Smilin' Smelly

   I was in Louisiana when I heard a commercial on the radio, "Don't be a smelly Belly.", it said, just wondering if it happened to relate to My nickname Smilin' Smelly. Yea, that is a crude one for a fact, I have gas at times and I was driving the bosses truck when His license was revoked, He hated Me for it and Rick Spain named Me that. Pretty bad I will admit, but I wonder if these Boys had anything to do with it. I got something for You that You may not beleive, but I do have wittnesses. Here I am at around age eight standing on the beach at Hunington beach California watching the ocean, I am just watching the waves when all of a sudden a freak wave jumps up and grabs My butt, no joke. The next thing I know I am in the riptide and being sucked out to sea. Scared? Not in the least until I started to run out of breath, hell You don't have time to get scared really. But when I knew I was about to drown I was a bit worried, that was when I got lucky. I saw the sun shining through the water and knew which way was up, My instinct was to kick off the bottom of the ocean and get out of it. I was around twenty feet deep at the time, seriously. I e-mailed the head Honcho of the Lifegaurds telling Him a few years back. You know I got out of the water and sat by My family and nobody even asked if I was alright. The funny thing about this story is that it happened again in 1991 or '92. The first time the wave was about twelve feet high, the second it must of been around twenty, no bull either. The difference between the two times is that I did'nt get scared the second time, I was out and body surfed My way to the beach within a matter of nothing. Sounds made up I know, but I cannot lie to You. My whole family saw the first time. Whoa! Is what I still say, especially after two times. I aint positive about the exact spot, but I was within a few yards on both occasions. This I feel needs to be mentioned due to the fact that the riptide kills People all of the time, HEY, LISTEN UP, IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE SHARK FOOD YOU MIGHT AS WELL TRY IT AND SEE IF IT WORKS! If it don't , well I can only say You did'nt do it right Pal. As the saying goes, "My name is not Kelly McGill if it don't work.". I got another saying here, one that should put a little light on the subject of what Richard Pattison and Bill Rowley were about when I was being recruited as a band member, "Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll.", kinda sounds like Chicks, Candy, and Rock and Roll to Me. Hey, seriously People, I am a lost soul wishing I never met these Guys here. I say it again that I never intentionally seeked out any drugs, they mysterious wound up at My door. Freda (Fred) Mares and I got along pretty good years later when I saw Her around town. She was the Gal that brought it by for Me. If She has any sense She would call the law and admit to being sent to Me, Fred come on, if You are reading this take a hand in bringing down some dispicable People. Girl My life  is a wreck because of them. YOU EVER HERE ME LIE BEFORE FRED?! Good God! Have a great day Folks, Kelly McGill