Help Me please

I really hate the title but I had to write it
All I want is to live decent but it seems out of reach
As I say I am usually the Foreman so I am not near as bad as They set out to make Me. But dammit I have lived as a messed up Life for over thirty years. That alone is a killing offense, Their screwing with Me aggravates things
I do carry a loaded .44 and am a good shot. I would prefer breaking a neck but I am at a point in Life