Normal?

   Here I am telling the crane Operator to lift His load, it was in a bind and the Kid realized it but kept going. The next thing I knew was it jumped two feet, missed cutting all of My fingers off by less then inches. The sickening feeling was overwhelming, I went for a beer. I played the lottery.

I can only keep trying

   I notice My daily readers are dropping, that I am sure is because I talk about the same things all the time. I really am at a loss on how to keep it interesting, but I am not here to be entertaining. Christ when I think of Nancy I feel such incredible pain. I was working in Corpus Christi when I was racked so bad I grabbed My Buck knife and came so close to cutting My throat that it scared the Hell out of Me. Again I would rather not talk about it, but I feel People need to see how rotten My Life has been even without these Jerks helping Me along with My misery. "I hide My pain in My anger", and I am one mad Mother too.

The story of My Life.

   I understand that I may not be the worse Life there is, but I bet money I hurt more than most inside. The feelings I am suffering through are written on My face. If You have ever seen the show "The Mentalist" You would have seen the look on the face of the Gal that plays the cop, that Woman has felt some pain. You know by the frown She wears on Her face. I am glad to see that after a while She smiled a lot more though. My Family is a hard one too as I have said, My Aunt Phil dies and the way They made Her face look at the funeral is disturbing, She had that frown. I am dead serious too, that is how They are. Like the time My Dad flat out said to Me, "You must know what You're looking for.", cruel People that They are. Why I even come around Them  I wonder. I really would'nt put it past Them to have told Bill Rowley that it was alright to do what They did. That is hard to really believe, but the way They are I'm not sure about Them. Well I think I'll go cry Myself to sleep, good night.

HARD ASS KID

   Excuse the capital letters, but GOD DAMMIT ALL!!!!!!

This sucks

   I really have to say something Tonight, just like I have before, because I cannot let it go. It is not a normal Person that jacks with My life in the manner in which Richard does. And I say again that no Man would allow His nonsense. This Kid is a Joker that needs to be locked up. As the saying goes I am not doing this for My health. Rough Life? You bet Your ass it is, and I sure as Hell did not need these People messing with My Life just to make it harder.

I write again

  What I have to say has more bearing on the Planets future than Children will comprehend. We have Enemies among Us, Who are They? What frightens Me is You will not be able to distinguish what Asshole needs shot, unless He/She is firing upon You first, which could be too late by then. So watch Your ass.

I am read?

   I am appreciative when I see that Someone is actually reading this stuff. I am an honest hard working stiff and I have really lived this mess. I see more then a lot of the Kids when it comes to Grown Adults, but I have to admit I don't know jack to be truthful. The feelings are rare too be straight up. It can be years between seeing a Full Grown feeling emit from a Human. I know there are many People out there that will understand what I am saying too. I want so bad, and this is from the heart, for the Youth of the World to see Grown. When You do You change, and this is a known fact from People ahead of You. A Young Man's feeling can confuse the Young, "I feel like a Man, I am Grown.", but in reality You have just cracked the egg, it needs some cooking before it's fried. Call Me a Liar and You'll show Your youth to be sure. For I learned things so long ago You would be amazed. Things like I have mention before, such as, "I'm the first one to admit to it.", "Face up to the facts of Life.", "Childish nonsense.", "God Damn Kid's!", and so much more it would astonish the Youth. My name is Kelly and I speak out, grab a hold of what I say.

Slow Sucker.

  Depends? Yes I am about to buy some. Here I sit talking to a Woman, one I do not remember meeting even though She knew Me, Damn Drunk again, when I have to pee. Well in this Bar there is only a one stool restroom, I have done the pee dance there before too. I really had no inclination to be romantic, but Dammitt when You pee Your pants You leave the Bar anyhow. That My Friends is exactly ow My Life is. What really bothers Me is that I am supposed to live a different life Than I do, and these People turned Me into what I am. I admit to being a dumb Kid and breaking Nancy's heart without even understanding I was doing so, which in the eyes of a normal Human would be enough to seek justice for the crime's committed......... Kelly Here saying this is absurd to allow these People. I have had just about enough, I really want to kill these Bastards.

Childsplay

   My God, I try again. If People that know Me knew what the Hell I am doing Here They would look at Me a bit different for damn sure. But I must continue. Do You understand that I was set up for a fall from the beginning? This Richard Pattison is so arrogant He sees Himself as untouchable. A fact is a fact, no Man would do, nor would He allow such nonsense. What I see Myself as here is a joke to Richard, that pisses Me off more than a normal Person could realize. I see Myself as a Moron, because I am one People. Nancy? God that hurts. But it proves the Boy was blind as a Child, I am still a bit near sighted. But Hey, the bad Boy's win because Children think it's cool, grow the fuck up. I do understand that My manner of bringing this to Your attention may have something to do with My being ignored, but dammit I am pissed. Do Your God Damn job and bring these Assholes down. Kelly.

Give Me the chance I deserve

   These People are horrible Children and that's all there is to it. I demand a response. I have told You repeatedly how I feel about Them and I play no Kid's game. These People deserve a bullet in the head.

Bad People that They are.

   I am wondering about the People in charge of this Country. You actually allow this nonsense to continue? Do You want a taste of My anger? The other night I was sitting in a Bar when two Gay Guy's walk in, I went off. I cannot stand those sick People and I will not tolerate Them around Me. I am now 86ed out of My own Cousins Bar, the fist for Me ever. The main reason is I cussed Her out for some crap She pulled to get the Bar. I have some rotten eggs in My Family tree. Enough said for Tonight, I will return.

Dead to rights

    I have these Fello's looking pretty bad. But yet I suffer with the game They play.

Today

    Well, how is it that Richard Pattison and Bill Rowley are allowed to walk the streets like They were normal. These are not normal People by far. No normal Person would set a Person up with enough acid to cause serious damage to another. Yes I do have brain damage. I'm just damn glad like I said that I did'nt do the ether I was asked to do. Smart? I have never been really intelligent. I Myself am surprised that I had an I.Q. of 165 on the test I was given My senior year in school. I even took one of those computer I.Q. tests, I scored at 135 I believe and I had a slow start. I am the Boss because I am able to do My job faster than a lot of Others out there, and I know how to handle the Boy's on the job too. Well, I just had to say something Today. I am at My wits end trying to take these People down Folks, I am at a point where I really want to end it all but cannot do so.

This stuff smells!

   I write again? With no glasses this time. Dammit, what else can I do? I have been refraining from writing about how these People do what it is that They do, it's boring to Me. All I need is a helping hand to be honest, it's like a saying I heard Years ago "He just needs Someone to pick Him up and dust Him off." and that was from a young Woman. I have a serious question for the youth of America, meaning Anyone under Fifty, do You even look at Yourselves? I do know better than to ask, but You need to be asked. My reasoning? Well Tonight I went to a nearby Bar that serves food, a rarity in Riverton Wyoming too, and while eating I just naturally listen to the People around Me, People are damn lucky I had four Sister's and no Brother's, My temper was put on hold. You People in America like to screw with Other's, grow. Men and Women do not mess with People, WHY ON EARTH DO THEY GO OFF AND KILL YOU? Me? Not even. If I were to go off and become a Murderer Bill Rowley would be My first, that would be easy I know where He is. Bill's the kinda Kid that thinks He's smarter than He is, just like Richard Pattison. I Myself happen to see through the falseness of such People. I may be an Idiot when it comes to love, but dammit I know the difference between maturity and immaturity.

Wow, I write this crap.

   For the past two days I have felt so rotten inside hat Life is what is known as a "Drag.". I feel crap because Life is a cruel thing to many. Too rip the heart of a Woman while She cries in pain is devastating. I am the victim of innocence. Hell as Laura Chiles called Me I was happy go lucky, now I feel so God damn bad inside it is amazing I suffer through it. Rough week huh? And to think it's only Monday. The way things are going I wonder about My survival, I was told the other day that I am in charge of the crew. This crew is nothing I want any part of to be honest, a lot of knotheads. I am the only white Person besides the Owner and His Son, it's not a discrimination thing either, the Casino is Arapaho and They require so many White's, that's Me. The Owner told Me They were asking about His White Boss's. Rough job, They already hate this Fool. At least the one's that have been there for years, all of a sudden I'm the Boss. Well, I show up Everyday and on time and I am a Carpenter with more experience. And I have been a Foreman since I was twenty three. Grown Men deal with it even if They don't like it. I sure as Hell care for the situation very little Myself, But I'm kinda stuck where I am for the time being. We'll I have to say, I am smiling right now. Believe it or not this lifted My spirits a bit. Have a good one Folks.

At least I am honest

   "Honesty is a virtue.", I am disgusted right now at what is taking place. Not only with this crap I write, We are a Country that has many more problems than My own. I really do not see an end to the insurgence of People coming in soon. This is a serious mistake in American history. We allow new blood to enter daily, good and bad. The future holds a mystery as it always will, looking at Ours I am left wondering about the Inhabitants of this land. It truly is depressing.

Damn the dumb luck

   Talk about Your unlucky Bastards. The Love's I have suffered for alone say enough about My Life. But I was approached in a bold manner. After seeing to it that I was wasted I was handed a Playboy. I really had no desire to even read about the "Stoned Hippy" that crashed a party of upper class. I was talking to a Woman when I lost control and said 'It was just a few months ago when I was sleeping on that job, and now here I am', I really said that too. Where the heck was I? Those Boy's had Me so messed up that I knew I was going to be a Rock & Roll Star. A Gullible Kid that has'nt much sense from the start is east Prey. I said I split Bill Rowley's head open with His own guitar, the next day I went from Austin Texas to Colton California with $.37 in My pocket. When I was loading My backpack I picked up that Playboy and thought about taking it along, I threw it on the ground and walked away from it. All I had to do was read it? God I'm dumb.

The Web?

   Here I have been down for days due to some unforeseen  reason. I call Charter and raise Hell with the recording long enough to where I am connected to an Agent. First thing this Kid did was to blurt out "Low Life's", I actually got My rare chance to play You game too. I cannot recall exactly what My response was, but it is recorded with Charter. What I am getting at here is, My computer is faster then ever for some reason. No waiting for this and that. It just might be the results of 'Get Me a Fucking Human' over and over until the computer gives in. I never really understood until now that when They say that You will be recorded They mean during the recording so They can filter the Assholes. Hang up after being on hold for a spell and call 'em right back with the same pissed off attitude and watch. A job in My opinion means to do Your job, not to judge. Same goes for Whomever need to be told.

599th post

   Well? What else can I say? I am a runner up for the spot of the biggest Loser ever born. I am dead serious about this Young Woman I met in Austin, God I hate the feeling I get in My gut. I have been blinded by Love a time or too, "I've left a string of broken hearts behind Me.", in all actuality I felt I was'nt deserving of a Lady such as Her. I totally lost complete control of My senses. I cry as I write again.