Been Jammin'

   How in the Hell are You tonite? Myself? Feeling jocular. Bah, that should get some ones attention. Hey, I'm just some Clown these Guys Fuck with, I asked for help as best as I could. My problem is that I brake down. I am an 'emotional wreck' as the saying goes. I walked into the Playboy west studio in Santa Monica because I was attempting to write My life story and was seeking help, I thought it would be easy, that was in 2002. I was given a number to call and when I did He hung up due to Me not being able to stop crying. I know Myself pretty well, if I were to sit down and talk to an Attorney or Judge about what has taken place in My life I would brake down and cry enough that They would, especially a Judge, have Me sedated. The facts of life stare Me in the face daily, I am the Laughing Stock of America, Childsplay Sir! Richard Pattison is an adolesent, as many others Our age. I Myself have a bad habit of being childish in My manner at times, but not to the point of deliberatly setting out to destroy a life in such a crude and cruel fashion. I was the kind of Kid that just hung out and tried to fit in, naive and vulnerable. You have to remember, I jumped on top of Shiela at a dead run to get back into the room right before I was set up with the drugs and Rock & Roll. I felt like a Man once while We were together, once, but I will not insult Your intelligence by telling You I was even near a Grown Man, Hell I'm still not going to allow Myself to call this Child a Full Grown Man. I am wise to the ways of the World, not as wise a Man as I hope to become, but wise enough to know right from wrong, these People are seriously wrong. Have a good one, Kelly.