Why do I try?

  I really wonder about a Guy that insists on telling His darkest secrets just to bring down some Jerk that messed His life up, and then continues to screw with Him. But what else can I do short of killing Somebody? "The Waterboy" is more than likely one of Richards shows, I told You about My high school football career. I was the bench warmer for sure. One thing I can say is that if I got My hands on You You were going down. I never was a blocker, but I never missed a tackle. "Truman" is another one. I never played the so-called "Game" that Kids play, so I was the one left in the dark. Just like Truman He never knew He was a special case. "Our Idiot Brother" maybe? I know I'm just throwing things out here, but "Kelly! Kelly! Kelly!"? I know for a fact that this is about Yours truly. I garuantee that if You were to look into Jon Peirson in Pflugerville Texas You would find a cyber trail straight to this Pattison and Rowley. He had to have been the one that said where I had My tent pitched in Austin when the old Boy came in yelling My name. I seriously ask Somebody to take these People down before I decide I have had enough and go kill Someone, really!

Damn Hick anyways!

   I have to say I learned something about My Sister Kay tonight. We were sitting around talking after all the Kids went to bed when My youngest Sister asked Kay the one a few years older than Myself how Her and Gordy Her Husband had met. I was quite surprised when She talked about Their first date. They went to dinner then went and had a few drinks. While at Al's Gas lite They danced, She said it was as if They were the only two on the dance floor. I have been there too. When I was looking at this Woman in love with Me on the dance floor in the Dallas night club in Austin I saw nothing else but Her. Everybody else was oblivious to Me. You would have to be there to completely understand. True love is a reality and that My Friends is a fact of life. I tell no lie when I tell You I really do wake up every morning with Her on My mind, and that was in 1982 when I met Her. I have been a totally lost Child for the past thirty plus years. I insist on going on through sheer stubborness for sure. If You have never really been in love, it is quite a feeling. Even though She is'nt here She still brings a smile to My face. "When You're in love, that's all You can think of.", is straight up fact. I remember a few words I have been wanting to share that I learned as a small Child, including the ones I just wrote down. "I sure have a lot to learn.", "That's not very Manly.", "Wet behind the ears little Girl.", 'That's a Girl if I've ever seen one.", '"I need a Girl like I need another hole in My head.", 'I'm lost without You.", "Lost and lonely.", "That old Girl grew.", "Smart allecky Kid.", "Good for nothing Kid", "That Man's a Kid." and many others are in My mind from the time I was three. I told You about the Puppy scaring the Hell out of Me, that's the only way I can explain Me being so attentive at that young age and being able to watch and listen to everything around Me. I have live an amazing life, even with it's heartaches it has been an astonishing life. I hope I open the eyes to a lot of things with My little blog here and let the Youth see the real Grown Adults, as I have said the truly Full Grown People have a feeling I cannot explain, You just have to see it to understand. Have a great life Folks, sincerely, Kelly McGill.

Damn!

   I'm still here? What the Hell is going on? I can't do a thing about Richard Pattison. I am fed up with this crap. Tough luck I see. Well maybe Tomorrow, because I sure as Hell am not quitting Tonight. Kelly.

Wednesday November 27th 2013 11:47 a.m.

   All I can say is I am sickened by the way this Country is turning. We have a Government that a large number of Us are embarrassed by, and that My Friends is sad.

Damn Kelly!

   I am sure I am getting cussed pretty good by Hefner, I just bug Him to show You that I am right when it comes to being approached by Him. If I were making it up it's like I said before They'd be hollering harassment. I seriously can't get over how He ignores Me. When I first started contacting Him I was the nicest S.O.B. about it, but now I really could'nt care less How He feels about Me. I have good news for Ya, I still am staying sober. I drank one beer around two weeks ago and only then because it was in My cooler and I refused to just throw it away. I still know in My heart that I can stay dry too, I have no desire to go out drinking. In My twenties and thirties I was a raging Drunkard. I lived to drink in fact. If I had twenty bucks on Me I was going to the Bar. There was one winter where Me and Mike Durgin were both unemployed but We stayed drunk. His Dad let Him use His backhoe and dump truck. We made enough to go to Town and hit Al's Gaslight where We'd play a poker machine and clean up. We would walk in with maybe thirty bucks between Us and stagger out with around thirty a piece when We were done. Frigid Wyoming winters in a dump truck going to Town without a heater, We felt no pain going home, or the cold. Like I said I was a Punk that thought He could actually drive home drunk, I do not even think about it now. You see I have done some growing up in My life, even though most of the time I still feel like a Child. I am Man enough to grow, stopping the drinking is My proof on that. You Folks have a great night, I gotta go, Kelly.

Good luck gone bad

   I hate My fucking life. Really. Even when I am the luckiest Bastard on the face of the Earth, I still lose. Just today I tried to have My brake drums ground. I had to buy new ones and did'nt have enough to buy two. So the Guy at the parts store sells Me two of them at $15. a piece. When I get to the house the center hole is too small. I go back He gives Me two more but the holes for the studs are too small. At least I saved $70., but now I have to grind the hole to make it fit. He did say even if I do so He'll honor the warranty. Figures. Talk about luck, I am set up with something in My life and I get the shit end of the stick. Holy crap, what Friends I wound up with. I really do hate to go on and on about My silly ass life, but Hell Man I deserve better. I have to say that if Craig Furguson had'nt of said, "Richard Pattison, Killeen Texas!", I would have never even thought about what these People were doing to My life, Thanks Craig. Now I have this pure hatred inside of Me for these People that I know will never leave. Fuck letting it go and forgiving. People that say that don't have a clue what My life is about. Here I am a spaced out Kid and They live the high life and screw with Me. I have tried My damndest to take these Fools down. I started at the top too. I went to the U.S. Marshals in D.C., the thing is I went on the web and found one of the top dogs. John Clark is the Man in charge of investigating all the other Officers when They screw up. It did'nt do any good just like this. But so help Me I will bring down these People, just short of Murder, I hope.

What next?

   What can I say, I gotta say something. It is tougher then You think to keep this interesting. I have depleted all My sorry ass life stories. Even though I am sure I can think back and find something that happened in My life that I might be missing. Damn, I am sitting here really trying to think of something. I should do like I did when I was living in the streets of Santa Monica. I would make sure I put notes in My phone daily so I would remember what I wanted to say everyday. I think of stuff during the day still but when it comes time to write My mind is a blank. If I were a Liar I'm sure I could make up something clever to say, but I am not nor will I be. Other then that, You Folks have a good night. Sincerely, Kelly McGill.

Still here.

   I at least am getting readers I see. One week ago I hit 5000 pageveiws and already I am at 5485, wow! I really don't have anything to say tonight, sometimes I feel I have to get on here so People know I'm still alive. I really can't get over how I can pester Hugh Hefner in such a manner and He still does'nt at least tell Me too shut up. I aint lying when I say it has been years either. I started trying to get in touch with Hugh in 2001, no bull. I sent hand written letters to Playboy in Chicago. I have sent so many emails to that Boy it is ridiculous. I used to, and know I will again, contact Them through Their main site. I do it now just to piss the Asshole off. I really should'nt call Him an Asshole without knowing Him, for one thing He did try to contact a Dumbass Kid. My Friends? What a lot? They set Me up so I could become a Musician, Fuckers! I hope to Hell Karma bites 'em hard. Have a great night Folks, Kelly.

Seriously!

   I can't catch a break. Holy crap! I tell Hugh Hefner He's a piece of Shit and it does'nt seem to tick Him off. I doubt if He is'nt mad, He just can't do a damn thing because He's involved with this cover up. I can bet money that money was involved and Richard was just handed it. I say this because of that Party I walked into, those were wealthy People there. I told You about the Man behind the Gal I was talking to, He never took His eyes off of Me the whole time. He sat there and smiled at Me. This was a true Man too, He had the feeling. He is the type I can tell that would have tried to help Me out in life. I have no proof but I know I was ripped off. I thought it was strange when all of a sudden Brian Foley's Mom was a Millionaire over night. They got the Hell out of Riverton Wyoming too. An d now Richard Pattison is rubbing elbows with these wealthy People and rubbing it in. If I was set up with wealth and He wound up with it He is in possession of stolen property. I would love nothing more then to see these People sit in Prison for a few years. I seriously cannot understand why He and His Cronies are allowed to screw with My life on Television and nothing is being done. Who in the Hell is receiving a bribe out there? I know there are honest Cops in America, but We all know there are Crooks in the field also. God Dammit I am Mad as Hell about all of this crap!

Huh!

  I can send Hugh Hefner a message and call Him a piece of shit and He looks the other way? If I were making this up He would have Agents knocking on My door. Rich People? They think They're untouchable. This is a sickening World We live in that's for damn sure. I am disgusted with all of it. Here I sit and watch this Asshole Richard screw with Me and I have My hands tied, what a crock! People I am a Victim here and I demand justice! I am so pissed off right now, this is a farse for sure. Hell, They joke about it as if it were a Man to do so. I tell You right here and now a Full Grown Man does not find this amusing. Nor will He recognize these People as Adults. Immaturity runs rampant in America and that is a fact of life. I have mentioned suicide a few times before. Tonight My heart ached so bad for Nancy I had the thoughts again. One thing that keeps Me going is the future, I see a War on the horizon and I want to be here for it. I know that does'nt sound right, but it keeps Me alive. This Country is on the verge of collapse due to the management of it. We allow other lands to overrun Us and then cry about it when it's too damn late. This Obama character is leading Us down a path of destruction. They cry Racist, Buddy I hate that shit. For years now We have heard other races talk crap, They want a War here to cleanse America I have said it before. It is history repeating itself, population control. Well You do know where all these rich Bastards will be, hidden. While the regular People will be getting killed. I have said enough.

Depressing to say the least

   My Life sucks, I really hate to work on vehicles. Everytime I fix something I either have to do it again or something else fucks up. I was feeling pretty good about doing My brakes the other day, while in there I figured I had better check the oil in the rearend. Well it did'nt look so good so I took off the cover only to find I have three chipped teeth on the ring gear. I put new oil in it and test drove, seeing as it was running I thought I'd wait until I get the money before I fix it. Not a chance, now I have a loud noise that was'nt there before. I don't trust it to go across town. The luck of the Irish right? This Life has been nothing but a farse for sure. Depressing? Do You even need to ask? Every cent I have to My name will be spent by the time I put another rearend in. $300. to a lot of You is chicken feed I am sure, but that breaks Me. What really bothers Me is that I am not supposed to be the Loser, fate sucks. I refuse to give in though for I will come out on top somehow.

Justice?

   Hell, I can't even get Geraldo to talk to Me. Do You want to know something about this Rowley Kid. We were sitting in Casper Wyoming once, there were two Gals at the table with Us and this Kid says out loud, "I'm hung.", all I could do was to look at Him. What a Freak I say. If You said something like that in front of a Woman like Nancy I would have to challenge a Boy for it. Arrogance is a way of life, one inwhich I have no respect for either. I have only high hopes, even though I do doubt, that this is going to have the right effect on these People and see Them in Jail. As I say I doubt it even though I am hopeful. I sure do hope the Kids out there realize that I play no game too, stay the fuck off the drugs, period. Kelly.

This still sucks!

   I am here? Why? It seems to do no good at all. But what the Hey, I gotta try right? I can't even get Hugh Hefner to call the Cops on Me, Damn! If I were in Southern Cal right now I'd go knock on the gates of the Mansion again just to piss Him off. It really bothers Me that He sent Me that Playboy and now ignores Me, Hell Hugh I never asked for Your attention Pal. I think I know what that was about. I bet money I was supposed to go back to the Marriott and see some People so They could see what I was like when I was'nt frying on acid. But no, these little Bastards set Me up with enough L.S.D. to fry an Elephant and then gave Me the Playboy. Their damn lucky I did'nt read it too. If I would have read that and it said do not show up doing drugs I would have lost it on Kevin and Scott for a fact. I tell You no lies here Folks. I can understand, as I have said before, that when I say I was handed a Playboy with a story, or whatever it was, about Me is hard to believe. Again I have to say that there is no way on Earth that I would go to these lengths, and I sure as Hell would'nt be bothering Hugh Hefner, if it were a lie. This shit pisses Me off when I think of how I was railroaded by My own Friends. It's just like John Dorral told Me once, "Don't trust Anybody.", wise words. I know there are no redoes in Life, so I am stuck with the Life created by what was done to Me and I deal with it the best I can. People say to forget and forgive, Bullshit! These People deliberately set out to destroy My Life and nearly succeeded with Their task. As I have said if I had done the Ether They asked Me to do I would be a slobbering Imbisile sitting in a mental institute for the rest of My Life. Thank God I had enough sense to know better than to do the junk. I'm out a here, this really does suck. Kelly.

Hell if I know !

   Well? What can I say Today? I sure wish I could win the Lotto, that's a fact. I remember a time when a Guy just asked for a job and was hired, today? They want You to get on the computer and tell Them Your life story, and then go piss in a cup. I can pass a drug test no problem, but if You have one blemish on Your record You might as well panhandle. You wonder why there are so many Homeless out there? They don't have a home for one, People look down on Them. I did get a job while Homeless the first time I went to Santa Monica. I was hired as a Carpenter and once hired asked if I can do anything else. I was put in charge of a shovel digging an 8x8 hole six foot deep. After digging for two days He tells Me that He has a tool for knocking the dirt loose. Then after shoveling it out of the whole for all that time He tells Me He wants it all moved to the dumpster sitting out side of the fence all this time. It would have been a bit easier to throw it into a wheelbarrow the first time. After doing this all week I looked at the fence next to Me and realized He could have brought a backhoe in and dug it in one day and used a Bobcat to move the dirt, no They want You to kill Yourself to save a buck or two. I walked off the job. Myself? When Guys work for Me and I am making money no matter what They get forty hours. I usually buy breakfast and give Them a bonus every week too. You know I'd still be in Texas sub-contracting right now if I could, but it is getting to the point that You wait too much for work to start. I got sick of working enough to get caught up and then waiting for a job to start and winding up so deep in pawn it takes the half the time on the job to catch up again. I finally went to driving a cab. That was'nt a bad job in Killeen, except there are way too many cabs. I was lucky to make $50. a day. Sure when the I.R.S. looks at it You were making a lot according to what is turned in, but You pay for Your own gas cutting it down immensely. Enough for today, I'll C-Ya later, Kelly.

Can Ya blame Me?

   This Richard Pattison is a Squirlly S.O.B. to say the least. He always thought He was the best around. I hate having to talk about it like this, but what else can a Guy do? I'm making it short and sweet Today because I have to go do My brakes. I'll bitch some more later, Kelly.

Something I just have to say.

   You know, We have People that want to see America fall. I Myself will stand till the end for this great Country, but I see what it is that They hate. We have People like this Richard Pattison that like to mess with those They feel are defenseless. Then We have People like this Hugh Hefner, They are allowed to expose the Girls nude like They do. The Female body is an attractive thing when in fine shape, of course. But it really is an abnormal thing to be able to make it rich by exposing it. Of course there are worse items out there like Pornos and even Hustler. At least Hefner does have some taste in what He shows. But as it is it is wrong in reality. People say the buy the magazine for the articles, I believe Them too. I have read quite a few of His articles and They can be enlightening to say the least. Even though I have read quite a few of His cartoons and some are in bad taste because They ridicule People like Myself. I have contacted Hefner so much it is hard to believe I have not been contacted by the Police. I have called Him out, told Him He is not a Man, and called Him a Pervert just to get Him mad enough to do something. Mainly I would love to get these People in court just once, I know for a fact Richard Pattison set Me up and now He's rubbing elbows with the wealthy People in Hollywood and laughing at Me for what I have become. Come to Wyoming Richard! I know He would'nt do such a thing. Richard has'nt been around here much since He ran away from Home at sixteen. His Dad knew how immature He was and would'nt let Him get a drivers license so He did what spoild Children do, He ran away from Home. I almost did once but got caught in the act, I needed to. I told You how My Sister Lois used to scream at Me. I might have told about the day My Mom threw My album across the roo. She said turn it down, I did but not enough for Her. She stormed into the room and said "I told You to turn it down!" and threw it. It was a birthday present from My two older Sisters, more then likely Kay mainly. After She left the room I started packing. Before long She came back in to tell Me She was going somewhere and saw what I was up to. The moral of the story is to be nice to Your Kids Dammit, They hurt inside for a long time after. Kelly.

Mess with that Guy!

   The Cave Dude is what I was called around '95. Tim Pruedomme worked with Us and liked to talk down to Folks. I still have that problem where I hold My temper. Not always as I said before, but when You have to work with Someone You bite Your tongue at times. Now I see "It's so easy a Caveman can do it.". Who knows if all these things are out there just to screw with Me or not, but I know for a fact that there are certain ones that are. I told Jon Pierson to tell Richard to say 'Eeeah!' and it was said on Tyler Perry's show, "Grandpa Kelly says Eeeahh!", is blatantly saying it. They use My name and all. "Kelly! Kelly! Kelly! Ah, I wanted the Magilla Gorilla!" is another example of Their abusive actions. I am dead serious when i say I really want to hurt this Pattison Kid. I have a five year old Nephew, Ethan, He has been diagnosed as Autistic. He even thought that some Kid pushed His older Brother down and tore into Him. They had to pull Him off, the Boy would have beaten Him without stopping Folks. That is the way of Us slower People like Me and Him. I want nothing more than to see justice done. To change the subject. I told You about Our boot holster, well We got a hit on Someone interested in them. A Fort Worth boot maker contacted Me Today and I sent Him pictures of Our home made version. Cross Your fingers. To all You Officers out there, this is a holster sewn directly into the boot on the inside of the leg. A real easy access when needed, better than the ankle type. So keep Your eyes open for Them. Have a great weekend, Kelly.

Here again.

   Dammit all to Hell! I just sent enough tweets to Hugh Hefner that He really should be pissed off about Me. I know for a fact He will not press charges on Me for harassment due to the fact that I speak the truth and They do not want it known. I am an innocent Victim here of a crime that I want to take to the top courts if I can. I will not give up People. I think of this Richard Pattison and get so mad I know for a fact that I would grab Him by the throat and rip it out. I can't help it. When I realize He is out there and getting away with what it is that He and His Partner Bill Rowley did I want blood. It is disgusting how People get away with crimes if They have money, it is truly sickening. I am an honest son of a Bitch if nothing else in My life, and I deserve a chance. I truly hope these Boy's don't approach Me because I would be locked up for Murder. Kelly McGill says so here and now.

This morning.

   Do You want to know what sucks? When You are dreaming of the Woman that loves You and You wake up from the dream. That is what happened this morning. Nancy is on My mind so much I have dreams about Her all the time. I hate life when You wake up alone from such a dream. I am sure You all know what pain feels like, but I doubt if any of You can completely understand the agony of such a dream. I live with a life that is so screwed up I am really surprised I even live. I have to push on though, like I said before it might just be Tomorrow that I win it all. Enough said, this is depressing. Kelly.

My most important letter to date, Kelly.

   I was laying awake in bed and thinking of the World as it is Today, and it scares the Hell out of Me. Here We are on the verge of all out War on the soil of the United States, nearer than most realize. This is a sobering fact of Life. We as a Nation are full of Believers in the word of a book known as the Bible. In this book there are stories beyond the beliefs of many normal People. I for one see it in a manner of My own. I believe Jesus walked the Earth, but I have My doubts that He actually did the things written. A fairy tale of sorts is what some perceive it as. Then We have the People on Earth that feel the Karaan is the right way. These People are insane beyond reason. I have read enough of it to understand They want blood. I can see why They want to hate America, We allow Gay marriages for one, immoral is what that is. But We do not condone the raping of Women and Children, nor do We say it is okay to commit murder. We do have some sense of sanity Here. I am wrong to say some sense, for there are many among Us that are rational Adults. We are under attack in America by People that are trying to take control of the World in My opinion, and the only way They can do that is to destroy the powerhouse We are. Islam is a serious threat to the World, not only America, but to all decent People. I for one say that We need to eradicate the World of this Problem before it becomes unstoppable. And if the President of the United States backs these People We are in deep shit. One thing these People need to understand is that We will win at all costs, that means We will blow up the World before We allow these type of People to gain control. And that My Friends is a fact. I hope You will join in with Me in a prayer. Our heavenly Father, We seek the strength to overcome the adversities We are being faced with. We are at a junction in Our history as a Country where We have to see clearly what it is that is right in front of Us. I fear many of Us do not understand what it is that We approach in Our future. I sincerely hope I am wrong, for I do not wish to witness what it is that I foresee. I ask for You to enlighten and open the eyes of the blind on Earth, be Them American or Whom ever. May the good People prevail over evil as it should be in a normal World. With the will of God We shall overcome this terror gripping Our lives. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

A born Loser!

  Yep, I lose, Again and again and again and again. It never fails, even when things go right I fall flat on My face. I have one to tell You here about when I was nineteen, before I was really a loser. Here I am crossing the street and I see a Cop, well I started squealing like a Pig. Once We got across the street I told Bill Rowley I wanted to go back. Well I walked back doing the same thing. When We reached the other side this Officer came over and shoved Me. I looked at Him and said 'I aint drunk and You can't do a damn thing about it!' and walked on by. A few months later Pat Lookingbill burned rubber and a Cop showed Him what power was all about by doing the same pulling into the parking lot. Later We were walking along and I saw that same Cop. I started squealing away and He pulled over in front of Us. I asked Him 'You must be new Here?' when He said He was I told Him 'I thought so.' and walked on by. Yep, I was a Hotdog back then. I thought My shit smelled like perfume, I was mistaken. Now I will, and have done, tell Officers that if I see Them in distress I will be the one stopping. If I see Someone shooting at an Officer I will without a doubt run His ass down. I was a Kid that did'nt have the sense God gave a Mule, and to this day I still don't show much. Even though I gave up he drugs and I am sticking to the sobriety. I don't even want to go out and drink a beer, I know in My heart I am finished with that nonsense. I have some more crap I aint proud of, I have over a span of thirty three years had three convictions for D.U.I. and two more I ran from. In the eighties a Guy could get away with it to a point and I never realized how stupid I was. Out of those there are only two I feel I really deserved. I admit I was not sober on any of them, but I still passed Their test before I was finally arrested. That My Friends is behind Me, I refuse to even drink a drop again. I was sober for a year and a half until I got around a so-called Friend, "Just one beer.", is what They say, a true Friend does not think it funny to see You jump off the wagon. If I see this same Fellow again I will tell Him to walk away from Me. I was, and still am, an innocent Human Being. I still have a problem talking to Women. I do know what it is to carry on an Adult conversation with Women though, but most of the time I just clam up. I feel I am unworthy, what Woman wants a dinged out Kid? Sad but true. Kelly.

The hard Life!

   If You can't tell by now, My life is what is known as a Mother Fucker. Excuse the course language but I am pissed off about all of this crap. These People are being allowed to mess with My Life and Nobody seems to be able to do a thing. I am dead serious when I say that I was camping out in Austin for a spell. One day while playing My guitar a Fella comes into My area yelling "Kelly! Kelly! Kelly!", around a year later I was watching the Simpson's and Homer is looking for His Wife Marge yelling, "Marge! Marge! Marge! Or is that Kelly! Kelly! Kelly!" and He finished by saying "Ah, I wanted the MaGilla Gorilla!", this My Friends makes Me so God Damned mad I want blood. I told You I went to Santa Monica just hoping to run into this Pattison Fella, I really hoped I would run into Him too. I said that I knew He is supposed to be in San Francisco, but I knew nothing of the place. Having been in Santa Monica before I knew exactly where I could eat daily. "Richard Pattison, Killeen Texas!" is another one that makes Me mad. These People are doing this to rub it in that I was'nt bright enough to know what it was that Hugh Hefner was sending Me the Playboy for. This is as serious a matter as there is in My opinion, I really want to hunt this Bastard down and put a bullet into Him Folks. The only thing that keeps from doing so to His Pal Bill Rowley is that I would rather see Them sit in Jail for a few years. I can say for a fact though that if I were to become terminally ill for some reason Bill would be killed before I went under ground. You really have to understand, this Child here is so blind at times that He breaks hearts of the ones that love Him. By God I am a retarded Person and I demand respect. I want these People in jail now.

More nonsense!

   I am pissed off. I told You about work being in Cheyenne, well I tried to get a job there today. This job is paying $32.21 an hour for qualified People. I was told since I have a record I was not going to be hired because the Air Force goes not allow Anybody with a record on Base. Bullcrap! I have worked on Base in Killeen Texas many times in the past, before I went to Santa Monica I was driving a cab on Base. It is ridiculous how it is in this Country when it comes to treating People right. I was refused an apartment once and the Gal pointed to the paperwork where it said I had a felony and was told, "That's the reason.". A Guy like Me gets run over and the People that commit real crimes like Richard Pattison and Bill Rowley walk away scott free, Bullshit! These are the times when I say to Myself that I should just end My life, but then I say to Myself that I might just win Tomorrow and keep plucking away. I plan on getting My record cleared through exspungement only it takes money. I know I can request a pardon too, again I need the cash. Give a Guy a break once in a while. I bet money that most of these People that blackball People have done the exact things I have, the difference is They never got caught. Less than a gram of Cocaine is a simple mistake, in actuality it was around two lines of the junk. I have'nt, and don't plan on doing, any of that crap for years now. It sure feels good to know I grew past that phase in My life. Kelly.

Holy Smokes, 5000 pageveiws!

   I am really surprised that People are actually reading this more than ever. If You saw it on My page I have contacted Hugh Hefner again, if I were lying about all of this there is no way on Earth I would go to such extremes. Like I said when I was in Santa Monica, I walked straight up to the gates of the Playboy mansion and requested an audience with Hugh personally. It still blows My mind that these Fellas can do this to My life and be accepted by Hefner and His crowd. All I was in life was a Kid that wanted to get along, and believe Me when I say that in itself was a tough thing to do. When You try to walk away from fist fights the Kids just push You all that much harder. I never really felt fear when confronted by the Boys, I just did'nt want to hurt Anyone. As I have said My first fight sent the Boy to the hospital. I snap kicked Him square in the nose without even knowing the word Karate at the time. The Kids around school after that started saying if You pushed Somebodies nose into the brain it would kill Them. Yes in four hours They will bleed internally until They die, but not instant death. I could see Ray Joe Lewis's Brother Dave starting that story. I still try to walk away, but the Kids in this land have to push a Guy like Me. I sure do hope someday They'll figure out that a Guy like Me really needs to be left alone. I am what is known as a natural when it comes to moving fast, Bill knew this for a fact too. He saw Me stop Billy Shlattery dead in His tracks on maid street here in Riverton. He also knew that I jumped off the ground and grabbed Rick Kranz before Rick could blink. They just have to try You and see if They can best a Fella. I am in no way a tough Guy, but when pushed I am a very dangerous Person, mainly because I study the Arts and it is a reaction to hit or kick when moved towards. What I am after is easy, bring these Boys down before We meet and I wind up in Prison for Manslaughter. Seriously, Kelly McGill.

What the Hell?

   I have no way out but to bring down this Richard Pattison Kid. I feel all is for not, but I can't quit. I was asked to join a Band when I did'nt even know how to play an instrument. As I have said I was home after work when I discovered Rushes 2112 sitting on top of the stereo. Before I could even start to play it Freda Mares came by with some acid, exactly like She did the weekend before when I found Pink Floyds Animals in the same manner. Within a few days Bill Rowley told Me that "Richard wants You to join in a Band.", suspicious is exactly what it is. I tell no lie when I say I moved to Texas and Kevin Childers a Friend of Bills that went along kept coming up with acid for Me to do. If You can't tell I was a slow Child, I never understood the side effects of doing L.S.D. or I would have never done the crap. I wound up crashing a Party in Austin and a week later, believe it or not, I was handed a Playboy. This Playboy in no way was a normal one to start with, the articles in it were interesting too. One stated "The Laws of Love." meaning no Gays allowed. Another was about the Lord of the rings, this told Me I was to be a Guitarist. I swear I browsed through that Magazine looking at every page in it, except for the article saying I had walked into the Party. While I was breezing through it I turned a page and it was a continuance of the main story, low and behold there is My name in print. I already knew it was about Me but I did'nt really care. The thing that really pisses Me off here is that I was set up with enough acid to destroy My mind, and once I was feeling the effects I was handed this Playboy and left alone. Buddy that Fucked My Life up. My mind has never been the same. I will not give up on justice, and the reason being is that I know it is obtainable if I find the right People to take charge. Again I would submit to a truth serum to prove My case. THank You for reading this, and pray that I prevail, Kelly.

A new Day

   To start with I wish to say thanks to all the Veterans out there, I still feel I made the mistake of not joining the Military when I was fresh out of school. Instead I became a damn Hippy. One that was so naive even My closest Friends thought it cute to screw with My life. My Family too. I was at My Grandfathers house doing something outside, when We finished My Dad wanted to go inside. I knew how My Granddad felt about long hair and said He would'nt want Me in there. Dad insisted and when We were inside My Grandpa sat with His back to Me and never said a word to Me. I realize it was all set up now. I finally cut My hair because of Him. My Family has a way of being cold to Me, but what does a Guy do? Disown Them? I am treated now in the nicest manner since I told the Folks off about the crap They pulling, even too nice to tell the truth. But it beats the Hell out of some of the crap They were doing. Well, enough of this junk for today. I hope You enjoy Your day out there, and everything is going good in Your life, sincerely, Kelly McGill.

Are You mad yet?

   I ask if You're mad, I sure as Hell am. One thing I figured out tonight though is that I am incapable of being a Killer. I was watching a show about a serial Killer and it did'nt take much for Me to realize that would not be Me. Yes I believe I could shoot Someone that deserves to be killed, I did go after a Rapist in Danville Indiana. And when I took the axe away from Thomas in Virginia it was after He had tried to hit Me in the head with it. Yes I went to Santa Monica to take Richard down, even though I knew I'd never find Him. If I really wanted Richard I would have went to San Francisco that's where He's supposed to be. In Santa Monica I was in reality trying to get noticed. Sure I want Him dead and would hurt the Boy bad, more than likely I would beat Him to death for the rage He causes. I was hoping I would run into Him really, but that was no more than wishful thinking. I garuantee that if He or Bill Rowley were to try and be friendly with Me I would lose it on Them. I can ear Bill Now, "Let by gones be by gones.", Hell Son You fucked My life up, do You think I am going to forgive? "Turn the other cheek.", not likely Pal. If nothing else I will break a bone for You, and You know I am very capable of taking You any day of the week in a fair fight. I write again about this because I am at a point in My life where I want nothing less than to see these Boy's brought to justice, it is what I live for. With this said I will end for the night. I hope to Hell the right People read this, sincerely, Kelly McGill.

156 Followers?

   I must be doing something right, I have more Followers then ever now. I made up My mind just to follow Police and the likes, it seems to be working. I don't have much to say except I'm looking for work. Would'nt You know Cheyenne seems to be a hotspot, after My last visit I'm a little gun shy. Four months in Jail for doing nothing. I'll never walk past a Jailhouse and say 'There's a Jail I've never been in.' again, seriously, I wound up there that night. It did'nt help that I was drunk and wanted to talk to the Police about Richard Pattison. What I really wanted was to go to the Mental Institute so I could prove I am not insane, crazy or what? Damn Drunks anyhow. I was a serious one too, in My early twenties I could drink a case of beer, and did everyday, and still maintain some sense. Now if I drink a twelve pack and I'll be a slobbering Fool. I am insisting on staying sober now. I did it for a year and a half before and I was sober for around five months after the superbowl last year. I wound up starting again after the class reunion this summer, one beer and I'm hooked again so this time I refuse even the one. I have confidence in My ability to stay dry. I will prevail. Drowning Your sorrows is not the answer Folks, words I am going to live by. Have a good one Folks, Kelly.

I quit!

   I quit, but not here. I hate it when You work with People that just don't give a damn if it looks good or not, so I walked off another job today. The main Boss said I could go back to work but it would lead to a fight on the job so screw it. I know it sounds like I can't get along but really can't stand a lot of People in America. So many of Them treat You like crap, and when You get pissed Your the bad Guy. All My life I have had some Jerk trying to piss Me off. I told You about My Sister Lois yelling at Me when I was a Kid. That went on from the time around when I was in the fifth grade until high school, no shit. She went as far as telling Her first Husband that I hit Her in the breast and made Her boob fall off. He was going to kick My ass for it until I convinced Him She was lying. It amazes Me how People can screw with You and think it's right. I keep reading where some Kid out there is bullied to the point of suicide, damn Kids, knock Your crap off. "You have a lot to live for.", is a saying that has kept Me going at times. I even tried to commit suicide once Myself, I tied My shirt around the bars on the cell door and hung there. Once I started choking I stood up. So I know first hand what it feels like to want to end Your life. I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing I can do about this Richard Pattison Fella. I have no proof that He set up the acid for Me, even thought I know for a fact that He and Bill Rowley did so. And They have the freedom to do whatever They want on the Television it seems too. All I can really hope for is that a semi runs Them down, justice anyway I can get it right? Arrogant Bastards like those win while the slow Folks like Me get rolled over on I understand that, for that is the way of the World. But just once a Loser like Me needs to win. Here's to that. Kelly.

Love Stinks!

   I got one for You here. I told You about Sheila and Nancy both having love in Their eyes, well I have seen it four times now. Once with Nancy and twice with Sheila there was another time to boot. This time is really amazing too. I have done a lot of hitch hiking in My life, and on one trip I was sitting along side of the road when a bus went by. This bus happened to be an old Folks bus. I looked up from where I was sitting and looked into the eyes of an elderly Woman, she had love in Her eyes. I am smiling right now thinking of that one. Some Gal's just have a soft spot for a Kid like Me I guess. The bad part is that I get so shocked by it that I revert into a small Child to tell the truth. One major malfuntion with Me is that I have a stubborn streak too, that is what has came between Me and Sheila. Nancy just blew My mind so bad I ran away and have cried about it ever since. Believe Me when I say, true love does exist, I know I feel it constantly. It hurts like Hell to break a Woman's heart I say with the voice of experience. All of this just proves how naive and innocent I was in My youth. I was the type People could take advantage of and They did just exactly that too. When I realize just how I was set up by My so-called Friends I boil with anger. I insist on saying that Richard Pattison and Bill Rowley are directly the cause I My misery when it comes to My mental problems. They will be damned lucky if They escape with Their lives My Friends, in My opinion what They have done to Me is a killing offence. I admit that I went to California to seek Richard out and do just that, I stopped Myself halfway to Washington to do the same to Bill Rowley. There is'nt a Man alive that would not want the same if He were in My shoes and You know that. I am a simple Child in life Folks and it made it a horrid existence on Earth I say it here and now. I sure as Hell hope the right People read this and I find My justice, but until I do I write. Have a great life Folks, and Kids? STAY THE FUCK OFF OF THE DRUGS GODDAMNITT!!! Really! Sincerely Kelly.

Post 300

   Still here, still trying. If I have'nt proved My honesty yet I don't know what else I can do. Yes I was sent a message of some sort via a Playboy after I walked into a party at the Marriott hotel in Austin Texas. Why else would Johnny Carson be talking about it. I admit I never read the article stating I had walked in to the party, nor did I actually hear Mr. Carson mention My name. It is odd how Johnny stared at the camera after saying "The Weirdo!" when the channel was changed back to His show. He immediately went to commercial and when He came back He started with all this "Mr. Floyd calling Mrs. Floyd." crap. Strange? Yea I'd say. But that is the way People seem to be, I'm talking about Them not Me. I never asked to be changed in any way shape or form Folks. I was happy go lucky as Laura Chiles called Me. Now I am a depressed Kid that is fighting for a chance to bring down a Punk that thinks He's cute. A Hotshot Kid is what Richard Pattison is and has always been. I take a look at this Hefner character and see Him that way too. What a life He lives. What is He 85? And married to a Girl in Her twenties I believe. Jealous? Not even. I would be the happiest Man on the face of the Earth just to be with Nancy or Sheila, straight up. I am dead serious too, these Bastards tried to get Me to huff Ether while They had Me so high I can tell you I saw My life spinning out of control, but I was no way wise enough to realize what was actually happening at the time. I just knew I had better not try any thing like Ether, I know I would be a useless Person as far as thinking goes. It's sad but true, these were My Friends. I surely do hope something comes of all this, I want to see these Bastards sitting in Jail for Their crimes. I will end with that said tonight. Sincerely, Kelly McGill.

Just another blog

   How's it going today? I'm still fightin' Myself. Expect a new boot on the market if We can accomplish Our objective. Today We sent in the paper work, along with $1,000. for a patent. I have My fingers crossed. Once I am finished here I plan on getting a hold of a company in Omaha Nebraska about funding Us. If all goes well I can say for sure I won't be wasting My time writing about My sorry life anymore. For years I have had the dream of opening My own C-stores. I would put Them where I am sure They would make a profit. Plus I am a Carpenter and know how to do custom work, I would love to build a few houses and sell Them. We'll see aye? Other than that I aint gonna say a damn thing about how rotten life has been. I'll C-Ya later, Kelly.

I refuse to quit!

   Yesterday I mentioned My memory, it's still intact it's only when I try to remember exact times of occurances that I get a little fuzzy. But I do know exactly when I was set up with the drugs that started My mind to wander. I feel it may take years to bring down these People, but it is definitely worth it if it works. The reason I am saying this is that here in My hometown of Riverton Wyoming a crime has just been proven. It took place around a month after I left for Austin Texas so I never even heard of it. A Woman and Her two Sons were killed by Her ex-husband in September of 1980. He was sentenced to life in prison without parole Friday. One of the Guys at work went to the hearing because He was a Friend of the Boys when it happened. Murder is worse than what took place in My life, even though I really wish They had of killed Me instead because I would not have suffered the mental trauma I have seen for the past thirty two years. It was a vicious thing to do to My life even though. I seek justice by writing about My screwy life, I sure as Hell hope it works. Have a great day Folks, Kelly McGill.

My life?

   I told You about going to Santa Monica, I went the second time to track down this Pattison Fella, the first time I went to try and get My life story written. I first started trying to get it wrote right after the attack in New York in 2001. I was so confident that it was going to be written I just dropped everything I owned and went to California. I left a storage unit in Dallas full of tools and drove My truck to Arizona where it broke down and took a bus into L.A. where I first went to Pasadena. After a week there My pants were falling off Me due to the lack of food. I looked for work everyday and in the evening I would go over to where an orange tree was and eat. Finally I went to Santa Monica where I knew Playboy west studios was located. I camped out just down the street. One of the things I left in Dallas was My attempt at writing My biograghy, I bet the Folks that wound up with that unit had a good laugh when They opened it and saw My I.D. I went and got one during lunch one day, They told Me to take My hat off. My picture was with My hair sticking straight up and a goofy smile on My face. Plus I had a shirt on that read Rotten Ralphs, a seriously funny look to tell the truth. My visit was for not, and I soon left California after around seven months in the streets. They really make it too easy out there for You, I knew where to get three meals a day during the week. And on Saturday You could really stock up for Sunday, there are a lot of fat Homeless People out there. I have seen it where a Drunk is passed out and People will lay money down next to Him so that when He awakens He can go get a beer. After I left I hitch hiked for nearly five thousand miles. First I went to St. Louis and stayed with My Nephew, after a week there and no work I went to Memphis. Three days there and I was off to Nashville. I have been told My songs are pretty good so I thought I'd try that route. A street musician plays His heart out and gets little in return. I made $1. in Nashville. I was playing and a Man and His wife were standing at the light waiting for it to change, at first They ignored Me, but after listening for a second He turned back and gave Me a buck. Everytime I found a place where I could make some real cash I was run off, it sucks being out there and busting You hump for change. To finish the trip I went back to Dallas and finally to Austin. I took on a job building pre-fabbed arches right next to Dell computers in Round Rock, all I had was a borrowed saw and cord. Where I learned to frame We used axes, I'm still faster then You would believe driving nails. John Lucas was My Boss for years in Austin, He has trophies the size of a Man for competition nail driving, I was always just a breath slower. He won first place one year with 36 nails in 30 seconds. It did'nt take Me long to be able to buy a truck and I was going strong again. I could still go to Texas and run a crew of My own but it's getting rough to do anymore, the Mexicans are taking it over. Enough rambling on for tonight, I just felt like talking about trying to get My story told, so I'll quit with this said. Good night and have a great weekend, Kelly.