I am serious

   "Richard Pattison, Killeen Texas!" from knowing Richard Pattison since High School I can see His influence. I can only prove that He is the same if Someone were to go to the '76 - 77 Riverton Wolverine's year book here in Wyoming and look at both of Us. He would have been there since I was in the ninth, '74 -75. Hey, this is a vicious crime to have a Person set out to alter Your mind in the first place. Screw with a Humans mind, I dare You to call it Mature.

Holy Hell Wyoming!

   I have a few choice words Tonight. "Are You a Man?", "Yes I am a Man!". "Why do You ask?", "If You need to ask!". I have said it before I have watched the Youth of America since I was three, being '63-'64 in Southern California. I grew up just nine miles from Huntington beach. Cops at times rolled down the streets saying to stay inside. The stories from the P.T.A. sponsored ticket sales at the Strawberry Festival were My Dad's. Riot's in the sixties were rare to Anybody from another part of the World. But I still fell for the dupe of, "Ya want a Buy some acid?". Then amazingly there is some Acid rock as it's know, Pink Floyd, sitting on the turntable. I was approached by this Bill Rowley about giving a "Place to stay.", this Kid was a Welder at the Mine's in 1980, He would have been making some cash then. I had this Kid even have Him move a bed into My bedroom so He's  have a bed too. This Kid, Bob Pace, or as a coat I even wound up with had the name Lapoca, that may be His name too. Well Bob had enough money to buy a serious Pioneer set up to boot. The night the acid was found at My door after bypassing the security gate that ruined the marriage Sheila was looking at. Hell that Girl and Nancy had the exact look in They're eyes. Kelly McGill telling You so.

a many future

   I just had to leave the title for Giggles and Shit's, I had no glasses on. Which in the reality of My mind is a saying I have made up, " Giggle's' and Shit's", in reverse of the latter being Giggle's of course., and leaving the extra comma, for yes I am a creative Child, As You have figured. Another one I mentioned is 'Paybacks are a Bitch.', deriving from "Paybacks are a Mother Fucker.". I cleaned it up for Sheila. I tell lies to get out of a ticket, but dammit, My jaw dropped when I saw My first Love. Kelly McGill saying for a fact that I was less then twenty years old at the Time. That was '79. Before I was twenty one I was a known as a mess. Most Parent's would kill knowing this about They're Children, Mine? I wonder. Riverton Wyoming where this all started is less than 11,000 in population, close knit.

No games here

    I am as honest as it comes. Yes I have a felony drug conviction but that in My mind does'nt make Me dishonest. A Thief I am not and that is a fact. As far as drugs go I say again it has been years since any use, I say for sure that I would pass a U.A. at this time too. I even gave a Friend a ride home recently and was asked to get stoned and I turned it down. I have no time for the crud Myself. At this point I just want to change My Life for the better. I insist on stating the fact that I was set up to make Me the way I am, and it is a sad thing to see these People getting away with it.

You need to know something

    I have mentioned Brian Foley a time or two. This is the type of People Richard Pattison hangs with. Brian showed up in Austin with some Black Fella one day. He tells Me They escaped from the San Antonio mental hospital. He was arrested for taking a pee on the court house I believe He said. A Cop beat Him up He told Me too. He had in His hand a .357 Mag. and was going to go back and kill Him He said. What I told Him was that the Cop had no right to beat Him and in return that He also had no right to take a Life over it. He understood and gave Me the gun. It was'nt long after that He was photoghraphed  in a tree on Campus at U.T., He was naked. I really do believe that this Character fakes most of His antics Myself, and I also feel He really is'nt stable. Richard just laughs about it Himself. And yet these People are allowed to Live a free Life. This Pattison Kid has two faces, I Myself don't like either one of Them.

Dignity

   I am not what is known as a dignified Person, meaning I can't respect Myself. I hurt so bad inside it's hard to believe that I live with the pain. Yesterday You read the writings of a Drunken Coward, for that is exactly what I am. My fate in Life is to be a Loser I guess. I read this morning about the assassination of the two Cops in New York, My condolences to the Families involved. I mention this due to the fact that I Myself am not that kind of a Person, to just kill another Human Being for no other reason then to do so is not My way. I said I have a possession of a controlled substance, less than a gram of cocaine. In Wyoming I am allowed to carry a concealed weapon if I want without even a permit, I have a black powder .44 under the seat of My pickup because of these types of Idiots. It is also a needed item when You go to the Mountains here, You hear every year where some Fool gets mauled by a Grizzlie Bear, Plus some tree hugger thought it wise to introduce Canadian Wolves into the area, now They are a dangerous Animal without fear of Humans. I say it straight when I say I will shoot a Cop killer without prejudice. Sincerley, Kelly McGill.

Few will understand

   I hurt for Nancy.

My kinda stuff

   Me? I would rather talk about Rabbit hunting Today. Esta Conejo con frio para Me comida, muy buen. I sure hope I got it right too.

Another Blog

   Here I am watching 'Dances with Wolves' when I understand something. It just may be what the Indians understood too. If these Assholes back in the 1800s had wanted to wipe Them out? It would have been too easy. I sure as Hell hope that Our Enemies don't see Us as easy Prey Today.

1 away from 1200

   Tonight I will hit 12000 page views. What that means is that People have looked at My page on Blogspot. Other then that I really do not know Who has looked at My Twitter account. There is a Country on the face of the Earth known as America, and I live upon it. That alone may be why I am ignored. The arrogance, set aside the ignorance, in which We live with daily, is astounding. My Family dates back generations itself. I do not recall if I told You about My far back Grandfather in the civil war. He was a Captain. He became shell shocked and was never the same. As far as fighting Indians, I have yet to be told. I know We have been in contact with the James Boys, in fact a Cousin is supposedly married to a direct decendent from Jesse. The truth be known My Uncle in the past was an Outlaw. We are the western history in which You People find interesting. The west has changed since the 1800s but dammit There are still crooks here too. All I seek is a chance.

8 away from 1200 pageveiws

   I retweeted the K.C. Police depts. tweet just to show some Folks how slow many of Us really are Here in America. I really do understand that They want to clean up this Land. We are being overrun and a solution is in order, also We are killing Ourselves from within.

One Hell of a Life

   Yes this is a real Life. I am a Person that has been through things very few will ever see. People just like to screw with a Kid like Me. Like the time in Cheyenne a few years back, I spent four months in Jail on an accusation. I was the one that found the discrepancy in the Police report that set Me free. I speak of wanting to take the Lives of these People that tried to utterly destroy My Life because They could, if I were a horrible Person that just wanted to kill Everyone that messed with Me I would have went after that Doctor. I am not sure if I explained what happened then. I called the Police and tried to explain about Richard Pattison and that I wanted to go to the mental institute so I could prove My sanity, I was drunk. After sitting in the E.R. for some time I sobered up a bit and decided I was going to leave. Two Male Nurses grabbed Me when I sat up and told Them I just wanted to go. They forced Me down and tied Me to the table I had been lying on. They left Me there for a long spell too. When the Police finally arrived They told Them I had hit the Doctor. In the Police report I had kicked Her on Her right side. Then when I read what She had said I supposedly kicked Her on the left side. Luck? I have none known as good.

How does a Fella win?

   In all seriousness I really do need to ask how to win. I show My ignorance daily Folks. Today I was told by the Owner of the company to attend a business luncheon, where I did fine. But afterwards I was talking to one of the representatives for one of the Subs and said something like, 'We was' where it should have been without saying We were. You work with People They rub off in My case. It's a 'Rez' thing to say aintit, and that is not a typo. Aintit is the way it sounds. All this proves is that I am a slow Person to People hearing it. Which in turn says it all, I am what I am. Richard Pattison knew this too and used it to His advantage. They knew I was too dumb to say no to the drugs I was being set up with. Again, the first time I did it there was music set up right where I would find it, very obvious looking back now. Another thing is that the only way into the building where I lived was through a security door, Freda knocked on My door when She brought the acid by. And now They are allowed to mess with Me? No true Adult would allow such nonsense. It is no wonder that People in the World want to kill Americans. No joke Folks, I moved out of the Cities due to the way things are going. Wake Your asses up!

Hopelessness

   As I said Yesterday it is nearing four whole years since I started this. A lot has happened in the World and America since then, it just shows how rapidly things happen. Like when I met Nancy, I went from a Kid that was brave enough with the Women to get phone numbers but now I shy away from fear of rejection and knowing I have the ability to scar Women with My screw up way. Their are People out there that willingly try to do harm to Others because They think They're right. Look around and see the craziness going on Today. They are actually trying to change Christmas even, leave People be. It's a Child's holiday for Christ sake, leave it be. In America We are supposed to have the right to believe in what We want, being it Atheism, Christianity, or even the Muslim beliefs We are supposed to accept it. But when You seek out ways to destroy the other You are not welcome in the eyes of America as a whole. I understand that I cannot speak for Everyone, but I know People and most just want to leave People alone. For years I have heard that "People just don't want to get involved" that allows the rotten ones to do more because of that attitude. I told You tat I saw on Americas most wanted an attempted armed robbery of an armored truck, the composite drawings were the exact match to three People I know in Texas. The guard got the jump on Them and jumped into the truck and They sped off. John Lucas owned at the time the exact gun They were using too, a mini m-14. He looked even in the re enactment to be shooting above the heads of the Guards, which would be John. I never said anything because They did'nt get away with any money and did'nt kill Anyone, I was wrong to do so. I even told John His face matched the drawings, as did Rodney Douglas and Tim Pruedom's. I was working for Lucas acouple years later when My lug nuts became loosened, that was when I called the F.B.I. in Austin and left a message about Them. They don't deserve to walk around free but I allowed it, never again.

Almost four years now

   It seems I am shunned. That People don't even give a damn about Me.

REALITY!

   I really have no respect for the title, it is disrespectful. No Man needs, nor is told such things. The problem is, I need to get My point across. I am crying My heart out heart. I admit to My faults People. I have told You about crawling into bed with a Girl after Bill Rowley and Ralph McMillan had had Their way with Her. The thing I recently thought about is this, I undressed crawled into bed, was accepted, and then She said, "Oh, You're not Bill!", and then I left the room. As I said before the Kid was there the next day lounging all over Me. When I just sat there She thanked Me and left. A set up? I insist that this Bill Rowley Kid was no Friend. Anybody that would set up a Friend that would go out of His way to help a Friend is no Friend at all, fact. I cry due to My Life, while They enjoy the spoils. Again I say, no Man would allow Their game. I told My Sister that Bill would be lucky if I did'nt shoot Him. I really do doubt My Families sincerity, Kelly.

Tweet 1000

   I said the Boss , George is a Man, I was wrong. This seventy year old screws with People. I understand that He has an agenda, but to lie to His Foreman's to create turmoil? It has been a few months since He told Me and another top Carpenter that We are about to be run off due to the lack of progress. The when alone He tells Me He's just pushing the Crew. Folks I live in a community where rumors abound. George is known and respected here. I have felt the feelings coming from the Person next to Me, a Native American that kept trying to but Me drinks Tonight, that I felt when I was robbed in Louisiana, I turned down drinks. There may be no connection between Richard Pattison and this, but money talks.

Age is catching up

   My body aches are showing My age. My Chiropractor told Me in '94 or so that I have arthritis in My lower back, now My fingers hurt like Hell was or twice a month to the point I can't grasp anything. What I am saying here is that I am running out of gas. From what I am seeing now I was supposed to be the one that was helped out in Life. If You knew the Foley Boy's You'd agree they are too much of a waste to offer anything to, but I can gaurantee Richard Pattison would do so. It is an odd Person this Richard, and very undeserving. I was just some Kid They knew They could walk all over and They did so. Those are the types of People that deserve nothing less than a good ass kicking. I hope to Hell They get Theirs soon because I am tired of it all.

When?

   The question I ask is when will I win? All My Life I have been a Loser. My Dad's nickname for Me was Charlie Brown to beat all. I tell it straight when I say that I feel like ending My miserable Life often, so give a poor Slob a chance. I am not a Pervert that does things to People, I am just a lost soul dragging Himself through Life with a broken heart.

I live a Life

   Here I am the Foreman on a big job, it in reality is a farce. I am over around fifteen People, most I refuse to call Men. The Arapaho Nation need seventy five percent Nationals on the Job, get Them to show up on time and put in a real days work. I hate the Boy's now. They try to walk all over You too. I have bitten a few heads off already. Even this Morning I had a Hand that I told He had to rework something, His reply was that He's just go Home. My reply? Go. I really do disrespect People that think They're better than You. The Owner of the Company even said that They hate Me for being a Badass that runs circles around Them, which I knew. Spoiled little Kid's are all around in America, Race means nothing. But I have witnessed over the years some races try harder. What this means in the long run is that I can quit any day. I will not put up with crap in which I am angry all the time. To make a long story short, People push this to the point where I am fighting pissed.

common sense

   I am the first to admit to My faults, and common sense is one. In the first place drugs would have never been introduced. Another? I would be married to Sheila. Hugh Hefner contacted a Child.

Help has to be out there

   I can understand that People would think this is a farce but I am a real Person. I feel hopeless at times seeing nothing being done. I am serious when I say that I walked into the U.S. Marshals office in Cheyenne Wyoming. The Man I talked to when entering sent Me to the U.S. Attorneys office. All I accomplished was pretty much the same as I am doing here, I filled out a paper They gave Me but not the way a normal Person would. I wrote on the back how I was writing this stuff and They needed to look at it. My reason being is that I really am an emotionally destroyed Life. I am not just saying so either. I know Myself well, I would break down in front of Them. What I am saying is I cry very easy. I understand it says I am messed up, but that is what I have been saying all along. All I want in Life is a chance. I have had a few before but I was worse then I am at the present. In the nineties I was so lost I still wonder how I survived. I had My shirt tied My neck while in Jail but could'nt finish the job, I put away My .44 Mag. because I was seriously tempted, I hurt so bad in 2001 I grabbed My Buck knife and came close to cutting My own throat, and once I drove through the thick fog like a crazy Man hoping to end My Life in a wreck. Today I look back and see how My Life was and it is scary. My words when I awake each day, and I mean daily, are I hate this Life. Again I never asked for any acid back in the eighties, but it sure as Hell was there.

An honest Soul

   The only thing I have accomplished in My Life thus far is becoming an Honest Person. Not saying I won't steal to eat, but I won't lie. Even with a felony record, a small amount of cocaine, I am an honest Person. This means I never hit an old Lady in the head just to get high, which is an average saying too. I am a Person willing to take it to the extremes, I just hope that it never comes to that. I admit that I went to the streets of Santa Monica looking for this Richard Pattison and I came to My senses enough that I never made it to Wenachie Washington to take Bill Rowley, but I scare Myself when I think of My capabilities. I sure as Hell hope that I have an Officer out there that takes this serious.

In My mind

    If People could see the reality of the Grown mind. It is a fact of Life that it changes You, I Myself have been through it. Even though some remain Children Others are shocked into growth upon witnessing the difference. I Myself? I am a rare Being, I am stuck in a World You would call Insane. Look hard at a Grown Adult, the aires Themselves will amaze Children.

I insist on justice

   I still wonder if this is even worth My time.

Today

   I cannot understand some People. Like the Architect on Our job. He draws it in a sketchy manner and then says find it Yourself. I have said for years that I dislike Architect and Engineers for a reason. It is His job to draw it out so a Man can follow it, not do as You please. This arrogance is what We deal with in the field, They get paid enough to look down on Us Peons. I say it now that I will not lay out another thing without proper drawings, I moved enough Today. The thing is, I can screw it up and then fix it faster than many can do it once, really. I say this just to show You how People are. I have a set of plans in My truck that are so scares on the measurements it is outrageous.

No joking matter

   I want to explain My anger of recent years. I am working with a piece of F.R.P. paneling and struggling with it. The cuss words I was using would curl the ears of some. Some Kid in the other room thought it funny that I was so pissed about it, My words were, ' If You're laughing at Me I'll knock You plumb the Fuck out!', there was no reply. It was purely unprofessional on My part and uncalled for too. Even Richard Pattison and Bill Rowley know Me better then that. I was a Kid that was walked all over with a soft attitude towards it, many of You out there would have been in a lot of fights if treated the way I was in Life, Me? I let it roll off My back like a Coward does. The difference being is I knew I would hurt People bad and stayed away from it. As I say I sent the first Kid I fought to the Hospital with a crushed nose. It's easy to prove too, Ray Joe Lewis went to the Stanton California Hospital in 1962, or '63 with a messed up nose. I still try to walk away, but dammit when Kids piss Me off I lose it. I hate it later too.