People are getting away with doing what They do, and Nobody seems to care, I boil inside. My anger issues from the past I have come to terms with, but I know I would lose it on one of these Boy's and wind up killing Myself for what I did to Them or wind up in prison for the rest of My days. It is absurd that nothing is being done, the evidence is overwhelming. The blatantly expose Themselves by saying things out loud like, "Kelly! Kelly! Kelly! Ah, I wanted the MaGilla Gorilla!", that is enough right there for Me to see the truth. Yes I was playing the guitar and singing in the woods near Austin Texas when a Fella came into them yelling My name. Ask Yourselves this, how would He know My name and where I was camping out at? I just wish I knew where on the internet They were talking about Me, for I would most definitely set some things straight. These People are nothing more than Children, and nothing less than Cowards.

Just saying

   Richard Pattison is the type of Person tat would tell the People that were trying to contact that innocent Kid in 1980 to leave Him hanging. I feel that the Man at that party that kept smiling at Me while I was talking to a young Woman may have tried to help My life out and these People that befriended Me left Me out in the cold because They really think They are smart. I wonder if I actually am supposed to be rich because of My being a simple Kid back then. I want to say this to any Banker out there, if You are in fact holding any money that belongs to Me I will make You a deal. I can understand how You would not want Me to know. If I had a lot of money sitting there drawing interest for thirty years You would not want to see Me find out about it. That much interest would devastate a bank I am sure. What I propose is that all interest would be dropped and kept by those holding any funds. I know I am just speculating, but something took place on the night I was being contacted. If in fact I am a prosperous Person and You refuse to help Me, I would do whatever I could to break You. I am the type of Person that would go out of My way to help Someone, not stab Them in the back like Richard Pattison and Bill Rowley, and that My Friends is a fact of life.

7900 pageveiws

   I can at least say that People are reading this junk. The one thing I must say though is that it is not junk at all, it is My life. It is obvious to Me how these Creeps set it all up so They'd look innocent, but They are really vicious little Boy's that screw with the life of a retarded Person. If I were not retarded I would have been a married Man years ago. I look at My experiences with the opposite sex and am truly surprised. Nancy is a very beautiful Woman, and the Gal that snuck up behind Me and planted Her breast in My back had what I still call the prettiest face I have seen, and I am sure it will always be the prettiest too. As I have stated I am an overwieght balding Kid with screwed up teeth, what chances do I have with such Women? Yet They still look My way. And I am a lonely Boy? Goofy ass Kid anyhow. All I seek is justice, and I feel it is unreachable. I sure as Hell hope some Cop takes it to heart and looks into it, I don't really want to be remembered as a Murderer.

Feelings

   Do You understand that People can see right through You? When I feel like a Cousin of Mine, Raymond Lough right here in Riverton, I am under scrutiny. I hate being the way I am. That Kid in Austin when it all began, Kevin, asked Me once about Women. He was starting to tick Me off because of His actions by then. I told Him, 'I am choosy.", due to the fact. I am not conceited by any means, Hell I'm shocked at times by the way the Gals are interested in Me. My main problem is that I really can't stand Children, fact. When You are sitting there and some Kid, even Girls, say words such as, "Vagina.", it has a downward affect. Maturity is sexy. A Women is Mature. I admit that I should just let Kids be Kids and have some fun, but I have seen more than My share at want so desperately to change Them into Grownups that I can't stand it. People think sex is everything, wrong. Of course there would be no People without it, but dammit Man there is also maturity. Even tonight I heard some Kid say the words, "There's a lot of Vagina in here.", I really can't stand that childish bull. It's a game Americans play, it is insane to Me. I watch the World, and if We don't do something soon We are going to be in more shit then We can handle. We are picking a fight with Russia, They are talking about putting chips in Humans, and Terrorist are running free in America. As I have stated, I keep a gun handy. Kelly McGill is a realist as the saying goes.

The poor Bastard

Did Ya know? Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler were both lonely Losers before They became big Stars. And the truth of the matter is that They were both messed up on drugs when They made it. I really am glad that We never went anywhere as a Band, I know now how Richard Pattison thinks. He would have been trying to make Me a Junkie. I can also see Him making sure any song that I may have written that became a hit would have for damn sure had His name on it. The Guy is nothing but garbage. I sit here and read through what it is that I am writing, and I really cannot believe that nothing is getting done. I am dead serious when I say that I feel like killing Myself more times then I wish to speak of, and I can say with confidence that if I were to take My own life I would sure as shittin' drive to Wenachie Washington and shoot this Bill Rowley dead, fact. So figure it out and do something soon because I am sick of living this nightmare of a life, Kelly McGill.

A new day

   I am having one of those day where I don't have a clue on what to say. I'll just keep it short and say one thing. I have'nt been smoking any of that dumb dust, pot, and I really notice the difference. I make a lot less mistakes for one thing. Even at that though I still have more problems than I truly want to admit from the side affects of all the L.S.D. I was being fed. If there is even one of You Damn Kids out there thinking of trying Hallucenagenics, don't. The mind is one of the most important organs You have, don't fuck it up. And again, to all You Parents out there with Kids about to enter the age where They will be introduced to drugs You better start talking to Them about them now. And don't be naive about how early They'll find out too, I was first offered pot in the seventh grade. And now days I am sure it comes around a whole lot sooner, especially in the Cities. Drugs kill Kids.

This is no joke

   "Kiddie Shit!", is a saying that a Kid named Alan Hutchinson would always say. This same Kid I did'nt remember around Reagan Hills apartments at the time the Playboy came about, but the way He talks He was around then too. This Boy worked with Us  in the mid eighties. I met His Dad and I tell You for a fact He had a Full Grown feeling about Him. "A Man has a certain aire about Him.", I have heard before, and when You see it You'll know what I mean. There are two types of Men on this Planet, Young Men, and Full Grown Men. There is one Hell of a difference. Myself? I am neither. I say I am honest and that means taking a good hard look at Myself and being honest about it.  Again I say these things to prove My honesty. I am a heart broken Fool with People I knew screwing with My life. I hate My life and have felt like ending it so many times. I may have mentioned the time I hurt so bad I actually fell to My knees when I was racked with pain. I had a dream while in Jacksboro, it was about Nancy. I hurt so bad in that dream I woke up screaming, 'Why?'. That place was so loud it was maddening, but it was dead quiet that day. Billy Hanson is the Kid that was to be Our Drummer, He was another one that seemed to always show up wanting to do acid. Of course this Dumbass always went along, just like They knew a slow Kid such as I am would. One night We wound up at Lake Travis while tripping. I was swimming under water and when I came up for some reason I saw a Woman's body in My mind, the freaky thing is that soon afterwards I ran into that same Woman. Nancy is a real Person People. I broke He heart and it hurts more then most People could understand. I know it sounds made up, but I tell the truth. Afterwards I told Myself I would see Her again, Austin is'nt that big of a City, Boy was I a Fool.

An American in peril

   I insist that I speak nothing but the whole honest truth. Which leads Me to say that there gad better be something done soon before it's too damn late and Someone winds up dead. I understand that I am speaking too much about killing these two, but You do not see it from My point of view. What They did to My life is a killing offence and that is a fact. I am in more control then a lot of People on this Planet, They'd be dead if it had happened to Someone that loses His temper easy. I can tell You straight out that if it were one of My Sisters I would have already done something. When a cousin of Mine called My Sister a Slut, or so I was told, I caught Him with a good uppercut. That was when I was around thirteen. When I was told My another Sister that the Boy's down the street were bothering Her Me and Ray Joe Lewis were on Our bikes and down there fast. It's a good thing They were'nt home, I'd a probably got My ass kicked. I am sure looking back that it was a set up knowing My silly Family. I look back at times like that and also when My oldest Sister would yell at Me just trying to piss Me off and wonder about Myself. After it was through I never even thought about it again. And like I say, Lois yelled at Me nearly everyday after school from the time I was in the fifth grade until My Sophmore year in High School. I never talked about it or even remembered it afterwards until years later. Like I have said, I have lived a very disturbing life. I am sincerely surprised that I am not dead. I will end for the night with that said. Good night to You, Kelly McGill.